Part 13

Posted: December 2003
Author: Larien Elengasse

*~*

Third Age, March 15, 2953, Last Homely House, Imladris

Elrohir watched the sun set in the west from the balcony outside his room. He closed his eyes and sighed as he thought on the argument he had with Haldir earlier that day. He shook his head slowly, his still damp hair gently swaying around his face. He hadn't meant to lose his temper, but Haldir's accusations had been the crowning blow in an already strained relationship. He felt he had walked on eggshells around the marchwarden for months, patiently encouraging his lover to come around and open up, to tell him what it was that plagued his heart and his mind. He could try no more. How could he change who Haldir was? And in the end, he realized he did not want to. He loved Haldir's understated confidence, the air of self-assurance that so many mistook as arrogance. But it was that same aloofness that he loved so much that drove a wedge between them. He reached out time and again, and his proffered hand was accepted, but only partially. Haldir always held back part of himself, always kept part of himself safely locked away from any and all who would wish to know it.

"I cannot be a nursemaid to an injured fëa…" he whispered to himself. "I cannot sacrifice who I am to make another happy."

He felt he was losing touch with who he really was, a strong warrior, a proud and brave son of Elrond Peredhil. He smiled as he felt his brother's strong hands on his shoulders and he swung his legs over the balcony railing, turning to meet Elladan's wise gaze.

"My gwanur is troubled," Elladan spoke softly.

Elrohir smiled and brought Elladan's hand to his cheek, pressing his face against it. "You always know when I need you, gwanur."

Elladan smiled gently and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his brother's forehead. "How could I not?" he answered lovingly. "You and I are as one, hearts and minds joined."

Elrohir smiled and leaned forward pressing his face to his brother's chest and wrapping his arms around Elladan's waist. He sighed as he felt Elladan's hands caress his hair, as they had done countless times in their lives. "Amin mela lle, gwanur," he whispered.

"Amin mela lle, Elrohir," Elladan answered. "Now tell your gwanur einior (elder brother) what troubles you."

Elrohir took a deep breath and sat up, taking Elladan's hands in his own as he watched his brother kneel before him. "It is Haldir," he answered softly. "I have tried, Elladan. I have tried to reach him, to touch his heart and show him love. But, he keeps it locked away from me, and the harder I try, the more he pushes me away. Perhaps I should give up, perhaps I was wrong about him." He cast his gaze to the floor.

Elladan smiled and lifted Elrohir's chin. "Sometimes," he answered gently, "if one stops chasing the thing one wants, one finds it in the end." He caressed Elrohir's cheek. "Remember when Asfaloth was a foal and you were in charge of caring for him?"

Elrohir smiled and nodded. "Aye, he was a cantankerous little one. So proud, so haughty, so foolish." He chuckled. "I lost count of how many times he chased me out of the pen, how many times he sent me leaping from his stall when he would try to tell me who was the master."

Elladan laughed softly. "Remember when Glorfindel sent you to bring him in from pasture when he was but a yearling? Remember how long it took you to finally see that chasing him around was not going to succeed? I do. You chased him from dawn to midday. Finally, you sat down on a rock in exhaustion, tears streaming down your dirt stained cheeks. You told me you failed, that Asfaloth was smarter than you, that he hated you. Do you remember what I told you then?"

Elrohir smiled and nodded. "Aye, you said it was not that he was smarter than I was. You said it was that I was not listening, that I was demanding instead."

Elladan smiled and pressed his forehead into his brother's. "When you stopped demanding and started listening, what happened, gwanur?"

Elrohir smiled and cupped his brother's cheek. "He came to me. He nuzzled my cheek and nickered to me. He bonded with me, and has been at my beckon call ever since." He sighed. "I see what you are saying, Elladan. I have been trying so hard to get to Haldir, I have been demanding and not listening. I have been chasing him around the meadow."

Elladan nodded, their foreheads gently shifting against one another. "You must sit and wait, he will come. I have seen the way he looks at you, Elrohir. He loves you, and it scares him. Give him time, he will come around. He must learn in his own time that you are the one he has waited for, you are the one he needs to heal his wounded heart."

Elrohir leaned forward and embraced his brother turning his head and whispering in his ear, "I can always count on you to be my guardian, Elladan. You have been my teacher in all important lessons in life."

Elladan squeezed his twin to his chest and nuzzled his ear. "I will always be here for you, Elrohir, always. Without you, I am not whole."

