Second Chances

Part 16

Posted: March 2004
Author: Larien Elengasse

*****

Pain and darkness was all he knew. How long he had been in the clutches of Morgoth and Sauron he had no way of knowing; time no longer existed for him. The pain he had felt when battling the Balrog was nothing compared to what he endured now. It was if he were being eaten alive, torn apart from the inside out with no hope of release, no end to the pain. Long had they harbored hate for him, and they exacted their vengeance with glee, their sickening voices sputtering the hated speech into his ears, their will raping his own without end, battering, taking, eating.

The darkness fell away as a bright tunnel of light appeared and voiceless words were spoken,

"Release him."

Angry growls and more pain followed, and the command echoed again.

"Release him or burn in the light for eternity!"

He was pulled from their clutches, the light blinding him after so long in the darkness, his screams given voice again as he was dragged from the void.

* * * *

He cried out as he sat up in bed, thrashing at the sheets that lay over his body. "Lá! Iquista!" he cried as he gasped for air.

He blinked as he looked around him, his heart racing and mind wheeling. The pain was gone, it was but a ghost of a memory now, and he remembered his surroundings. He was home; he was in Mandos' Halls. A shuddering sigh escaped him and he looked at his body… *his* body. He leapt from the bed and looked into the mirror, reaching out to touch his reflection.

Dark hair, gray eyes, his face, his body. It was over.

He fell to his knees in front of the mirror and wept tears of relief and joy. His trial was done, his penance fulfilled; now he would live out his life in Mandos' Halls in peace. With each moment that passed, the memory of what he endured faded.

He rose to his feet and slowly walked through the quiet halls. He remembered what had transpired the last time he had been there and he found the tapestry that contained the story of his beloved's life. He reached out and caressed Thranduil's cheek and hair, a loving smile curving his lips. "Poicaquen," he whispered. His other hand caressed the infant image of Legolas as he rested in his Ada's arms. "I will miss you, melda," he whispered as his gaze settled upon Thranduil's image.

"You could have had him again."

He spun around and came face to face with Mandos and he knelt before him. "My Lord," he said softly. "I am ever grateful to you for your mercy and kindness."

"Rise, Fëandro," Mandos said softly. "You could have been with him again, all you had to do was give the Dark One what he wanted. You would have kept Legolas' body and been able to return to Thranduil."

"I could never," Fëanor whispered. "How could I do such a thing to one I love? I could never. I would never have been able to live with myself, knowing I hurt one I held dear. I could never have looked my love in the eyes knowing I had doomed his son to eternal torment."

"And now you are here, forever separated from him, with no chance of ever seeing him again. Was it worth it, Fëandro? Was it worth losing that which you held most dear?"

"Yes," Fëanor answered. "Knowing that Legolas will go on, that he will find love, and that Thranduil will have his son again was worth all I did and more." He sighed, "I can never repay what I have done, the lives I took and the pain I caused. What I have given was not nearly enough."

"But it was," Mandos answered. He turned to the side and held out his hand, beckoning Fëanor to walk down the hall.

Fëanor saw a tapestry hanging upon the wall; Vairë stood beside it, a smile gracing her fair face. In it, he saw a house upon a hill, overlooking the sea and surrounded by tall trees. Elflings ran and played upon the lawns, his sons sat around it with their lovers, some female, some male. He saw his own image upon the steps, his face bright with joy as he watched the elflings play. He turned and looked at Mandos and whispered, "You are releasing me? After all I have done?"

Mandos nodded and smiled, "It is precisely because of all you have done that you are released. Go, Fëandro, claim your new life and live in peace."

"Hantalë, hérunya," he whispered, and he reached out and touched his image upon the tapestry.

* * * *

Thranduil sat upright in his bed, his hand flying to his cheek where the skin was warm and tingled. "Fëandro…" he whispered. "Where have you been, melethen?" He sighed as he still felt the lingering touch of his beloved upon his face. "By Elbereth, I miss you so. I will never stop." He closed his eyes and laid back upon the bed, conjuring Fëanor's image in his mind. His hands slid down his abdomen, and he took his arousal in his hand, slowly stroking himself as he whispered words of love to the empty room. This was all he would have of love now, for no other would ever touch him again. He imagined Fëanor's hands and mouth roaming his body and he cried out as his release took him, leaving him feeling empty and bereft, alone in his bed. He slowly rose and cleaned himself of his guilty indulgence then returned to his bed and clasped a pillow to his chest and tried to dream of his lover.

* * * *

Legolas and Glorfindel spent glorious months together riding through the wilds of Ithilien before returning to Minas Tirith each night to make love in their bed. The night before Elrond's procession was to leave the White City, Legolas lay sprawled atop the body of his lover, his hands folded on the Elda's chest and his chin resting atop them.

Glorfindel combed his fingers through Legolas' hair and smiled. He would miss his beloved in the years to come, but years were short for the Eldar and that time would be nothing compared to the eternity they would have together. "I will miss you, melethen," he said softly. "But oaths are not to be broken."

