|Posted: February 3, 2012|
|Legolas stayed with me for the next couple of weeks. I set up my old room as a guest room and had him sleep in there. I loved having him with me. We always managed to find ourselves in deep conversations about our worlds and the lives we led. I constantly asked him about his original home, back when he was still young and everything was new to him. Greenwood sounded so wonderful. I don’t know what peaked my curiosity about that place. Maybe it was the way Legolas explained things. I could see it so clearly in my mind. It was as if I had been there before. I wish it still existed and I wondered where in my world such a place could even come close to the beauty of what he called Greenwood the Great. I imagined the Redwood Forests to be the closest to what he described. At night, I would lie in bed and imagine this ancient forest. I could just see Legolas exploring this land with his fellow elves, bows in hand and ready to protect his home from anyone who chose to trespass. My dreams were very vivid as long as Legolas was nearby.
And then one night, I dreamt that I was actually in this forest. I could smell the freshness of the evergreens. I could feel the moistness of the dew in the early morning. This would have been my favorite time of day there, when everything was peaceful and just rousing for the new day. I was sitting in a tree when I looked down and saw Legolas approaching. He looked very much the way he does now but there was an heir of youth about him. I knew he had not seen all the evil and destruction that he had told me about in stories. He was free from such visions yet. He looked up to where I sat and smiled.
“There you are, meleth nin. I hoped to have found you here. Come down and let me see you in all your beauty.” he cooed to me.
I jumped down and joined him on the forest floor. He took me into his strong arms and looked deep into my eyes. “And just where are you off to today?” I asked him.
“The King has plans to advance my training. I’m afraid I have to go away for a little while. I wanted to spend these last moments with you before I head off with the rest of my company tomorrow.” he said as he brushed a stray hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. His eyes came back to mine and I felt as though nothing else in my life mattered. I was willing to give up everything for him. I was in love with someone that would be with me forever. We were soul mates. Still, I couldn’t help but feel like I was breaking some kind of rules or laws or something. It must have showed because Legolas tilted my head up to meet his gaze. “There is something on your mind. I can sense it. Tell me meleth, what is wrong?”
“There is nothing wrong now that you are here. I just missed you is all.” I said and he leaned down and lightly kissed me.
We spent the better part of the day together in each other’s company. It was a beautiful day full of warm embraces and comforting kisses. We both needed to get back home before the evening meal. He stopped in front of me and pulled me close to him. “I wish I did not have to leave you. I find it unbearable when you are not with me. My soul aches for you.” he whispered in my ear.
It was at that moment that I decided that I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with Legolas. Something deep down told me this was not right but I ignored it. “Legolas, I have never felt so strongly about something before. I cannot keep this from you any longer.”
He looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes. “What is it?”
‘Legolas, I… I… love you. I think I have always loved you. I know it is not right. I have a path to follow and I must complete it. Since I have met you though, my mind wanders elsewhere. I want you in my life. I don’t want to travel this path alone, but to ask this of you would mean for you to sacrifice something great.”
“I have longed to hear you say this. I love you too.” Then he got down on one knee and pulled me down to sit on his leg. I giggled at how weightless I felt in his arms. This was definitely one of my better dreams. “I was going to wait until my training was done but I cannot wait any longer. I feel the pull of our souls every time you are near. I want to be with you for always and I understand what I will be sacrificing. It does not matter anymore. You are all that I care about now.” Legolas kissed me more passionately than ever before. When he released me, he looked into my eyes, straight into my soul. “Will you stay with me forever and bind your soul to mine? Tonight my love. Let us not wait another moment.”
In my dream, I was not sure what being bound meant but I figured it was like a marriage proposal. But in my heart, I had no doubt that I wanted this more than anything. I knew what we were about to do was a risk but at that moment, there was no other choice. Legolas loved me and I loved him. We would never love anyone else. We were already in too deep emotionally.
“Yes, Legolas. Yes, I will bind myself to you for all eternity.” I answered him and threw my arms around his neck. He took me in his arms and lifted me, spinning us around until we could not see straight. It was the happiest either one of us had ever been. If only it wasn’t just a dream. Still, a part of me felt like I was experiencing something from the past and I was along for the ride.
The scene jumped ahead and now it was nighttime in the forest. Legolas and I were to meet after the evening meal under the tree where we first met. From there, we would head to a place Legolas picked out, very secluded but under the stars where we would bind our souls as we made love for the first time. As I made my way to the tree, I suddenly felt lightheaded. My world began to spin and my head hurt. I found a log and sat down before I fell. I became even more confused and it scared me. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. Suddenly, my world went dark.
