Light Within The Darkness 7

Light Within The Darkness

Part 7

Posted: November 16, 2007
Title: Light Within The Darkness
Author: Zilah

*****

Light within the darkness,
That’s what you are.
My beautiful angel, always
Always, you look at me
With love in your eyes.
Love that steals my breath away,
And makes my soul to sing.

*

Celeborn stared at his daughter, once again wondering what was amiss with her. Celebrían had changed completely since that horrid night when they had all thought that she would step to the Halls of Mandos. The daughter that had been so dear to him was now like someone else. Someone whom Celeborn didn’t care to know. Even Celebrían’s old friends had shunned away from her, and most of them had already traveled to Aman.

Once a warm and caring elleth, she had turned calculating and cold; very much like her nana. Celeborn shuddered. Celebrían had been the only consolation in his otherwise miserable life, and now even that had taken away from him.

Now Celeborn faced a most difficult problem in his long life. How in Arda could he let Elrond the Peredhel marry his daughter when he was sure that they wouldn’t be happy? Celebrían herself was willing; actually she was suspiciously willing. Celeborn remembered how fiercely she had resisted the marriage before her brush with death. How she had insisted that she loved another. And then, suddenly her lover had died under shady circumstances and Celebrían had turned into a stranger.

As much as Celeborn tried to solve this riddle, he didn’t find the answer. And now it was time to leave for Imladris.

“What do I do? What can I do? Am I really going to watch as another elf will bind himself into life long misery? Maybe I didn’t have the choice but still… Elrond still has an opportunity to avoid the destiny that has set for him.”

Celeborn finally made up his mind. He would do everything in his power to prevent this marriage, no matter what punishment he got for his actions. A grim smile appeared on his face when he thought that his life couldn’t become worse than it already was.

* * * *

Elrond stared in horror at the parchment that the courier had given to him. He couldn’t believe the words that were written in it.

“Oh Valar! What do I do? How in Arda can I welcome him like nothing happened between us? How can I marry someone else while he’s watching?”

Elrond had forced his heart break aside, thinking that he just had to adjust to the situation, because he was unable to change it. Struggling would cause only more pain to him. But his decision didn’t prevent the chill that threatened to drown him when he read those cursed words all over again: Legolas was coming to the wedding.

* * * *

The journey from Mirkwood to Imladris was the worst in Legolas’ life. With every passing moment approached the time when his heart would break for good. Deep in his heart Legolas knew that he would never love another.

“And who is this Celebrían anyway? She doesn’t love you like I do, of that, I’m sure. I would love you forever if you were mine, Elrond,” he thought and the jealousy he had never felt before tore at his heart.

Only with great effort, did Legolas managed to hide the tears he shed every single night, from his escort. He didn’t want anyone to know about his inner turmoil. Still, Legolas couldn’t hide the pallor of his skin or dark circles that appeared under his eyes. He found his warriors throwing worried glances at him, but no one dared to say anything and Legolas was grateful of their consideration. How in Arda could he have told anyone about the true state of his mind? That he loved the elf whose wedding he was going to, that he wanted Elrond for himself? That would have caused a great scandal and it would have surely damaged relations between three elven kingdoms. He had no other options but to bury this unwanted feeling forever.

Legolas’ heart clenched with fear and grief, when they finally reached the Bruinen. How different his earlier visits had been! How his heart had pounded wildly in his chest, only because he knew that he would see Elrond again… How in Arda would he manage to keep his appearance and give his well wishes when he really wanted to throw himself at Elrond’s feet and beg of his love?

Imladris appeared into horizon. Legolas closed his eyes and gathered all strength he could muster.

“Saes, Valar! Help me! I need to do this right, for my family’s sake. I cannot let them down, no matter what!” He thought desperately.

* * * *

“Welcome to Imladris,” the painfully familiar voice said. Legolas raised his head and met his beloved’s gaze. He dismounted slowly and walked to Elrond, feeling unreal. Was this all really happening?

“Thank you, Híren (My Lord). I bring the well wishes from my family,” he answered formally.

Elrond thought that this was far worse than he had ever imagined. Legolas was as beautiful as always, but it was obvious that something ailed the young elf. He was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. But the fact that scared Elrond most was Legolas’ empty eyes. He could have wept when he saw the lack of all emotions in the usually expressive azure orbs.

Glorfindel stood behind Elrond and watched Legolas approaching. He sensed the tension between his Lord and the Prince and tried to help.

