The Song Of Sunset
Part 23 - Sacrifices
Posted: November 28, 2008
*****
Elrond could hear Thranduil and Glorfindel speaking in hushed voices outside the tent. He took a faltering step nearer the bed, tears flowing down his face as he saw the limp, shivering form before him. Erestor had become thinner; he had noticed it during the war. But the chief counsellor was usually in robes or armour that Elrond had failed to realize the actual extent of the gauntness. Now, clad in a simple black tunic and leggings, Erestor seemed ethereal and insubstantial in the flickering light of the single torch.
Elrond fell to his knees beside the mattress and clasped the unconscious elf’s hands in his and raised them to his lips, praying desperately to all the Valar he could think of. Erestor’s eyelids fluttered for a moment before the convulsions wracked his body again and he groaned in pain. The hands that Elrond held tightly were becoming colder as death raced through the limbs.
Elrond released Erestor’s hands and quickly peeled off his armour and clothes. With shaking hands, he drew a dagger from his discarded belt and pressed it to his wrist. Fresh blood spurted out. Blinking furiously to stop his tears, he took Erestor’s right wrist in his hand and made a cut in the pale, white skin. Blood trickled slowly. Elrond took a deep breath. If this worked, he would never be forgiven by Galadriel or Celeborn or their daughter, who was betrothed to him. Yet he found that he did not care. All he wanted was Erestor to live. He had loved the chief counsellor for nearly a thousand and eight hundred years from afar, watching him live with his bonded-mate. He could face that again, be content with their friendship alone. However furious Erestor would be, Elrond knew that with time, the chief-counsellor would forgive him. That was all that mattered to him.
Determinedly, he brought their wrists together saying in a clear, low voice, “May Eru bind me to you in blood forever. My blood is your blood”, he watched half-fascinated as his blood flowed into Erestor’s veins.
The sheer force and strength of the newly formed bond made him giddy and exhausted. He rested his head on the side of the raised mattress, and watched relieved as Erestor’s face regained some colour. He murmured a prayer of thanks to Eru and watched Erestor’s breathing become more regular. Now, it was time for the next part. Elrond shuddered. He did not have the courage to go on, but he knew that he would be too exhausted and unfocussed if he delayed this.
Gently, he ripped away Erestor’s tunic with one hand, leaving the bleeding wrist still joined with Erestor’s body. Trying to suppress a gasp of pleasure that shot through him as he drank in the sight of the pale torso before him, Elrond carefully slit through the ties of the leggings and peeled them down. He sighed bitterly as his eyes roved the prone body that he had tried to imagine thus so many sleepless nights. His wish had finally been granted, but at a terrible cost. He tied bandages on their bleeding wrists.
“Elrond, hurry, Celeborn returns to the camp”, Glorfindel’s voice was sharp.
“I am sorry”, Elrond whispered as he lay down by Erestor’s naked form, “But you will forgive me, I know. You always have.”
He raised himself to his hands and knees and pressed a kiss on the thin, red lips he loved so much. His trembling fingers caressed the cold face as he greedily kissed his way down the pale throat. As he kissed in the crook of the protruding collar bone, there was a low moan from Erestor and suddenly, firm hands pulled Elrond up for a passionate kiss. Elrond found himself moaning in desire as a talented tongue delved into his mouth, teasing, twisting, exploring and claiming. The taste of blood and the less bitter flavour of Erestor’s tongue overwhelmed him. His fingers buried themselves in Erestor’s blood and dirt covered hair. Erestor swiftly reversed their positions, pinning Elrond down and continued his assault with the tongue down Elrond’s straining neck and chest. Elrond bit his lips to stifle a scream as Erestor’s tongue and fingers played alternately upon his nipples. As the tongue descended to his belly button, Elrond climaxed, the intensity of emotions within him too strong to be denied any longer.
Erestor paused in his ministrations and shook his head trying to focus muttering, “You never are this fast, Gil.”
Elrond tried to tell himself that Erestor was not even aware of this in the drugged state, but he was not able to prevent a sob as he heard Gil-Galad’s name from Erestor’s lips. Somehow, he had hoped to hear his own.