Elrohir squeezed his brother back. "I will never leave you, Elladan. Never."

* * * *

Haldir stood in the shadows of the balcony of his room, watching the exchange between the twins. He knew he had injured Elrohir, and instead of going to him and trying to repair the hurt, he stood and watched Elladan do it for him. "What did you expect?" he chastised himself quietly. "Nothing separates them, it will always be Elladan that Elrohir turns to in times of need. I may have had the pleasure of his body, but his heart will always be elsewhere." **Do not be ridiculous!** his conscience chided. **Elrohir loves you, just because he loves his brother does not mean he does not love you. Do you not love Rúmil and Orophin? Would you not risk death to protect them?** "Ai! ‘Tis no matter, what is done is done. I will not grovel for anyone." **Then you will always be alone.** He grumbled to himself and turned back to his room to pack for his return to the Golden Wood.

* * * *

Elladan stood beside his brother as Elrohir knocked on their father's door. Elrond had summoned them to his quarters with some urgency.

"Come," their father's voice answered, and they entered the room, Elladan following Elrohir.

"You sent for us, Adar?" Elladan answered.

"Yes." Elrond motioned for them to sit across the desk from him. "I have received word that the Northern Dúnedain have come under attack. Bands of orcs are leading moonlight raids into their territories and attacking their women and children. They are sending for help."

"We will go straight away, Adar." Elrohir answered.

"I am sending Glorfindel and a small regiment with you. One orc was captured, and confessed from whence he came. These orcs are coming from Redhorn pass, my sons."

Twin sets of eyes narrowed in anger and Elladan growled. "We thought they were all gone, we swore to leave none alive."

Elrond placed his palms upon the top of his desk. "I know the need that drives you, my sons, but do not let that need drive you to your own destruction. You are my only sons, my pride, my heart. I could not bear to lose you; your mother would be destroyed if she thought you died trying to avenge her. Please, listen to Glorfindel, use your heads, and watch out for one another."

"We will, Adar. Have no fear, we will return to you." Elrohir answered. He and Elladan rose from their chair and bowed their heads in respect.

Elrond rose from his place behind his desk and came around it, taking his sons in his arms. "You will depart at first light. Glorfindel will be waiting for you in the barracks. Amin mela lle, my sons."

"We love you, Adar." They answered in unison.

Elrond released them and they departed his study, returning to their respective rooms to pack for their journey.

* * * *

Legolas lay on his back in his bedroll, watching Itihil's path across the night sky. Aragorn lay with his head on his chest, the young man's hands idly roaming over the suede of his doublet. "You did not say farewell, pen neth," he whispered.

Aragorn sighed and quietly answered, "I could not. I could not bring myself to say goodbye to any of them, especially Elladan. I wrote each of them a letter and instructed the chambermaids to deliver it to them when they turned down their beds tonight."

Legolas nodded and stroked Aragorn's hair. "Aye, ‘tis hard to say goodbye to one's home. I have done it often. I always hate leaving my father, but it is his wish that I find my own way in the world. He tells me that one day, I will play an important part in the future of Middle Earth; I only hope I can live up to what he believes I am capable of."

Aragorn sat up and looked down at his new lover. It was the first time that he had ever heard Legolas admit to being anything other than totally sure of himself. "You must love your father very much."

Legolas smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Aragorn's ear. "I do. My father is the center of my life. He has taught me all I know; he has made me who I am."

Aragorn smiled sadly and quietly answered, "I never knew my own father. He died when I was but a child. Lord Elrond has been my father in his stead."

Legolas smiled and pulled Aragorn's head to his chest, cradling it there. "Your father's blood is strong in your veins, Aragorn. Arathorn was a good man, a strong warrior, and would have been a good father, given the chance."

"You knew my father?" Aragorn questioned quietly.

"I met him once," Legolas answered. "He was travelling in the company of Elladan and Elrohir. Your foster brothers thought highly of him, and they held your mother in high esteem as well. Gilraen was a beautiful woman, and a brave one." He sighed. "I never knew my own mother, she died when I was but an elfling. I know what it is to grow up without having both parents. They would be proud of who you have become, Aragorn; be confident in that."

"I have yet to prove myself, Legolas. I have done nothing for them to be proud of," he answered quietly.

Legolas smiled and placed a soft kiss on the top of Aragorn's head. "You will, Son of Arathorn, trust me, you will."

*****

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