Second Chances

Part 9

Posted: March 2004
Author: Larien Elengasse

*****

Legolas closed the door brusquely and leaned against it, the tears that had threatened to choke and blind him began to flow freely. He slid down the length of the door until he sat crumpled at its foot, and he wrapped his arms around his knees and sobbed like an elfling. A great hole in his chest left him feeling empty and bereft of comfort, as he wadded his tunic in his fist. He could still smell Glorfindel, still taste him, and still hear his melodious voice echoing in his ears.

**Why did you run, Greenleaf?** Fëanor's voice echoed in his mind.

Legolas answered without words, **I cannot, Fëandro, I cannot partake of what you yearn for every moment. You try to hide it but you cannot, I feel it, the suffocating, consuming ache you have for my father, and I know he feels the same for you.**

**Our pain need not be yours, Legolas. You are innocent in all that has come to pass, you should not suffer for events beyond your control,** Fëanor answered. **You say I cannot hide what I feel from you. Nor can you hide what you feel from me. You love Glorfindel, and Glorfindel loves you. This is foolish, Greenleaf, to deny yourself happiness because of your father and me. Your suffering does not lessen our burden.**

"No more," Legolas croaked out between sobs. "I cannot think on this any longer. Please, Fëandro, I beg you."

**Very well, Greenleaf,** Fëanor answered, and he faded back into Legolas' unconscious.

* * * *

Erestor encountered Glorfindel in the corridor. He placed his hand over his heart as he saw the pained look in Glorfindel's eye. "Glorfindel," he said quietly, "What has happened?"

Glorfindel answered quietly, "I have lost him, Erestor. I pushed too hard, too fast, and I have lost him."

Erestor took his friend by the elbow and led him to his chamber. Upon closing the door behind him, he turned to Glorfindel. "Tell me what has happened, mellonen. Tell me everything."

Glorfindel sat in a large chair by the hearth and relayed his tale to Erestor. He told him of the kiss, of Legolas' initial response, then of the Prince pulling away from him in an obviously distressed state. "I should never have assumed he would feel the same, I…"

Erestor shook his head and held up his hand. "Nay, mellonen. There is no blame to be had here. There is more to what occurred than you know, Glorfindel." The Elda looked at him in confusion and he continued, "Legolas is unusual for more reasons than you know. Tell me, have you not sensed something different about him? Is he not different from how you remember him?"

Glorfindel reflected on his moments alone with Legolas in Imladris and compared those to his memory of him in Mandos' Halls. He looked up into Erestor's eyes and answered, "Yes. However, I thought perhaps my memory was faulty, or his experiences in this life changed him somewhat. He is very much the same, Erestor. He is kind, honest, loving, brave, yet there is a fire inside him that was not there before, an intensity that I had not sensed in Mandos' Halls."

Erestor nodded. "I have seen it as well, mellon, and I have seen it before in one other."

Glorfindel furrowed his brow and leaned forward in his chair. "What do you mean, Erestor? What are you trying to tell me?"

Erestor took a deep breath and continued, "You know how he came to be, yes?"

Glorfindel nodded. "Aye, I know how spirits come to this world when they are born. What of it?"

Erestor placed his hands on the arms of his chair and continued, "When he reached out and touched the tapestry that held his life, he was not alone."

Glorfindel's eyes widened and he sat back in his chair. "What are you saying, Erestor? That his body is inhabited by more than one spirit?"

Erestor nodded. "That is exactly what I am saying, mellonen. And the other that co-exists with him is formidable. I know that one well."

Glorfindel swallowed the rapidly growing lump in his throat. "Who is it, Erestor? You must tell me."

Erestor closed his eyes and answered quietly, "Fëanor." Glorfindel closed his eyes and sighed. Erestor leaned forward and relayed the tale of Fëanor's coming to be in Legolas' body, and of the love the Noldo had shared with Thranduil in Mandos' Halls. A single tear fell from Glorfindel's eye as Erestor told the sad tale, and he mourned the burden his young love had been carrying all his life. Erestor reached out and touched Glorfindel's knee, and the Elda opened his eyes. Erestor continued very quietly, "So you see, Glorfindel, Legolas did not run from you because he did not want you. He ran from you because of the grief he feels for his father and for the one who lives inside him."

Glorfindel shook his head and answered quietly. "How do you know this, mellonen?"

Erestor sat back in his chair and answered, "Some I learned on my own, some Legolas confided in me, and some from Master Elrond."

Glorfindel answered, "I wish he could have told me. I wish he could have confided in me."