“We are honored to have you to Imladris, ernilen (my Prince),” he quickly offered. He had seen the prince before when he had spent the whole summer in here.

“It is good to be here, Lord Glorfindel,” Legolas said softly and managed a smile to golden- haired captain. He was grateful that he could turn his focus somewhere else.

Elrond too threw a grateful glance to his friend and suggested that Glorfindel would show Legolas his room. The two elves left and Legolas was relieved when he finally got away from Elrond’s disturbing presence.

* * * *

Legolas flinched when he heard a knock from the door. He hesitated before he opened it, hoping that there was someone other than Elrond. He didn’t feel strong enough to confront him. But the golden- haired elf that stood in the corridor wasn’t Elrond.

“Uncle Alassien! I didn’t know you were here!” Legolas called delighted, and launched himself at the young minstrel’s arms.

“We just arrived, and this time I will stay in Imladris for good; my studies in Lórien are over. But look at you; you are grown so much that I almost didn’t recognize you,” Alassien said smiling. He was happy to see his nephew after several years’ separation.

“I am adult now, and I am taller than you, it seems,” Legolas chuckled and invited his uncle in. He had always loved his young uncle, though they had seen each other far too rarely during years. Legolas knew that Alassien’s childhood in Mirkwood had been unhappy, and therefore he didn’t want to return there, even if his nana had stepped to the Halls of Mandos years ago. But Legolas didn’t want to think that now; he was happy that he had something else to think of than his own sorrows.

They talked for hours, and Legolas told his uncle everything about last events, leaving only his own problems aside. The sensitive elf anticipated that there was more than Legolas told him, but decided not to ask. Legolas would tell if he thought it necessary. He told Legolas about his studies and his work in Lórien and how he finally had decided to come to work in Imladris.

But Alassien too didn’t want to tell his nephew everything. And that was the reason why he had decided to leave Lórien, where he had been happy. But the things in Lórien had changed so much that he was sure that this was the right decision.

Finally Alassien rose and made his leave.

“I’m going to perform in the Fire Hall tonight. Will you come and listen?” He asked.

“You can be sure of that! I have missed your music. Ada Lindir always said that you were better than him, but I don’t think that anyone can really best him,” Legolas said, with an affectionate smile on his face, when he remembered his ada.

Alassien laughed.

“He is a miracle! I have no desire to compete with him; he is my first teacher after all. And still best of them all, I think. But your appreciation gladdens me nevertheless.”

* * * *

Legolas was alone again, but he was happy about the unexpected meeting. He noticed that he had almost forgotten his grief. Almost.

Finally, he gathered his wits and went to ready himself for the dinner. He frowned when he remembered that he was going to meet Lady Galadriel and Lady Celeborn for the first time. He didn’t want to think about the third elf he would meet, and he decided to avoid Elrond and his betrothed as much as possible.

* * * *

Legolas hated her at the very first sight.

His heart burned with helpless rage and jealousy when he saw Elrond escorting a beautiful, blond elleth to the Great Hall. He couldn’t look at their faces. He feared terribly that he would see signs of love or affection on Elrond’s face, and he struggled against horrible need to go and tear Celebrían away from his beloved.

Instead, he turned his attention to Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, trying to remember all his ada’s instructions about civil behavior. He would need every bit of his education of diplomacy before the day was over.

Lord Celeborn turned out to be a pleasant, if not very vivid company. But Legolas didn’t like Lady Galadriel at all. Despite her beauty, she was cold and condescending towards everyone, her hervenn included. Legolas couldn’t understand that; his own parents had always loved each other very much. At Legolas’ relief, Lady Galadriel left them alone and went to Celebrían and her betrothed.

Legolas ate in silence, trying to keep his gaze away from Elrond as much as possible. He feared terribly that his feelings were visible in his eyes for all to see. When the dinner was almost over, he started to think that he had succeeded in hiding his grief.

He was wrong.

“You really should be more careful with your feelings, ernilen. You don’t know the danger you are in,” a soft whisper came to Legolas’ ear. He looked in shock at Celeborn, who had uttered those words. Celeborn’s calm, almost compassionate attitude puzzled him. Why didn’t the Lord berate him if he knew? He was in love with his daughter’s betrothed, after all.

“What do you mean, Híren?” He breathed, his heart starting to beat wildly.

“You have very expressive eyes, ernilen. Try to hide your feelings better, I beg of you. If my wife founds out, you are doomed.”

*****

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