When I awoke, I was still in the forest but there was a bright light not far from where I lay. I wasn’t sure what was happening. My head was pounding and I was still slightly dizzy. Then I heard a voice. “Minaethiel.” it called.
I remember Legolas talking about her. She was his lost love. “Minaethiel, here.” someone called again. I looked towards the light and thought I saw a tall figure through the haze.
“Legolas?” I called. “Is that you?” I got up and walked towards the light. If it was Legolas I needed to find him. I was scared. I felt like I didn’t know where I was anymore. I felt like I was not supposed to be here and I was being confused for someone else.
“Minaethiel.” he called again in a long airy whisper. Why did he keep calling me by her name?
“Legolas, it’s me. Minaethiel is not here.” I looked around me. “What is happening to me?” I said as I felt a strong sensation to go into the light. I recalled the dream I had about the light coming from my room. I was afraid to go into it and had the same feeling now. Still, I could not ignore its call. I had to go. Slowly, I walked towards it. The figure I thought I saw continued to move away from me, further into the light.
I can’t say for sure what happened next, but it was like an out of body experience. I was walking but I could not control my legs. Someone else was making the decisions and I had no control. I looked down at my hands and they were not mine. The clothes I was wearing were not mine either. Nothing was right. Only my subconscious belonged to me and so I observed everything that happened next.
I walked reluctantly into the brightness of the shining light. I remember thinking about Legolas and wishing he could help me. The light called to me. “Come Minaethiel. Your time here is ended. You must come home now.”
“No. I have a job to do. I have been sent by the Valar.” I said, though it was not my voice.
“We are calling you home. You have broken the rules and let yourself become involved with one of the seers. You are merely a watcher for the Valar and we cannot nor will we bless such a union. You were sent for one purpose only, to observe and sail back to us when we called upon you. You do not have the right to give your soul away to another. We have called your soul back and now you must be exiled. You can no longer exist in an earthbound body. You must dwell with us until we see fit to send you back.”
“Please. Please don’t do this. I meant no disrespect. I cannot help that my heart yearns for Legolas. He is good. He is kind. He is the purest thing to the Valar that I have ever met. Won’t you see fit to let us be together? We love each other.” said the voice coming from my body.
I now understood what was going on. I was not myself. I was Minaethiel and this was what happened the day she disappeared.
“We have no choice. You must stay with us now. Legolas has his own path to follow.” said this Valar spirit. I was still confused as to what a Valar was.
“Then take me but do not punish Legolas. It was not his fault. I could have stopped him. I could have stayed away from him and then maybe he wouldn’t have fallen in love with me.” I begged.
“My child, Legolas’ heart was made up the moment he first laid eyes on you. He truly loves you for he had no choice. He sensed your importance, though he does not know it.” There was a moment of silence. “I’m afraid he cannot know what happens now. It will consume him. Fear not for Legolas is strong. He will accomplish everything he sets out to do. He will play an important role in the future of Men. This he must do or Middle Earth as you know it will not exist. My child, we wish this did not need to be done in such a way. We see the love you both have for each other. It is a beautiful thing, but it cannot happen. This is why we are calling you back to Valinor.”
I was crying now. Part of me was only going through the motions, but the other half was really and truly sad for Legolas. I remembered how happy he looked when I told him I loved him and would marry him. He would be devastated.
“Oh blessed Valar, won’t you find it in your hearts to one day let us be together again?” I asked.
There was silence for what seemed like forever before they spoke again. “You have softened our hearts, which is something that does not happen often. We cannot send you back as you are now and not for a very long time. However, we will keep a doorway open to this other world. One day, we will send your soul back. If Legolas remembers you throughout the years and can find you then you will be allowed this union. It will be a long time from now as this will be your penance. If Legolas remembers you and you him, then we will know it was truly meant to be. Only then will this doorway be closed and the two worlds permanently separated. Until then, the portals will remain open. Legolas and his kin will be responsible for them. It will be up to you to decide which side of the portal you will dwell on for once it is closed, it can never be opened again. Do you understand child?”
“Yes, oh yes. If it means I still have a chance of being with Legolas then I will accept my punishment gracefully and hope to see my love again someday.” I said. I walked into the light and let myself be carried away like a leaf in the wind. Legolas would never know what happened to me. I had to trust that he loved me enough to remember me and never stop searching for me.
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