Erestor shivered and lifted up Elrond’s legs to his chest. Elrond tensed, while he had centuries of experience with Thranduil, this was different. Erestor was not even aware of his actions, merely seeking to assuage his grief and lust. Elrond was unprepared and weak from the loss of blood. All his further thoughts were thrown out of his head as a sharp pain rose in his nether regions as Erestor entered him. His fingers clenched the mattress, and he screamed. The following moments were the most painful thus far in his long life as Erestor thrust mercilessly, crying our Gil-Galad’s name each time and Elrond felt something break within him deep inside.
But still, Elrond remembered to pant, “Eru bind me to you in body forever.” He felt a flash of pain in him before falling limply.
Finally, Erestor climaxed with a powerful thrust and fell atop Elrond’s gasping body exhausted and sobbing desperately until he fell into reverie. Elrond lay still for a few moments before clumsily moving away from the mattress and pulling the covers over Erestor’s wet form. He dressed himself in just his tunic and stumbled out of the tent where Thranduil and Glorfindel waited. As if by prior agreement, Glorfindel entered the tent while Thranduil helped a dazed Elrond to his own tent.
“Did it work?” Thranduil asked quietly as he removed the torn, dirty tunic from Elrond’s trembling body.
Elrond was not able to hold onto his self-control anymore and he buried his head against Thranduil’s shoulder saying bitterly, “When have your ideas not worked, ernil-nin? It was perfect except for that he was calling for Gil all through the binding.”
Thranduil’s hands soothed him as Elrond sobbed in grief for the price that Sauron had taken. He cried bitterly for the losses borne by himself, Erestor, Thranduil, Anoriel, Cirdan and countless others. He was barely aware of a goblet pressed to his lips; moments later he fell limp and sedated against Thranduil, who moved him to a clean mattress and then began the torturous task of washing the bleeding body.
Black eyes opened slowly and took in their surroundings.
“You are awake?” a familiar reassuring voice asked quietly, “I had been worried.”
“Glor”, Erestor murmured and closed his eyes again trying to drown himself in the dark shadows of grief, “He left me.”
“He had no choice. He was the king of our people. You had always known that in the end his duty would exceed his love”, Glorfindel ran his hands caressingly over the cold face of his friend.
“Yes”, Erestor raised himself wearily, “Yes, mellon-nin, duty is a harsh master. He has done his duty. Now we must not fail in ours.”
“You are exhausted”, Glorfindel said determinedly, “Rest and let us do the work.”
Erestor smiled bitterly, “No, Glor, what more do I have to live for if not for my duty and my grief? I may not have loved him with my full heart, but I loved him all the same, more than I have loved anyone else. I will see his duty completed.”
Glorfindel did not reply, and bent over to kiss a tear-stained cheek. Erestor clutched onto his friend for support and raised himself to his feet.
“Why am I naked?” Erestor asked wryly, “Did Thranduil try warming me?”
Glorfindel smiled softly and held out a set of deep blue robes. Erestor shook his head sadly saying, “Black it must be, mellon-nin.”
Glorfindel bowed in acquiescence.
“Call the nobles and the alliance leaders to the high-king’s tent”, Erestor said unemotionally.
Elrond walked alone to the high-king’s tent. He could already hear raised voices from within. Thranduil had decided to go with his commanders. Elrond entered the tent quietly.
At one side stood Isildur, the heavy crown of Gondor resting on his dark hair. His eyes held bitter anger and pride. With him stood his brother, sons and nephews. His commanders stood farther away respectfully. Next to the human contingent stood the dwarves led by Durin’s younger son, as yet uncrowned. The eldest son and the crown heir had fallen in the last battle.
On the other side were the elven leaders. Cirdan and Celeborn stood together, speaking in low voices. Glorfindel was conversing with one of Thranduil’s commanders. Thranduil himself was standing quietly, his gaze fixed on Isildur. Next to Thranduil stood a figure, Elrond had not expected to see.
Erestor was clad in sombre black robes, the rich blackness alleviated only by the sword at his waist. His hair was restrained by a graceful metal clasp highlighting the gaunt, yet, determined face. The black eyes met Elrond’s form and Erestor nodded slightly.
“Now that the herald has come, we may start”, Cirdan said in his deep voice.
