Nobody's Quite Like You 4

Nobody's Quite Like You

Parts 4 - 5

Posted: August 2005
Title: Nobody's Quite Like You
Author: Darknightjess, Linden Jay

*****

Chapter 4

Summary: Talks of walls and hitting them _ but not much else...

Dennis Hopper leaned his palm against the buzzer, grinning as he heard it echo through the house. "Mortensen! Wake your sorry ass up and answer the door." He shouted and poked at the buzzer again. "You could just give me a key and we wouldn't have to wake the termites every time I come by." He hummed along with the 'Three Blind Mice' tune he was currently playing on the buzzer. "I need to get a bigger repertoire." He mumbled and then called louder. "Or you could get a more entertaining doorbell."

"Jesus fucking .... god damned lunatic," Viggo stomped down the stairs, a sheet wrapped around his waist, his hair sticking every which way, glaring blearily at the sun as he flung the door open. "You are a certifiable fucking lunatic_ you know that right?" he grumbled, turning around and stumbling back into the house.

"Uh huh, seems I've heard that before." Dennis glanced at his friend. "You're uglier than usual. Coffee?" He asked and walked toward the kitchen.

"Fuck you. Make it yourself. You never heard of jet_lag before?" Viggo ran his hand through his tangled hair, frowning when his fingers got caught and tugging them loose.

Dennis happily flipped Viggo off and set the coffee pot to brewing. "Yeah, you were gone, weren't you? Hmmph, so?"

"So what?" Viggo leaned against the counter, the sheet draped low around his waist, rubbing his eyes. "It was a good trip. Too short, but that's just because I spent more time getting there and back then I did actually on land."

"Listen toga boy, did you see the art lover or not?" Dennis asked as he pulled two cups out of the cupboard and bent down to watch as the last few drips of coffee fell in the pot.

"Toga_ what?" Viggo looked down and rolled his eyes. "Karl. Yes, I saw Karl. And for what is neither the first, nor the last time, you were wrong." Viggo checked the coffee pot and sighed. "I'm going to find pants. Try and behave."
"I am never wrong _ merely misunderstood _ ask my attorney." He started off in a loud voice and then trailed into a mutter as he poured the coffee. "Yeah, our friendship should be based on the premise of you should always wear pants." He walked into the living room and sat the cups down. Picking up a camera he began checking the settings before looking toward the hall. "What was I wrong about anyway." He called.

"What? You were wrong about Karl, that's what you were wrong about," Viggo called, managing to find a pair of clean...ish jeans on the floor, a good match for his paint stained shirt. "Dennis, are you touching things you're not supposed to be playing with? It's too quiet down there."

Dennis flipped the doorway off and grinned. "You've got the EV setting on this one too high." He called out, suppressing a laugh, knowing that Viggo didn't but it would make him check it later anyway. "What are you babbling that I was wrong about? Karl? Come drink some coffee and make sense."

"Oh what the hell do you know," Viggo muttered, heading down the stairs, decent, if not well dressed, his hair still sticking up all over. "And yes, you were wrong about Karl. Can't believe I flew all the way out there to ask him that based on something you said. I should have my head examined," he said, taking the coffee gratefully.

"What did you ask him?" Dennis said, stretching his legs out in front of him and taking a sip of coffee.

"Asked him if he was in love with me."

Dennis sat up quickly, sloshing coffee trying to sit it on the table. He was laughing and wiping at the coffee that had come through his nose when he snorted. "Fuck that burns. You did what?" He said incredulously. "How have you ever managed to get laid?"

"I manage just fine, thank you," Viggo said frostily. "Would you like details, Dennis?"

"Only on the part where you flew to the ass end of the world and did _ whatever you did." He waved his hand around before picking up the cup and leaning back in the chair again. "Yes _ go on. Tell father Hopper my son."

"I really don't think there's anyone else I know with your combination of pretentiousness and vulgarity." Viggo said, shaking his head. "I took a cab to his place, he opened the door, I gave him a hug, and I asked him if he was in love with me." Viggo recounted.

"I'm a pip _ you on the other hand are really really bad at this relationship shit. Are we sure Henry is really yours?" He scratched across his chin. "You just asked _ like that? Okay _ and then he said what?"

Viggo ignored the bit about Henry as being unimportant to the conversation at hand. That and he didn't have anything convenient to throw at Dennis. "Yes, I asked him like that. He said of course he loved me. So I asked him why he got the tattoo, and he said he liked the art. So see? You were wrong." Viggo said, conveniently leaving off Karl's repetition of the question.

Dennis got up and looked under the chair. Walked to the couch he knelt down and looked under it, then lifted a cushion and peered under that. He went to the closet and opened the door, standing on his toes he looked on the shelf before moving the clothes to first one side and then the other.

