Trin Genedril: Through The Looking Glass 9

Trin Genedril: Through The Looking Glass

Part 9

Posted: January 18, 2008
Title: Trin Genedril : Through the Looking Glass
Author: Orchyd Constyne

*****

Louisiana, 2012

Some days, I need to remind myself to breathe.

Each day, I learn something new. Each moment brings me a new lesson in a life I had forgotten to live.

There are four of us now, instead of three. Was it truly so long ago that it was just three? Three is all I remember. Three seemed such a stable number. Safe. But four feels *right*.

Some nights, I stare out into the Gulf of Mexico and I crave Aman like I crave blood. A burning need to sail west, though that way will never again open to me. There is sadness, too, for all those I had loved and chose to leave behind. I can never tell my companions how I long to hear Celebrían's laugh once more, or hear Lindir sing.

We are singular in this world. Severed from all we knew. Foisted into this land of Men.

The nights when I walk the shoreline, my feet in the warm salt water, I sometimes think I can see that far peak of Aman's watchtower. I cannot help but cry then. Mourn for choices made, for loves loved.

I think everyone has regrets. To regret is to live, and live I do.

With him by my side.

He makes the regret an easier burden to bear, and I love him for it.

Tonight, I walk the shoreline, the foam playing with my bare toes. I look out to the horizon, and I think I see those beautiful grey ships.

Then he takes my hand, draws me away from the illusion my heart creates, and kisses me. I bury my hands in his wind-tussled hair, and he laughs.

"What is it you see when you look out there?" he asks me.

I smile against his mouth. "I see you."

"You can be so strange, Glorfindel," Erestor says to me, then he lets out a whooping laugh as I swing him around.

"You'd have me no other way," I tell him.

Erestor stares up at me, and I see so much love in his midnight eyes. "No, I wouldn't."

And we breathe.

*****

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