“We need aid to find the body of my brother, our king”, Durin III said in his gloomy voice.
Erestor bowed saying, “Yes, my Lord, we have already sent Lord Gildor to retrieve the bodies of the fallen.”
“My father’s body? And the high-king’s body?” Anarion cut in. Glorfindel and Elrond looked at Erestor worriedly
“Lord Elendil’s body will be brought to your encampment”, Erestor said coldly, “And the high-king, I believe there is no body left.”
Anarion remained silent and Isildur said gravely, “Our condolences for your loss, Lord Erestor.”
Erestor bowed and continued, “Lord Cirdan will speak on a different matter now.”
“I will not give up the ring”, Isildur said bluntly.
“King of Men”, Cirdan said firmly, “you do not have the power to wield it. We should kill the ring and its master in Mt.Doom.”
“And if I refuse to?” Isildur asked, though his features were hidden by the darkness.
“Then,” Thranduil said coldly, “We will have another war, hir-nin, and this time we shall be on opposite sides.”
Anarion said softly, “We would not have war again, King Thranduil, enough blood have we shed by our arguments. My brother will not claim a bauble that cost my father his life.”
He turned to his elder brother and after a few moments of staring at each other, Isildur remarked, “Who will lead me to Mordor? I will not enter that accursed land on my own.”
“Whom will you accept?” Erestor asked quietly, “You do not give most of us the respect we are entitled to.”
“I will take my kin”, Isildur said grimly, “I respect Lord Elrond the most amongst you.”
Erestor’s eyes flickered over Elrond, who nodded.
Cirdan said, “So be it, lord Isildur.”
Galadriel watched the images in her mirror in rising horror. Elrond had bound himself to Erestor, the pain on his features overcome by the nobility of their bond.
She asked to herself, “Why did the Valar allow this bond? Even in death our marriage vows hold.”
Then she realized the exact situation, Erestor was not bound to Elrond. It was one directional, Elrond had not completed the cycle.
“Oh, half-elf, your sense of rightness will be the fall of you”, she said bitterly.
“Naneth”, Celebrian joined her, “Are you speaking to yourself?”
Galadriel did not have the courage to look into her only child’s eyes. She had just seen the elf she had betrothed her daughter to bind himself to another. Elrond would never bear love of that intensity towards anyone else. And yet, bound by her oath to avenge her kin, Galadriel knew that she would sacrifice her daughter to a loveless, farcical marriage. Celebrian would never forgive her. Celeborn’s love might overcome his disgust. But Galadriel was sure that she would never stop hating herself.
Elrond led Isildur through Mordor towards the mountain.
“Even the fiercest thunderstorm cannot undo this”, Isildur said bitterly as he looked about the charred corpses of elves, dwarves and men.
“Thus it was thought after the war of the wrath. Yet Angband was cleansed”, Elrond said thoughtfully, his eyes resting on one particularly mangled elven remains. Was it Celebrimbor?
“Have you found any prisoners?” Isildur asked quietly, his voice trembling ever so slightly.
“None so far. But only Thranduil is willing to go into Barad-dur itself. He is a king”, Elrond sighed, “And cannot be allowed to do that. What of the human sides? Will you lead a search party?”
“Lord Thranduil is a noble soul”, Isildur said with an uncharacteristic sigh, “Much pain have I caused him. No, Lord Elrond, my men lack the courage to step foot within the fortress.”
“I cannot blame them”, Elrond said quietly, “We have all seen enough of these black lands. I am honoured to escort you, Isildur, but I cannot claim that I like this journey.”
“Nor do I”, Isildur fell into his own thoughts before asking, “Was Cirdan right? Will the ring harm more than heal this wounded land?” he unclasped his shirt and fingered the small circlet that was their journey’s end.
“The ring may heal”, Elrond shrugged, turning his eyes away as Isildur stroked the ring, “But they say he created it from his own heart, filled it with malice. So I don’t think it can heal.”
“It is powerful and has lent him strength and wisdom”, Isildur argued quietly, never taking his eyes off the ring.
“Isildur, you are making me nervous”, Elrond muttered as he picked his way up the rocky, mountain path leading to the cave, “Come, watch your step and let us hurry. I wish to get this over with. There are many whom I must tend to at the healing tents.”