Viggo held off from asking as long as he could, before he just couldn't stand it anymore. "And what exactly are you doing?" he asked in the unendingly patient voice that only the parent of a teenager could pull off.

"Hmmm?" Dennis asked from where he was leaning over looking into a bookshelf.

"What the fuck are you doing? It's very early and I have better things to do_ namely sleeping_ then watching you play imaginary hide and seek."

Dennis snorted a laugh out before schooling his features into a scholarly look. "Well first I figured that I was looking for the real Viggo, 'cause you got to be a pod person. Then I was looking to see if I could help you find where you left your brain, but now I think I'm looking for whoever helps dress and feed your ass, 'cause you got to be too dumb to do it on your own." He said with a cackle and sat back down.

"What the hell? This was all your idea in the first place_ I wasn't supposed to ask him about it?" Viggo protested, setting his coffee cup down with a thump.

"Viggo you _ you _ " Dennis looked at his friend, face serious. "Viggo, c'mon man, I know you can do this. Think about what you did. Hell, buddy _ think about what he did. You still with me there buddy? Okay, now think about what you did again. Got it? Now _ what did he do when you asked him? Take all the time you need there Rain Man, we got all day." He sat back and smiled. "Feel free to talk amongst yourself."

"He looked surprised that I asked. No... he looked shocked," Viggo corrected, ignoring the fact that he was, indeed, largely talking to himself. "But I told him it was okay, Dennis_ I said that it didn't matter whether it was true or not_ that we could work around it."

Dennis sat and stared at Viggo and then burst into a braying laugh, leaning forward and almost choking. "You told him it was okay? You validated his feelings and then approved the fact that he felt them and then told him it was something that you could work around? Aren't you gay guys supposed to be like in touch with your feminine side? And understand how this shit works and all? Cause if there's an exam you gotta pass _ you had to have cheated? Vig, you are really bad at this _ really."

"Shut up_ I forgot how much I hated you. And if you really want to be technical, I'm bi, not gay," Viggo protested, stalling for time while he thought over what Dennis had just said. "But_ it was okay_ I mean, we fucked and everything. He shoved me into a wall, and I said something about maybe I didn't say that right, and he kissed me and... okay, it was pretty rough, but that wasn't anything horribly unusual," Viggo thought back to the encounter, his brow furrowing a little.

"Yeah speaking of walls _ you've hit mine. The way too fucking much information wall." Dennis held his hands up and waved them around. "Gimme a minute here, I'm going to need therapy or alcohol or both." He shook his head and then started again. "Okay, I'm going to say this fast and then we are going to swear to one another that we will never speak of this again. This guy kissed you to what? Shut you up? He fu _ shit _ fucked you _ " he glared at Viggo. "You're buying the alcohol. Fucked you against a wall, but he didn't laugh about the question? He didn't get pissed and throw you out or think you were crazy and ask you to explain yourself? He _ aw shit I'm going to have to say it again _ he fucked you rough _ against a wall and that was it _ no other discussion about it?"

Viggo thought back, the memory more fuzzy then he'd like, between the exhaustion from the plane ride and how overwhelming the experience had been. "He... only kissed me the once. Actually, he only kissed me that one time the whole time I was there, now that I..." he frowned again, trying to remember. "It was rough, and it was intense_ and you're not going to need therapy, but I'll buy the drinks if that's what you need_" Viggo cut himself off again. "He said something about this being what we're good at, which we are, and then... okay that was the part that was really strange," Viggo said quietly to himself.

"Stranger than the whole wall thing? Sure why not, bring it on. C'mon _ lay it out there."

Viggo raised an eyebrow and decided to give it to him plain. "He told me he had to go, because he had a date, and he tried to walk out the front door, just wearing his shorts, condom still on, come all over his hand and chest." Viggo made a wiping motion against his chest. "Tried to clean his hand off, but, y'know..." he let the sentence dangle. You're enjoying this a bit too much old man. You want to play shrink, you get the full deal.

Dennis stood. "Okay. That's it then. Good night Cleveland." He raised his hands and walked to the door, yelling back over his shoulder before it closed behind him. "You might want to ask yourself why the men in your life keep running for the door." The sound of his laughter followed him out.

"Hey, you asked for it you bastard," Viggo muttered to the empty room, slumping down in a chair, his empty coffee cup dangling from his fingers. "Shit. God dammit. Shit." He sighed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes as he replayed his few days in New Zealand. Karl walking out the door, he'd been too tired and well fucked to find it more than just strange. But considering who his friends were_ Viggo rolled his eyes at the thought of the lunatic who'd just walked out his door_ strange was pretty relative. And he'd excused Karl's frequent absences_ he hadn't let Karl know he was coming, after all, and he hadn't expected him to just drop everything in his life because he'd shown up on the doorstep. And when they'd fucked... the not kissing had seemed strange, but somehow, they'd never ended up fucking facing each other any of the times while he was there_ so it wasn't...
"God dammit." Viggo growled again, smacking himself hard in the forehead. Getting up out of the chair with a groan, he dialed Karl's number, only half realizing that he'd dialed it by heart, listening to the phone ring and cursing again as he heard the answering machine pick up.

