Light Within The Darkness 5

Light Within The Darkness

Part 5

Posted: September 21, 2007
Title: Light Within The Darkness
Author: Zilah

*****

The very breath of my life,
That’s what you are.
My beautiful angel, always
Always I cherish you,
With devotion and happiness,
Love that fills my heart with joy
And gives me wings to fly.

*

Elrond forgot his melancholy when they finally managed their way to the healing wing. Thranduil lowered Lindir on the bed and Elrond examined him. He gasped after seeing that the child was coming quickly.

“You were right, pen neth. Your daughter seems to be quite ready to come,” he said and then focused to his work.

Lindir’s pained moans echoed in the room, but suddenly there was a new voice joining in them. The new- born elfling let out an irritated cry, and his happy parents wept with joy.

“Look, Lindir nín, look! We have a beautiful iell,” Thranduil whispered hoarsely, feasting on the welcomed sight with his eyes. Broadly smiling, Elrond cleaned the child and gave her to Lindir’s waiting arms.

“I’m so happy, meleth nín. I love you both so much,” Lindir sobbed, studying his iell and then his mate who had a goofy grin on his face. The new- born elleth had inherited Lindir’s silvery hair and Thranduil’s bright green eyes. She was the complete opposite to her brother who had Thranduil’s golden hair and Lindir’s blue eyes. Even now they could see that the little elleth would eventually grow into a striking beauty.

Elrond waited tactfully for Lindir’s and Thranduil’s emotional storm to finally settle before he congratulated them.

“Thank you, Elrond. We owe you so much,” Lindir smiled at his foster-father.

“It is I who should be grateful, pen neth. You have always been a joy to me, and it warms my heart to see you happy,” Elrond said softly, feeling tears in his own eyes too. But he wasn’t quite sure if they were shed only because of happiness.

Lindir started to smile when he heard two familiar voices echoing from the corridor. Thranduil went to the door and let two breathless elves in.

“Sadron! Legolas! I’m so glad that you came. Can I introduce you your little sister, Legolas?” Lindir said, beaming at his son and father in law.

Legolas came closer, an adoring smile on his face. He had always thought that his ada Lindir was beautiful, but never had he seemed more beautiful to Legolas than now. Lindir was exhausted, sweaty and his hair was in complete disarray, but his happiness seemed to brighten the whole room.

“Can I… can I hold her? Saes, ada. I promise to be careful,” Legolas said his heart pounding. He has waited for this moment for so long!

“I know you will, ion nín. Come, greet your sister,” Lindir smiled, carefully handing the little bundle to Legolas.

The young elf stared mesmerized at the tiny elleth in his arms. His whole life he had longed a little sister or brother, and now he finally had one. He made a silent vow to always love and protect her.

* * * *

Elrond felt a strange feeling when he looked at Legolas who held his sister in his arms. The young elf suddenly seemed different to Elrond, and the baby he held, did not have silvery white, but raven hair. Legolas had a loving gaze in his eyes when he softly whispered to the elfling.

The vision disappeared, but a stabbing pain and jealousy filled Elrond’s heart when he realized what he had seen. It had been Legolas in the future, holding his own child in his arms. And obviously the child would be born from deep love; that Elrond could have presumed from the happiness he had seen on Legolas’ face.

“I knew it… all the time… I knew it. He isn’t meant for me, despite what he now says. He will forget me, and he will be happy with the one who is his true soul mate.”

As hard as he tried, Elrond couldn’t be happy, even if he now knew that Legolas would be all right. The knowledge that he wasn’t Legolas’ chosen mate was far too painful.

* * * *

Legolas gave the elfling back to his ada Lindir, kissing them both. Then he hugged his ada Thranduil.

“I’m so happy that she is finally here. I want you to teach me how to tend her! I want to learn everything,” he said smiling.

Lindir laughed at his son’s enthusiasm.

“I will remember your promise… when I need to change her nappies for the tenth time in one night,” he grinned, winking at his amused hervenn.

“What name you will give to her?” Legolas wanted to know.

Lindir and Thranduil glanced at each other, a silent message transferring between them.

“We would be honored, if you wanted to name your sister, ion nín,” Thranduil said slowly.

Legolas was wordless at first but then a dazzling smile appeared on his face. He loved the idea naming his sister and he was happy that his parents trusted him such an important task.

“I want to give her a beautiful name, because she is a beautiful elfling… how about ‘Aerlinniel (song)’?”

“It is a perfect choice! Thank you, Legolas nín,” Lindir beamed his approval.

