Resurrection 16

Resurrection

Part 16

Posted: November 17, 2006
Title: Resurrection
Author: Larien Elengasse

Summary: Erestor makes a bold move, Glorfindel has regrets.

*****

They stood outside, basking in Ithil’s light and the cool night air. There was not a cloud in the sky, so moonbeams illuminated both the veranda and the gardens beyond. Gildor leaned casually against the stone railing, sipping his wine, and Erestor looked thoughtfully at him. The Noldo had always been a good friend, one who often lightened his too serious nature. However, Gildor was a bit of an enigma, and there were few in the Hidden Valley who knew much about him, save Glorfindel and Elrond.

What Erestor did know was Gildor’s family line, and that the warrior was born in Nargothrond, and was a young soldier when his father died. When Elrond came of age and chose to be counted amongst the kindred of the Eldar, the peredhel served Gil-galad, and Gildor became Elrond’s general. When Glorfindel returned, Gildor reluctantly surrendered his mantle as the leader of Elrond’s forces, but quickly understood that it was for the best. Glorfindel and Gildor had long been close friends, and had served together and fought side-by-side since Glorfindel’s return to Middle-earth. Other than this brief history, Erestor knew little about his good friend; these were just facts, they were not an understanding of who Gildor really was.

“Did you always want to be a warrior?” Erestor asked quietly.

Gildor turned his gaze from the stars to his companion. “I do not really know,” he said matter-of-factly. “I had little choice when I came of age. We lived in violent times, and anyone who was able to wield a sword or bow had to do so, to keep our home safe. I suppose it was expected of me, given that I was son to a lord. I happened to be good at it, so that was the path I took.”

“Had things been different, what path do you think you would have chosen?”

“Hmm… I do not know. Farmer, perhaps? Woodcarver? Horse trainer?”

Erestor grinned. “I cannot imagine you as a farmer, Gildor.”

Gildor chuckled. “I suppose that is a bit of a stretch.” He stepped closer to Erestor. “What about you? Are you doing what you have always wanted to do?”

“I am now,” Erestor replied, smiling at his friend.

Gildor smiled in return. “You are happy here, then?”

“Most happy,” Erestor answered.

“I am glad to hear it. I have been a little worried about you.”

“You have?” Erestor asked, leaning a little closer. “Why?”

“You seem lonely.”

“I am. And you? Are you lonely?”

“Sometimes,” Gildor responded. “But not right now.”

Erestor smiled. “Good. I really do enjoy your company, Gildor. You have been a very good friend and a great comfort to me.”

“I know that things have changed, Erestor. But that does not mean…”

Erestor placed his fingers upon Gildor’s lips to silence him. He was surprised by how soft they were. “Glorfindel and Lindir deserve to be happy, they are both good elves that deserve to be loved.” He slowly let his fingertips slip from Gildor’s lips.

“As are you, Erestor. I know of none who deserve to be loved more.”

“Perhaps I will be, one day.”

“You are now,” Gildor answered softly. “You are very dear to me, Erestor.”

Erestor reached up and cupped Gildor’s cheek. “As you are dear to me, Gildor.” He gazed into Gildor’s eyes, imagining he saw a silent invitation. ‘Would it really be so difficult to love this brave elf in a deeper way?’ he questioned himself. He already trusted him and loved him dearly as a friend. He leaned in and slowly pressed his lips to Gildor’s own.

Gildor was caught aback by the kiss; it was not what he had expected. He loved Erestor greatly, as if they were of the same blood, but he had not seriously considered his friend to be a romantic prospect. He did find Erestor to be most beautiful, and the usually somber elf made him laugh from time to time. Until recently, he had been quite happy with his unattached state, at least most of the time; but now he yearned for intimate company. It was true that Erestor was alluring in an austere, almost unattainable way; he was the sort of elf that was usually admired from afar. As Gildor’s hands moved to his friend’s shoulders and he slowly parted his lips, he felt Erestor’s hands move into his hair, and his friend’s tongue slip into his mouth.

Erestor moaned into the kiss and pressed himself closer to Gildor. Months of loneliness and yearning came to a head in that moment. He needed to be touched, he needed to be held, more than anything. “Please, Gildor,” he whispered. “I need this, I need you.”

Gildor could think of no better answer than to kiss his friend again, this time taking control.

* * * *

Glorfindel watched from just inside the doorway as his two dear friends embraced and kissed. He had wondered how long it would be before it happened. They seemed like a natural pair, so comfortable with one another and so alike in many ways. The only problem was they were too alike; they were both too guarded. He could not deny the feeling of jealousy that pricked his heart upon seeing Erestor yield to Gildor’s amorous advance, the way his raven arched into Gildor’s arms, the soft, moans that floated between them. He knew what lay ahead for Erestor, Gildor was a more than capable lover, and he wondered if Erestor would be more willing to trust Gildor than he had been willing to trust him.

