Resurrection 27

Resurrection

Part 27

Posted: December 29, 2006
Title: Resurrection
Author: Larien Elengasse

Summary: Lindir realizes the truth and accepts a lie; Gildor worries about Glorfindel; and Erestor offers an apology.

*****

Lindir lay on his side, his gaze focused on the softly billowing curtains that covered his windows. Glorfindel was curled against him in a comforting and protective embrace. The lovemaking had been physically satisfying, there was no doubt of that, but now he was left facing the hollow truth that the one he loved would always love another more. The overwhelming flow of emotion that used to be a part of their coupling was no longer present. Glorfindel was guarded in that respect and so was he, for that matter. He did not want to see into his lover’s heart, not any more. He wondered if it would always be this way, or if the Elda would eventually love him the way he hoped and wished he would.

He knew deep down that Erestor felt the same way about Glorfindel, though his friend did his very best to hide it, and Lindir wondered if Gildor knew or suspected the truth. One thing he did know for certain about his good friend Erestor: he was loyal above all other things. Erestor would never leave Gildor, not ever.

Glorfindel sighed and stirred, molding his perfect body against Lindir’s back. He still loved the way the Elda felt against him, however, it also reminded him of what he had lost. He had lost an illusion; he knew that now. Given the choice between cold reality and beautiful lies, he would take the lies any day.

He thought about Thranduil, about how kind the prince was, and how clearly interested the Sinda was in him. He liked Thranduil, he genuinely did. The young prince’s unguarded honesty was refreshing given what he had been through these past months. He was tired of secrets and carefully avoided truths; the fact was that he was tired, period.

As Glorfindel stirred against him, he realized one thing about himself: he was not nearly as principled or strong as he would have once believed. He rolled over in his lover’s embrace and reached out, gently touching the warrior’s face. Glorfindel was still the most beautiful elf he had ever seen, and despite the fact that the Elda had kept the truth of his heart from him, he was still kind, gentle, and loving.

Their brief separation had been difficult for them both and where it would lead now Lindir did not know, though what he found was that it was easy to accept this reunion – far easier than living the truth. Principle made a cold bedfellow.

“Sparrow,” Glorfindel whispered.

“Yes,” Lindir replied.

“I love you.”

“And I love you,” Lindir answered. “I have not stopped.”

Glorfindel opened his eyes. “Is it possible that you might forgive me for what I have done?”

“Let us not talk about that,” Lindir murmured, tucking his head beneath Glorfindel’s chin and wrapping his arms about the Elda’s waist.

There was a moment of strangely comforting silence, and then Lindir spoke. “When Gildor returned from the war and it looked as if he would die, Erestor said something to you. He said you brought me back. What did he mean?”

Glorfindel softly drew small circles on his lover’s back as he remembered that awful day. “I struck a bargain,” he answered quietly.

“What sort of bargain, and with whom?” Lindir asked.

“With Namó,” Glorfindel replied. “I asked him to release you to me, to let you come back to your body so that we could be together.”

Lindir blinked and held his breath for a second. “What was the price?” he finally whispered.

“Your life for another’s in the future. He said that one day someone else I cared for would fall, and he would not be able to release that fëa to me. He said he could only do it once.”

Lindir pulled back and looked into Glorfindel’s eyes. “And you chose me? Glorfindel, what if it is Elrond, or Gildor, or Erestor?”

Glorfindel smiled sadly. “How am I to choose which life is more valuable? How can one calculate the value of a life? All I knew was that I could not lose you – that I needed you back. I could not let you go.”

“I hope it is a decision that you never regret,” Lindir murmured.

“Never, sparrow; I will never regret it.”

Glorfindel slid his hand behind Lindir’s neck and drew him into a kiss.

* * * *

Erestor sighed; his fingers slowly released the sheets as warmth flooded his limbs. He smiled lazily and slowly blinked as Gildor’s lips caressed his sweat-slicked back. He trembled then laughed softly as his lover’s fingertips trailed down his sides with a whisper-soft touch. “That tickles,” he murmured, his voice partially muffled by the pillow.

“Mmm… I know,” Gildor purred, his mouth following one of his hands and leaving a wet trail down Erestor’s left side.

“We are a mess.”

“Yes, we are, my love. A sweaty, sticky, delicious mess.”

Erestor chuckled. “You have made me late for my duties again.”

“It was my pleasure, if not my duty,” Gildor replied huskily.

“And you? What shall you do this day, my wicked lover?” He moaned softly as his lover’s length slipped from his body.

“I shall take you into the bath, make sure you are presentable for your duties this day, take Gwathel out for a long walk, and then report to Glorfindel.”

“Are you sure you are ready?”

“Erestor.”

“I know, I am sorry. I only worry out of love.”

Gildor smiled. “I know, and you are dear to do so, but I would prefer it if you expended your energy in other ways.”

“Such as?” Erestor whispered as Gildor rose from his back and rolled him over.

“I think Glorfindel needs your help,” Gildor answered, coming to rest between Erestor’s legs and propping himself up on his elbows.

Erestor frowned. “What do you mean?”

Gildor caressed Erestor’s face with the backs of his hands. “The ending of his relationship with Lindir has wounded him. He needs someone to talk to.”

“Why do you not talk to him?”

“Because, I know not what to say about these things. I have never been good at counseling others in matters of the heart.” Gildor raised an eyebrow. “Are the two of you quarreling?”

“No… not at all.”

“Then I think you should talk to him, and to Lindir for that matter.”

Erestor closed his eyes. “I am not so sure that is a good idea. Thranduil and Lindir have become close friends. Would the prince not be a good confidant for Lindir?”

Gildor sighed. “I suppose so. But you must talk with Glorfindel, the two of you have always been close and he truly does need someone to confide in.”

“All right, I will do as you ask,” Erestor murmured.

Gildor took Erestor’s face in his hands. “Thank you, my love,” he answered softly before kissing his lover again. “Now, ‘tis time we departed the bed.” He rose and pulled Erestor with him, then entered the bathing chamber and prepared a warm bath.

* * * *

Erestor caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Glorfindel standing in the doorway of the library with Lindir. They were talking quietly, and then Glorfindel reached out and touched Lindir’s face, smiled, and drew the minstrel in for a soft kiss. As the Elda turned to walk away, Erestor quickly returned his attention to the ledger in front of him.

“I beg your pardon for being so late,” Lindir said quietly as he entered the office that he shared with Erestor.

“How is your leg?” Erestor asked, looking up from his work.

“Much better, thank you. It was foolish of me to overtax it so; I hope the prince has stopped blaming himself for my poor judgment.” Lindir took a seat on his side of the doublewide desk and retrieved the task list for the day.

“He was merely worried about you,” Erestor answered. “You two have grown quite close, yes?”

“We are friends, good friends, I hope.”

“He is very fond of you.”

“And I of him.”

“Would you like some tea? I was just preparing to hail Nessa for a fresh pot.”

“Yes, please.”

“Lindir?”

Lindir looked up at Erestor. “Yes?”

“I know that things have been . . . awkward as of late. I want you to know that I care deeply for you and I am most profoundly sorry for having caused you any pain.”

Lindir looked at Erestor thoughtfully for a moment; it was the first time they had spoken of what had happened between his lover and his good friend. “I know you would never willingly hurt me, or anyone else for that matter. Let us put it behind us, shall we?”

While Lindir’s words were kind, Erestor saw the pain in his eyes; he wondered if they would ever again have the easy rapport they once had. He nodded and rose from the desk, crossing the room and pulling a soft rope to hail the kitchen staff.

*****

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