"What was I thinking?" Legolas grumbled. "I have no desire now to climb through caves and traipse through Fangorn. I only want to collect my Adar and board the ship with you and Lord Elrond."

Glorfindel chuckled and wrapped his legs around his lover. "Such a petulant Prince you are. You promised the Dwarf and he has been a good and loyal friend. Beside, Elessar will need you in the years to come. His days are waning, he feels it as we both do."

Legolas nodded and sighed. "I know you speak the truth, seron vell. But it does not stop me from wanting to be with you."

"I know, melethron," Glorfindel replied. "We will have all of eternity together when you come to Valinor."

Legolas smiled weakly and nodded. "Alright, I will stop my selfish complaining and do what I promised to do. Estel has been a dear friend, as has Gimli." He smiled wantonly, "We still have until dawn, and you have not taken pleasure from me yet, at least not as I just did you."

Glorfindel laughed and pulled the Prince up to his lips. "I will need this time apart just to recover from you. I am far older than you, melethen."

Legolas laughed softly and brushed his lips against his lover's. "Then let me partake of your experience while I still may, maethoren vain."

"Mmm…" Glorfindel purred, "I think I can manage that."

He rolled over Legolas, covering his beloved's body with his own and made love to him throughout the night.

* * * *

Fëanor walked up the steps that lead to his home and smiled. Never in his dreams had he imagined he would walk the land of Aman again.

"Adar!"

He turned and saw the twins running toward him and he laughed as he held out his arms and caught both of them. "Amrod, Amras!" he breathed as he held his sons tight.

"We saw you on the road, we could hardly believe it," Amrod laughed.

"'Tis so good to see you again, Adar," Amras answered. "Caranthir has gone to fetch Maedhros and Maglor. We are all together again, almost," he said quietly.

Fëanor nodded and pressed a kiss to his son's head. "I have missed you, all of you," he answered. "Come, let us see what is left of the old home, shall we?" He led his sons inside their old house he had shared with his father.

* * * *

Thranduil sat upon his throne in the empty throne room; the last of his subjects had departed for the Havens. He held in his hand a letter from Celeborn. The elf lord was also leaving, and asked him to accompany him. After Celeborn's departure, there would be none of the Eldar left in Middle Earth, they were the last to sail. In all the long years, he had never received word from Legolas, and had resigned himself to accepting that his son had died; though in his heart he could never really believe it. He did not know of the rogue band of orcs that had attacked a lone Rohirrim along the banks of the Anduin, nor did he know of the Woodmen who rode to the soldier's aid, but too late. The letter the Rohirrim had carried was written in a script the Woodmen could not decipher and was faded and marred by blood and water, so it was discarded upon a fire.

He had waited as long as he could; if he did not leave with Celeborn, he would never leave. He would be destined to walk the earth and fade with the trees. He rose from his throne and gathered his few belongings. He called to his horse and rode West over the mountains toward Imladris.

* * * *

Legolas and Gimli galloped up the elf path the Mirkwood Elves had once used to traverse the forest. The Dwarf grumbled behind him as he bounced along.

"Could we not walk a spell? I will be lucky to have any teeth left after this journey."

"No, we cannot walk," Legolas answered. "I am far too late in returning home as it is."

They galloped up the path and came to a halt at the bridge that led to the Caves of Thranduil and Legolas pulled the great iron gates open. "This is strange," he said quietly as they walked through the empty halls. "There is no one here." He began to jog down the pathways toward the throne room.

"Adar!" he called as he pushed the massive doors open and found the throne room deserted. His voice echoed throughout the halls as he began to feel a choking fear overtake him. "No," he whispered. "I am too late, he has gone without me!"

"Surely he would have left a note," Gimli huffed as he chased Legolas down the long corridors.

Legolas stopped and turned to his friend and answered, "Unless word never reached him. What if he thinks I am dead?"

Gimli scratched his beard and questioned. "Where would he go from here? If that was the case?"

"To the Havens," Legolas answered. "The last ship is to sail soon, he must be traveling with Lord Celeborn, if he did not leave sooner."

"Well another long ride then," the Dwarf grumbled. "I don't suppose we will have time to stop and see the wee ones on the way."

Legolas flopped down upon the floor and placed his head in his hands. "I never should have tarried so long, I should have come home sooner."

Gimli patted his friend on the shoulder. "I am sorry, laddie, this is my fault."

"No," Legolas answered softly. "It is mine. Do not fret, mellonen, the blame lies with me."

"Let us find some food, shall we? We can set out again in the morning." Gimli tugged upon his arm and Legolas rose to his feet and lead him to the kitchens to see if anything had been left behind.

Lá! Iquista! = No! Please! (Quenya)
Poicaquen = pure one (Quenya)
Melda = my love (Quenya)
Hantalë, hérunya = Thank you, my Lord (Quenya)
Melethen = my love (Sindarin)
Seron vell = dear lover (Sindarin)
Melethron = lover (Sindarin)
Maethoren vain = my beautiful warrior
Mellonen = my friend

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