“Lord Erestor has recovered well enough”, Isildur said meaningfully, “I suppose as you are the next in line for the crown, he becomes your possession.”
Elrond had a sudden urge to push Isildur into one of the many magma pits around. He clenched his teeth and did not reply.
They entered the cave and stood before the large chasm of molten lava. Elrond felt the malice in the surround suffocate him, he wondered absently if Isildur did not feel it. But then Elrond realized that the malice seemed to be directed from the human. Alarmed, he refocused his attention. Isildur fingered the ring, apparently debating within himself.
“Throw it in”, Elrond whispered with a sinking feeling, he knew then that Isildur would not do it. The lust and raw desire in the human’s eyes nearly made Elrond stagger in shock.
“Why should I?” Isildur purred, “Afraid I will overwhelm your elven realms?”
“Throw it in, Isildur, before it ensnares you completely”, Elrond grit his teeth and clasped his hand on his sword. Isildur was ensnared already.
“I see no reason than the fear of the unknown, Elrond”, Isildur said quietly, his eyes gleaming in the red darkness of the cave, “I do not fear it.”
“If you do not throw it in, I will have to do it”, Elrond drew his sword high, “Whatever the cost. My king did not die in vain.”
“You cannot defeat me, Elrond”, Isildur said with a sneer, “Not while I have this with me. But you are welcome to try and fail. I will enjoy killing you and throwing your body into the chassis. But”, his face became cruel, “The one whom you saved by binding”, Elrond gasped, “Yes, Elrond, naught is hidden from me when I have the ring. Erestor will die if I kill you. Your strength keeps him alive. His family is doomed to everlasting penance in Mandos. Would you want that?”
Elrond stood back, his head lowered in shame, grief and defeat as Isildur walked out of the cave laughing. He would not pursue Isildur and fall nobly in a duel. He needed to live, live for Erestor. He would not condemn Erestor to Mandos. Some decisions had no choices. He would bring darkness on Middle-Earth a second time by his actions, but he thought grimly, Erestor would live.
*****
Elrond watched the long lines of elven warriors move slowly through the war-wracked lands. Thranduil and Celeborn had decided to keep to the borders of the river of Anduin and reach Lothlorien. From there Thranduil would take his depleted army to Greenwood. As for the Noldorin armies, Galadriel had called for a council in Lothlorien. They would need a new high-king.
“I hear they call this the last alliance of elves and men”, Glorfindel said softly as he joined Elrond.
“It is reasonable”, Elrond nodded, “For Greenwood and Lothlorien will never forgive men for the loss of their kings. And our people may also bear everlasting grudges; Gil was much revered. I, for one, will never forgive Isildur.”
They stood in silence awhile before Glorfindel said quietly, “Erestor does not sense this bond. He thinks that his bond to Gil was not strong enough to cause him fading. Will you tell him the truth now?”
Elrond shook his head, his eyes fixed on the lines of the marching armies as he said firmly, “I cannot do that. You know what he will do.”
“Yes”, Glorfindel sighed, “He will insist on sailing to Valinor or may even choose to end his own life. For he believes you to be in love with someone and has never looked upon you with desire, he will be shocked to know that you sacrificed your happiness in love to save his life. Thranduil told me that Galadriel had removed Erestor’s memories of that night of the binding. It is safe.”
“I do not wish to return to Lindon”, Elrond said, thinking of all the memories that he would be haunted by if he stayed in Lindon.
“Nor do I”, Glorfindel admitted, “Gildor was telling me that he finds Imladris more strategic for the future. If you would shift to Imladris then I can do the same. That way, I will have Erestor’s company too.”
“I will think on this, Glorfindel”, Elrond promised, “But we cannot decide anything before the council comes to a decision.”
“Glorfindel”, Celeborn’s voice interrupted their conversation, “There is a problem with the allocation of rations, would you check this?”
Glorfindel patted Elrond’s back and left to answer Celeborn. Elrond wrapped his cloak tighter about his frame and walked to his tent. They would start their journey tomorrow. Back to their homes, though Elrond was not sure where he would go. He fell into a bleak musing as he thought of all the sorrows of the past seven years.