Legolas had ignored Elrond’s presence so far, but he knew that he now needed to face him. His smile disappeared when he turned to Elrond. He didn’t dare step closer, seeing a distant gaze in Elrond’s eyes. The last events between them had created a rift, and suddenly Legolas realized how much he had lost with Elrond’s rejection. He had lost his beloved before he even had a chance to have him… but he had also lost a friend who had always been dear to him. There would be no return to the deep, loving friendship they had once shared. Legolas stopped in his tracks and an awkward silence fell in the room.

Elrond saw Legolas’ uncertainty and his heart ached. It was his fault that Legolas couldn’t bear his closeness. If everything had been as before, Legolas would have launched himself in his arms without hesitation. But now he just stood there, obviously not knowing what to say or do. Finally, Elrond forced himself to break the silence, in hopes to vanish the uncomfortable air.

“Congratulations to you too, pen- neth. I’m sure that you will make an excellent big brother. Little Aerlinniel is a very lucky elleth to have you as her big brother,” he said, trying to smile.

“Thank you, Elrond for your kind words. I have always wished a sibling,” Legolas whispered, not daring to meet Elrond’s gaze. He feared that his longing for the half-elf would be visible in his eyes.

Thranduil made haste to save his son and Elrond from the uncomfortable situation, bidding Legolas to go and have a bath.

“You really need one, Legolas, after several days in the woods” he reminded smiling.

Legolas smiled thankfully at his father and left, relieved that he hadn’t broken down in front of Elrond. His heart was broken but he still wanted to save what little dignity he had left.

* * * *

Elrond stayed in Mirkwood several weeks after the childbirth; even if it was the last place he wanted to be at the moment. But he couldn’t leave yet, not before he could be sure that Lindir was really back in good health. Elrond tried to bury his true feelings as deep as possible, but soon found that he had failed.

“I wanted to ask you something, Elrond,” Lindir said softly to Elrond when he was examining him. He still worried for Legolas, even if Thranduil had told him about Lórien’s visit. And he could sense that Elrond also wasn’t happy about the situation.

“What do you want to know, pen- neth? You know you can ask me anything,” Elrond whispered, trying to keep his voice steady. He already feared what his former foster son might say to him. Legolas was his son, after all, and Elrond had broken his heart. Elrond had feared this conversation coming since Legolas all but escaped from the healing wing after his sister’s birth. That had been the last time he had seen the prince.

“I just wanted to know… are you happy, Elrond? You deserve someone to love, a family. I thought that you had found happiness when you told us about your betrothal.”

Elrond hesitated; should he tell, that he had engaged with Celebrían because of politics, not love? He knew that he couldn’t tell the whole truth; his shameful secret.

“I will have a family with Celebrían. Our wedding is next summer,” he finally said, knowing that he only delayed inevitable by avoiding the conversation.

“But Elrond…. do you… do you love her? Are you sure that you will become happy by marrying her? You never speak about her, and you seem always so sad. Why is that?”

Elrond was at loss. He had known that Lindir would eventually see through him; that he wasn’t marrying Celebrían because of love.

“Not every marriage is formed because of love, and still they can be quite happy, you know. Everyone is not as fortunate as you, pen neth,” Elrond whispered, lowering his head. He could have wept because of Lindir’s warm compassion, but felt terribly guilty at the same time. What would Lindir say if he knew that Elrond loved his son more than it was appropriate?

“… But I need to ask something from you.”

“Ask me whatever you want, pen- neth,” Elrond promised, relieved that the awkward conversation was over. But his relief turned to be premature.

“I beg of you, Elrond, be gentle with my son. You two have always been close to each other, but now his heart is breaking because of you. I know that I cannot make you love him in that way, but I feel so bad when I see that you two cannot stand each other’s company even one minute, when you were so good friends before.”

“What in Arda do you mean, Lindir? You cannot be serious that I and Legolas…” Elrond breathed, stunned. He couldn’t believe what Lindir was saying to him.

“And why do you think I wasn’t serious? I know you still have deep feelings for my son; I would be very happy if he had someone like you as his mate.”

Elrond had been completely wrong when he had thought that nothing could be worse than to lose Legolas to someone else. But now he knew he had been completely wrong. His former agony was nothing compared to the pain he now felt. Lindir had broken his false assumptions with few words; his noble sacrifice had been meaningless from the beginning. But even if Lindir and Thranduil were ready to accept him as Legolas’ mate, it was too late. He couldn’t break his promise to Celebrían.

His own blindness and denial had sealed his destiny, and now he would live his immortal life with the knowledge that he had driven his beautiful angel away from him, for nothing.

*****

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