"Hey, Karl... It's Viggo. You probably... shit, it's probably really late where you are. No wonder the machine picked up. I hope it didn't wake you up. Um, anyway. I just wanted to let you know that I'm home_ flight was a killer, but..." he doesn't give a fuck about that_ stop babbling "sorry, just a little jet_lagged still, and I had Dennis over here hassling me and.... Karl, I think_ no, I know I fucked up. I owe you an apology. Can you give me a call? Thanks. Talk to you soon. Um, bye."

Viggo hung up the phone, wincing as he went over his call in his head, dialing the number again before stopping himself midway and hanging up the phone, talking to himself. "No. Don't call him again. It's the middle of the night. Wait and let him call you back. You can explain then." If he'll let you. "Fuck."

Karl stood in the middle of the living room with his arms wrapped around his chest and listened to the deep raspy voice on the machine. "Don't worry about it Vig. You don't owe me shit." He said in a near whisper, hitting the delete button and walking from the room.

*****

Chapter 5

Summary: And the light bulb finally comes on?

Dennis Hopper leaned his palm against the buzzer, grinning as he heard it echo through the house. "Mortensen! Wake your sorry ass up and answer the door." He shouted and poked at the buzzer again. "Why haven't you returned my calls? If you're dead in there I'm going to dress you in women's underwear and put a ham sandwich in your hand." He hummed along with the 'Twinkle twinkle little star' tune he was currently playing on the buzzer. "And a copy of Evita in the other. I'll sell pictures to the tabloids." He chuckled, highly amused.

Under the sound of the doorbell came that of footsteps marching towards the door, the deadbolt sliding open, then footsteps moving away once again. Meanwhile, the door stayed shut.

Dennis cocked his head in question and opened the door. He stepped inside and started to say something, when he heard Viggo talking to someone. He strained to listen and then decided a closer inspection was necessary. Instead of heading for the kitchen as was his usual, Dennis walked into the living room following the sound of Viggo's voice.

"... and I never meant it to come out like that, and I'm sorry. Christ, Karl_ I know I fucked up_ I know I was an asshole, okay? But it was an accident _ maybe accident's the wrong word, I don't know, but I never meant to disregard what you felt like that, I just wanted you to know that I value our friendship... hell, if we even have one at this point, it's been weeks, and you still won't return my calls, and I'm verging on turning into a fucking stalker at this point. I just ... I need to know that you're okay, and I need to tell you_ you, not your machine that I'm sorry. Please? Just..." Viggo paused and sighed. "Take care of yourself, Karl. Talk to you later. Bye." Viggo hung up the phone, paused a moment, and threw it across the room, not even flinching when it crashed into the wall

"Tossing electronics for distance, huh? One of the lesser known Olympic events." Dennis said.

"I'm not in the mood, Dennis," Viggo said, heading for the living room and pushing a pile of clothes off of a chair before flopping down in it.

"Hmmph." Dennis answered and went into the kitchen.
After a bit he came out carrying two cups. Sitting one down next to his silent friend, he settled himself onto the couch and took a sip. "Mmmm, why is it I make better coffee at your house than I do at my own? Hmmm?"

"Because the coffee I buy is fair trade and the coffee you buy is supermarket shit."

"Yeah that could be it. Also I notice you don't ever wash your coffee pot, where as I _ never a fan of botulism _ wash mine frequently. But I've heard that it can affect the flavor." He took a noisy sip of his coffee and smiled at Viggo.

Viggo shrugged, staring at his own cup of coffee. "What do you want, Dennis?"

A thousand smart answers flew through his mind, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was, "to find out what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I've been busy." Viggo kept his eyes averted, taking a drink.

"Uh huh, wow look at that will ya?" Dennis held his arm out in front of him palm up and hand quivering as it rose above his head.

Viggo looked up briefly, then back down again. "Dennis, I'm not sure I'm in the mood for you being you. What am I looking at?"

"That would be my bullshit meter, and it's registering off the fucking chart." Dennis grinned and chuckled at himself. "So, your Karl still pissed huh? Have you talked to him at all _ since the whole _ you know, wall thing?"