“Elrond?” Erestor stood at the entry to the tent, clad in his mourning robes, “May I come in?”
Elrond waved him in and watched sombrely as Erestor sat by the bedside, his hands clasped in his lap.
“I wanted to thank you for saving my life, Thranduil told me that you healed me”, Erestor said sincerely, his black eyes holding Elrond’s gaze, “When even Galadriel was unable to heal me.”
“Nothing that you would not have done for me, mellon-nin”, Elrond fought a cringe as he remembered vividly the last time they had been alone. The forceful kisses and the passionate lovemaking had kindled in him a desire for Erestor surpassed only by the love he bore the chief counsellor.
“You are ever my saviour, Elrond”, Erestor said seriously as he leaned to take Elrond’s hands in his own, “I have lost count of the number of times you have saved me. I do not know how I will ever cancel that debt.”
“Seeing you well is reward enough for me, Erestor”, Elrond decided to take a small risk and brought their intertwined hands to his lips for a kiss.
“I was wondering if I could spend the nights with you”, Erestor asked softly, making no move to remove his hands, “I am beset by dark dreams and find no rest. I know you have an arrangement with our ernil, but atleast for two or three days? I cannot stand to spend the night alone in Gil’s tent.”
Elrond kissed the hands again saying quietly, “What else are friends for, ‘Restor? Thranduil will stay with Cirdan, so he told me. Apparently the old, goatish mariner asked him to.”
“You left out ‘rusty’”, Erestor’s eyes sparkled faintly in humour, something that Elrond had not seen in them since the high-king’s demise.
“I would like to join you in Imladris, mellon-nin”, Elrond said quietly, “Lindon holds no value for me.”
“I would be pleased”, Erestor remarked, “I was wishing that you and Glorfindel would join me. I don’t wish to be lonely in the valley, and I know I will not be happy in Lindon with the memories.”
Elrond gave a squeeze of comfort to Erestor’s hands. The counsellor said more briskly, “I am worried for Thranduil. He should not go alone to Greenwood, one of us should go to with him to help him cope. I would go, of course.”
“I will go”, Elrond said firmly, “You are weak and weary. Go to Imladris after the council and then rest awhile. I will stay with Thranduil until their marriage.”
“I doubt it would be anytime soon. Amroth has not yet recovered”, Erestor sighed, “Elrond, I must go now and see to the rations. Glorfindel will achieve only irritating Celeborn.”
“Let them be”, Elrond said dismissively, he was with Erestor after a long time and did not want to end this, “Come, retire for tonight. The rations won’t disappear tomorrow.”
“Very well then”, Erestor shrugged, his eyes twinkling, “I had been hoping to be forced to retire. I am very tired.”
Elrond moved to the farther side of the mattress making space for Erestor. The counsellor removed his heavy mourning robes and slipped in beside Elrond, saying drowsily, “I do believe that the moment my head touches the mattress, I shall slip into reverie.”
“You know what?” Elrond teased, “Ada Maglor used to complain that I slept with my eyes closed occasionally. If he saw the way you sleep, so exhaustedly, he would be scandalized.”
“Whatever you say”, Erestor replied diplomatically.
Elrond turned to look at him, his eyes were closed in exhaustion and he had already fallen asleep. Shaking his head, he pulled up the covers to Erestor’s chest and ran his hands through the tangled black hair once before turning away resolutely and trying to find his own sleep.
They rode slowly along the river Anduin, long lines of weary and wounded warriors. Elrond and Glorfindel were in the middle of the host, occupied by the rationing and attending to the wounded. Thranduil, Cirdan and Celeborn led the armies. Erestor was doing what he loved to do the most, appearing everywhere and supervising the warriors. Some nights he would return to Elrond’s tent, weary and near fainting. Some nights, Gildor would send word to Elrond that Erestor had fallen asleep on him. The battle had strengthened the deep bond of friendship between the leader of the wandering company and Erestor. More than once, Gildor had rushed to save his friend’s life after Erestor attempted reckless charges.
One night, while Elrond was speaking with Glorfindel, Erestor entered the camp, looking as weary as if he had single-handedly built Gondolin.