Erestor smiled gently and answered, "He wanted to, Glorfindel, but he was afraid. He was afraid you would think him mad. I assured him you would not, but that assurance was not enough."

Glorfindel rose from his chair and started for the door. "I must speak with him, I must tell him how I feel."

Erestor stood and called after him. "Good luck, mellonen!"

Glorfindel was gone in a flourish as the door closed behind him.

* * * *

Glorfindel stood outside the prince's door, his hand resting upon the smooth wood as he steeled himself for what he was about to say. He would not stand by and let this happen, he would not lose his love again. He lifted his hand to knock when the door opened, and he looked into the sad eyes of his love. "Legolas, melethen," he whispered.

Legolas smiled sadly and opened the door, stepping aside and inviting the warrior in. Glorfindel crossed the threshold and looked about the dimly lit room. He turned and looked at Legolas, who stood before him dressed in a thin, silken sleeping gown, his loose hair falling around his face like flaxen silk.

Legolas began quietly, "Forgive me for leaving you as I did, Glorfindel. You must think me a fool."

Glorfindel shook his head slowly and answered, "Nay, I think nothing of the sort. I have been to see Erestor, I know why you ran as you did."

Legolas turned his face away. "I cannot blame you for wanting nothing further to do with me, I am an aberration." Glorfindel reached out and turned Legolas chin so that their eyes met once again as the prince continued, "But I am not ashamed of who and what I am. I…"

Glorfindel placed his fingers upon Legolas' lips and answered, "Nor should you be, melethen. I love you for who you are, Legolas, all of who you are. This changes nothing for me."

Legolas looked at his beautiful friend and whispered, "Truly?"

Glorfindel smiled gently and nodded. "Truly." He caressed Legolas' face and spoke very softly, "I will not say I understand why this has came to be. Nevertheless, if there were no purpose then Mandos would not have allowed it. Fëanor is meant to be here with you, pen-velui, for reasons neither of us can know."

Legolas nodded, his eyes and smile brightening. "I would like to believe that we are meant to help one another. He craves redemption; he greatly wishes to atone for his rash deeds in his life. I would like to think I am meant to help him achieve that in someway. He has saved my life on many occasions, Glorfindel. Had he not been with me, I would not be here before you now."

Glorfindel held Legolas' face in his hands and answered, "Then I am grateful to him for that."

Legolas leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Glorfindel's waist, pressing his face into the Elda's shoulder. "Hannon le, Glorfindel, for your kindness and understanding."

Glorfindel wrapped his arms around Legolas and cradled his head against his shoulder. "Ai, ernil vain, you have stolen my heart."

Legolas pulled back and looked up into Glorfindel's eyes. "And you hold mine as well, hîren."

Glorfindel leaned down and caressed Legolas' lips with his own. "Would it be permissible for me to kiss you, ernilen?"

Legolas felt his heart race as he whispered against Glorfindel's mouth, "Yes…"

He moaned quietly as he felt the Elda's lips descend upon his own, and he opened his mouth to his gently questing tongue. Glorfindel held him gently as he tasted of him, and Legolas entwined his long fingers in the Noldo's hair. He rose on the balls of his bare feet to meet the taller elf's questing tongue and arched against him as he felt Glorfindel's hands slide down to the hollow of his back.

As they broke their kiss, Legolas' head was swimming, hundreds of sensations flooding his mind and body at once. Their mouths hovered near one another, Glorfindel still holding his lithe form against his own more powerful one, the Elda's sweet breath caressing his lips.

"I want to do this," Legolas whispered, "but it is all so strange to me. He feels everything I feel, we cannot be separate, we cannot be…"

"Sssh, ernilen," Glorfindel whispered. "I will go no further than you are able to go, I will do nothing you do not want me to do." He brushed his lips against Legolas' and continued, "Do you trust me?"

Legolas nodded slowly and whispered, "Yes, I do trust you. But I do not know what will happen, I do not know…"

Glorfindel placed his fingers against Legolas' lips and smiled. "Have no fear, pen-neth. All you have to do is tell me to stop, and I will, I promise you that."

Legolas nodded and answered, "Very well."

Glorfindel's fingers traced over Legolas' face as he whispered, "You say he feels what you do. Does he feel this?"

Legolas nodded and whispered breathlessly, "Yes…"

Glorfindel slid his left hand further down Legolas' back, gently cupping his buttocks as he continued, "And does he like it?"

"Yes…" came Legolas' breathless reply.

"Do you?" Glorfindel purred.

"Oh yes…" Legolas whispered.