Lindir watched Glorfindel as his lover stood near the doorway. It did not take much effort on his part to imagine what Glorfindel was looking at. This was dangerous ground, trying to pretend that nothing was different when in truth everything was. Torn between moving to touch his lover and leaving him to his silent vigil, Lindir stood quietly in the shadows, fear slowly creeping into his heart. He was afraid of losing Glorfindel; the Elda was the only elf he had ever loved.

Glorfindel felt Lindir’s gaze upon him and he closed his eyes. Why did he stand here peering through the doorway at Erestor and Gildor when his beautiful, kind, and selfless lover stood behind him, silently calling him back? ‘Do not lose what you have for a pointless wish or for what might have been,’ he inwardly chastised himself. Turning, he gazed lovingly upon his sparrow, so pale and radiant, even when he stood in the shadows. Without a word, he strode forward, swept Lindir into his arms and kissed him soundly, rendering the minstrel breathless.

“My sparrow,” he murmured against Lindir’s parted lips. “I love you so…”

Lindir wrapped his long arms around Glorfindel’s broad shoulders. “And I love you, Glorfindel,” he whispered. “There is nothing I would not do to prove that to you.”

Glorfindel smiled, gently nuzzling Lindir’s soft mouth. “You need not prove it, sparrow. I feel it.” He caressed Lindir’s hair as he gazed into his lover’s eyes. “I want to take you upstairs, to our bed,” he whispered.

“Mmm…” Lindir purred. “I yet have songs to sing, my love.”

“As much as I adore listening to you sing, I think songs best sung in private are my favorites.”

Lindir smiled. “You are wicked, Glorfindel.”

“I am for you, Lindir.”

Lindir laughed softly as he twined a lock of Glorfindel’s golden hair around his finger. The minstrel’s laughter always caused Glorfindel’s heart to skip a beat.

“See?” Glorfindel crooned as he pressed Lindir into the wall. “Even your laughter lights a fire deep inside me.”

Lindir gasped quietly as the warrior pressed his burgeoning length into his hip. “It will be difficult to focus knowing I am leaving you so wanting.”

“Ah, but the anticipation will make the joining so much more rich.”

Lindir heard the musicians begin to tune their instruments. “Will you sit where I can see you?” he whispered.

“Anything for you, sparrow,” Glorfindel murmured before grasping Lindir’s jaw and pressing a possessive kiss upon his lips. He slowly released Lindir, watching with heavy-lidded eyes as his lover slipped away toward the Hall of Fire. “Yes,” he murmured to himself. “What I have is far more precious than what I do not.” Then he slowly followed his lover back to the celebration.

* * * *

“Gods, Gildor,” Erestor breathed as the warrior released his mouth. He clutched his friend’s robe tightly in his fist. “You feel so good. It has been so long since anyone has touched me this way…”

“Too long,” Gildor murmured. “One as passionate as you should never be left wanting, Erestor.”

Erestor took Gildor’s face in his hands. “I want this, more than you can imagine, but I am afraid.”

Gildor looked at Erestor thoughtfully. They both had good reason to be afraid; this was no casual encounter – they knew one another far too well for that. “Our friendship is precious to me, Erestor, you know that.”

“I do, and I feel the same way, which is why I am so fearful. I could not bear losing it.”

Gildor smiled. “I love you, Erestor, I will always love you, no matter what you do, no matter what you say. Where ever this night may lead us, you can always count on me being your friend.”

Erestor ran his thumb across Gildor’s lips. Glorfindel had said the same thing and look what had happened. Of course, he knew that was unfair; he had done a masterful job at pushing the Elda away, particularly after Galdor’s arrival. Glorfindel was in Lindir’s arms because he had turned him away from his own. He resolved to not make that mistake again. “And I will always be your friend, Gildor, no matter what.” He smiled and brushed his lips over the curve of the warrior’s ear. “Make love to me,” he whispered.

Gildor’s grip tightened on Erestor. He was relieved to hear the request, for now that he held Erestor in this way, he found that he wanted him badly. “Aye, I will,” he murmured, then kissed Erestor again before leading him into the Last Homely House.

* * * *

Glorfindel sat in tall chair near Elrond, listening to his lover’s lilting voice fill the Hall of Fire; it was something he would never tire of hearing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gildor and Erestor skirt the edge of the room and leave through the large double doors, walking toward the staircase. ‘Trust him, Erestor,’ he thought to himself. ‘He will make you happy if you let him.’ Though he turned his head slightly for just a moment, he quickly returned his gaze to his lover, whose bright eyes and gentle smile warmed his heart.

*****

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