“What are you trying to prove?” Glorfindel asked acidly, “They are warriors, not rose bushes. You don’t need to tend them so.”
Erestor came to sit by him offering, “Your warriors are pricklier than rosebushes, Glor. I had to intervene in thirteen brawls tonight. At this rate, we shall reach Lorien with less than half the current number.”
“And minus the chief counsellor”, Glorfindel raised Erestor’s chin and scrutinized the wan features, “Are you trying to work yourself to death? I am surprised that Elrond has not complained.”
“I have told Thranduil, Glorfindel”, Elrond smiled handing a cup of tea to Erestor, “He has promised to see to this.”
Erestor scowled, but said nothing as he gratefully sipped the tea. Obviously, he did not wish to further enrage the balrog slayer.
“’Res, are you trying to work yourself to death?” Glorfindel asked more severely.
“Glorfindel”, Erestor warned, his eyes narrowing.
Elrond shook his head at Glorfindel, but the balrog slayer trudged on, “What, am I right?”
“Lord Glorfindel”, Erestor stood up angrily, “I would advise you to keep put of my affairs!”
“Erestor”, Elrond intervened, “Why don’t you retire?”
“Stay out of this, Elrond”, Glorfindel stood up and faced Erestor, though Erestor was a mere few inches shorter than the balrog slayer, now Glorfindel towered over him, his fair features contorted in grief and rage, “You are trying to fade, Erestor. Do you deny that?”
Erestor said coldly, “I do not see any purpose to my life now that I have failed to even keep my own bonded-mate alive.”
Elrond watched alarmed, he had never seen Erestor in a true temper before though he had heard tales of the counsellor’s fiery Feanorian outbursts from Gil-Galad and Glorfindel. He found suddenly that he did not wish to see that.
Glorfindel grasped Erestor’s forearms and shook him roughly, “You would leave me? You would leave Elrond, who almost sacrificed himself to save you? You would leave Gil-Galad’s work undone? By the Valar, Erestor, is this what Cirdan and I taught you? I was proud when you defiantly followed me to Eregion, when you found Imladris. I was proud when you defied us all and did your duty to the refugees. Now, Erestor, what are you doing? Trying to seek death?”
“You told me to follow my heart, Glorfindel”, Erestor tried to shake Glorfindel’s grip off.
“Yes”, Glorfindel said steadily, “And now you are not doing that. You are not tired of life, yet you try to die.”
Erestor angrily extricated himself from Glorfindel’s grip and strode off, his robes swishing angrily about his frame.
“Will that help?” Elrond asked mildly as he gave Glorfindel a cup of tea, “I must go and search for him, he is very exhausted.”
“He will have gone to the ernil”, Glorfindel said miserably, “I will go myself. But someone had to make him see what he is doing. I cannot survive losing him, Elrond, he is the most valued person in my heart.”
“I too cannot survive losing him, Glorfindel”, Elrond strode forward to hug his friend, who gratefully accepted the comfort.
Glorfindel returned with Erestor half an hour later, their voices rising and falling in a gentle banter, the soft smirks on their faces giving away their amusement.
“It is over then?” Elrond asked fighting off a grin as Erestor tried to put on a scowl.
“Excuse me, but let me remind you that this young scowling specimen of an elf has been taken over my knees countless times in his youth”, Glorfindel said snidely, “Would I hesitate to do that again, Elrond?”
Elrond bit his lips fighting laughter at the abject expression of horror on Erestor’s pale features before the counsellor said icily, “That will be a day you shall never live to see, Elrond! Now, I am going to retire and leave you two to idle talk”, he walked off in a flurry of robes leaving Elrond and Glorfindel finally free to let flow their laughter.
Anoriel walked to the window of the sick room and watched the sun set slowly over the mallorn. The bond between Thranduil and her was strengthening. She knew that he was coming. She sighed, her father was dead, his father was dead, her brother was fading. How long would it take to renew alliances, rebuild kingdoms and armies? Only after kingdoms, alliances and others would their love matter again. Tears slipped down her eyes, she wanted nothing more than to be with him again. To never let him go from her embrace. Would that they had been two simple elves unburdened by the crowns and their fathers’ legacies!