Glorfindel could feel his love's desire manifest, his burgeoning arousal pressing into his thigh. His own strained against the silk of his loincloth as he held the prince's yielding form in his arms, and gazed into his face as it was transformed by passion. He watched Legolas' skin flush and his eyelids flutter, his slightly swollen lips part as he sighed. "Nag-bain, pen-buig," he whispered huskily.

He felt Legolas tense for a moment and he whispered again, "What is it melethen?"

Legolas responded hoarsely, "That is what he called my father, pure one, poicaquen…"

"Poicaquen," Glorfindel whispered. "He loves your father, yes?"

Legolas nodded, a tear threatening to fall. "Yes, very much so."

"As I love you, ernilen," Glorfindel answered.

"And I love you, Glorfindel," Legolas replied.

Glorfindel released his love and took him by the hand. "Come, melethen, let me hold you in my arms while you take your rest."

Legolas looked into the Elda's eyes and frowned. "But, I thought…"

Glorfindel chuckled softly and tugged upon his hand, "We do not have to stop if you do not wish it, nor is there a need to hurry."

Legolas smiled and followed his beloved to the bed, sitting on the edge as he watched Glorfindel slowly remove his clothes. First, the Elda removed his shoes, and then he began opening the clasps on his robe. Legolas watched as Glorfindel's alabaster skin and muscled body was slowly revealed to his now hungry eyes. He felt the insistent pull in his loins, the heavy pounding of his heart, and heard the rasping of his own breath. Glorfindel stood before him in only a loincloth, and never had he seen anything more beautiful in his life.

He watched as Glorfindel knelt before him and placed his hands upon his knees, parting his legs and coming to rest in between them.

"My braids, will you take them down for me?" The Elda asked softly.

Legolas nodded and raised his trembling hands to Glorfindel's hair, gently removing the clips and shaking the braids free. He combed through the Noldo's golden locks with his fingers, astonished at the weight and feel of it in his hands. His hands moved to Glorfindel's shoulders, coming to rest upon his warm, soft skin. "Melin le, Glorfindel," he said quietly.

"Melin le, Legolas," Glorfindel replied. He took the prince's face in his hands and kissed him thoroughly, slowly sweeping his tongue over the roof of his mouth and smiling as he felt Legolas' tongue curl against his own. He deepened the kiss, his hands sliding into Legolas' hair as he leaned closer. He could taste of his beloved forever, so sweet, so soft, and so full of love was their kiss. His hands made their way down Legolas' back, sliding across silk and firm muscle. He struggled to retain control of his rapidly building desire, to resist the urge to press his love to the bed and make love to him.

They separated, breaking their kiss and each gasping for air, but his mouth did not leave his love. His lips made their way from Legolas mouth to his ear, gently caressing the curve before moving to suckle on the point.

A soft whimpering cry escaped Legolas' lips as he clutched at Glorfindel's shoulders, his length beginning to pulsate against his thigh. The soft shifting of his robe was maddening against his heated length, and the Elda's lips were causing fire to roar through his veins. It was too much, too intense; he felt everything two-fold; he felt his own reaction and he felt those of the other within him.

Glorfindel felt the apprehension in his lover's body and he pulled away, caressing Legolas' face in his hands. "Come, melethen," he said softly. "Let me hold you in your bed awhile."

Legolas was reeling; he knew his aroused state was evident. He felt the heat in his face, the sheen of sweat that had begun to bead upon his skin and most of all, he felt the rigid, moist heat of his sex enveloped in his silk robe. He looked into Glorfindel's deep blue eyes and nodded. He stood as his lover rose from the floor and he slid beneath the blankets, holding them up as the Elda slid in next to him.

Glorfindel whispered softly into his ear, "I will not deny that there is nothing I want more than to make love to you, Legolas. But I can feel that we move too fast, I sense the apprehension inside you; I would not take you further than you are willing to go."

"I want you, Glorfindel," Legolas replied quietly, "but this is all so overwhelming, I feel everything two-fold, I…"

Glorfindel gently interrupted him, "Peace, ernilen. We have an eternity to be together, we will find the best way to show one another the depth of our love."

Legolas nodded and whispered, "Hannon le, Glorfindel."

"Sleep, melethen," Glorfindel murmured, "I will be here when you wake."

Mellonen = my friend
Melethen = my love
Pen-velui = lovely one
Hannon le = Thank thee
Ernil vain = fair prince
Hîren = my lord
Ernilen = my prince
Pen-neth = young one
Nag-bain = you are beautiful
Pen-buig = pure one
Poicaquen = pure one (Quenya)
Melin le = I love thee

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