"It's really a good thing you find yourself amusing, Dennis. Takes the burden off the rest of us." Viggo slouched lower in the chair. "And he's not my Karl." he said, ignoring the twinge he felt from saying that. "And last time I talked about 'the wall thing', you got scared and took off. Hmm, there's an idea_ if I start graphically describing the last time Karl fucked me again, will you leave me alone?" Viggo said, his tone bitter.

"Hell I even find myself attractive at times." Dennis said and laughed. Ignoring the rest of what Viggo said and silently complimenting himself on not twitching at the visual. "So, he told you to fuck off, huh? Called you a right bastard, the whole thing?"

"No. He won't answer the phone. I haven't talked to him since I left New Zealand."

"You haven't heard hide nor hair of him in almost a month?"

Viggo shook his head.

"And you've called him? Left messages?"

"What do you think I was trying to do when you started up on the fucking doorbell," Viggo growled.

"Beep beep, back the truck up, I am a maestro on that doorbell." Dennis said and then got quiet for a minute. "So what's the problem? You're friends, it's no big deal _ you yourself said it was no big deal _ something that you could work around, right?"

"I already told you_ I haven't spoken to him in a month. How am I supposed to work around it if I can't even get him to talk to me!" Viggo vented, seriously tempted to send his coffee cup flying in the same manner as his phone.

"Why would you care if you talked to him or not?"

"Because he's my friend, Dennis_ Christ!" Viggo rolled his eyes.

"Viggo, you haven't returned any of my calls in the past month and look _ " Dennis gestured to himself. "I'm dressed, bathed. Up walking around, even came by to steal your stereo in case you had left town or dropped dead. And I haven't thrown my phone against any walls." He said with a smirk and leaned back.

"Yes, but you're annoying," Viggo said sullenly. "And I hate you."

"Well that's a given, but then I take it you don't hate your Karl?"

"Stop calling him that. It's not accurate."

"It's not accurate." Dennis said in a mimicking tone. "So what is he then?"

"He's my friend. He was my friend," Viggo corrected himself, getting up angrily. "I don't know, okay? Right now, he's nothing. Or I'm nothing to him. Christ, you're a nosy bastard."

Dennis watched as Viggo rose in agitation. "Well I'm your friend and I don't ever remember you getting this worked up about me. And you regularly call me names, defame me even. I should sue."

"It's different," Viggo growled.

"Yeah? How?"

"It just is, Dennis!" Viggo insisted, pacing across the room.

"How Viggo? What's the difference?" Dennis asked, voice raised.

"Well, for one thing, I really can't recall the last time you fucked me 'til I screamed," Viggo shot back.
Dennis blanched, opening and shutting his mouth a time or two. "Yeah well there is that. So he's just a decent piece of ass, fuck him then! There's a thousand more like him out on Hollywood boulevard. We'll get a limo, a bottle of Chivas and I'll pretend it's your birthday and get you a dark eyed pretty boy. How will that be? That make it all better?"

"Shut up_ fuck you! God DAMN you, that's not what I said_ or what I meant! He's not just a goddamned piece of ass!" Viggo yelled, clenching his fists tightly.

"Then what is he?! What's the difference?" Dennis yelled back.

"The difference is that I love him, you son of a fucking bitch!" Viggo hollered, so loud he almost couldn't hear his own words.

Dennis beamed with a big smile and clapped his hands delightedly. "Oh good, that's done. I'm hungry." He stood and turned toward the kitchen. "I'll see if there's anything to fix while you pack."

Viggo blinked, his brain not keeping up with the actions around him. "Wait_ what? Where am I going? What the hell?" he said, following after Dennis, his own words still not quite sinking in.

Dennis walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, studying the contents. "Hmm? Oh, you're going to... where is it? Duck ass Europe or Down yonder Australia or where ever that guy that you love lives and I _ " He stopped and retrieved something from the refrigerator, standing and holding it aloft. "I am making mushroom omelets."

"Guy that I..." Viggo blinked. A few times. "Fuck."

Dennis looked at him and visibly shuddered. "I would imagine, but let's not talk about it around the food, okay. Now go pack. I'm going to make a mess that will need a cleaning crew and possibly a hazmat team to take care of."

Viggo nodded, walking out of the kitchen, and then coming back in before he'd gotten more then a few steps away. "Dennis_ I..." he started quietly.

Without looking up from the bowl he was happily cracking eggs into Dennis said, "Yeah I know, me too. But if you think there's gonna be any tattoos going on my ass you're crazy, Mortensen."

"Maybe not, but one of these days I might just have to grab you and plant a kiss right on that foul mouth of yours," Viggo said, cracking a grin before turning and bolting out of the kitchen.

As he picked shell fragments out of the bowl and flung them off his fingertips, Dennis mumbled. "As long as there's no walls involved, we'll be just fine there buddy." And then he broke out laughing.

*****

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If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Darknightjess and Linden Jay