“Pen-neth?” a raspy voice pulled her back to the present. She turned with alarm and astonishment towards the bed. A pair of weary, grief-struck, sapphire blue eyes watched her.
“You are finally awake”, Anoriel murmured as she knelt by the bed and soothed her brother’s limp hair, “I was so frightened.”
“How long?” he asked hoarsely as he closed his eyes in an attempt to remember, “How long have I been a burden to you?”
“The war is over. It has been eight years since our father fell”, Anoriel smiled bitterly, “Six years since you have been in this state. I thank the Valar for having returned you to me.”
“I left you alone”, he shook his head sadly, “My love blinded my duties. What worthy heir am I to my father’s crown? Better you than me.”
“That you love her to your own destruction speaks volumes of the power of your heart”, she soothed his frowning brows, “I will send for her. But she may not come.”
“I will go to her”, Amroth sighed, “Thranduil?”
“Comes”, Anoriel said quietly.
Amroth grasped her chin in his hands and said firmly, “You will marry him as soon as he arrives, I do not care what your wishes are. You have both waited centuries, first, it was our father’s follies, then it was Eregion, then it was Thranduil’s past, then the war! This has gone on long enough, this time we shall have a grand feast, better than your betrothal.”
“Amroth”, she smiled sadly, “So many have fallen, so many are wounded and tormented by the war, so many have lost their lovers, bonded-mates, parents, siblings, family and friends. Kings of all our realms have fallen. This is a bad time to get married, I am in mourning for father. He is in mourning for his father. His realm has been the worst hit. He will need to toil with all he is before Greenwood breathes again.”
“What have you decided?” he asked fearfully, seeing the firm set to her jaw.
“Now that you are awake, my brother, I will go to him”, Anoriel squeezed his hands gently, “My place is by him. We need each other to heal. We consummated our bond years ago on our betrothal night. We do not need a wedding to complete this.”
“No maiden should leave her home without a wedding feast, least of all, the princess of Lorien”, Amroth said harshly, “Father would never have let this happen.”
“Nor would Oropher”, Anoriel said quietly, “Yet, this is my life, and my will, If it takes this to be with him, I do not mind. I would wish for a wedding, but it is a sacrifice I shall make for our love. We shall not get married on the corpses of our kin, but we can no more stay apart.”
Thranduil nudged his horse on as they neared the woods. Celeborn and Cirdan sent knowing smirks at him, but he did not care. The bond in his heart was overflowing with joy and sorrow in equal measure. Then he saw.
Before the mallorn trees, stood a graceful white stallion bearing a hooded rider clad in a white dress. Thranduil felt a smile break over his features and a burning sensation pervading his throat and the corners of his eyes as the wind blew softly. The hood parted to reveal flaxen, golden hair framing a gaunt, yet extremely beautiful face.
He raced ahead leaving his fellow leaders and warriors far behind as he galloped towards the solitary sentinel figure. She raised her hood and pulled it back and nudged her stallion gently. They met on the plains, the soft grass swaying gently about them as they stopped five feet apart staring with wonder at each other. Tears flowed down their faces, their bodies trembled and the love that flooded their bond threatened to drive them mad.
Thranduil dismounted. Anoriel’s eyes hungrily took in the gaunt, slender form of the son Oropher had loved too much, the prince she loved too much. He was changed, he had become unconsciously more regal, wise and noble. She could see it in his stride as he approached her slowly, wonder on his features. The wildness about him had been tamed by grief. He raised his eyes to the skies and whispered a silent prayer of thanks before approaching her.
He drew out his dagger and made a cut on his wrist and knelt before her saying solemnly, “I would bind my body to yours forever. We have already bound our hearts and souls. Yet we have not bound our bodies. Will you have me?”
She watched in surprise and endless joy as he remained knelt before her stallion, his hand bleeding, his eyes holding only love that would last forever.
“There is nothing more that I would wish for on Middle Earth, ernil-nin”, she drew out her sword and made a cut on her slender, pale wrist before dismounting gracefully and kneeling before him. They pressed their hands together, and whispered their vows. They held each other’s gaze in awe as their blood intermingled binding their bodies forever. Then simultaneously, they bent towards each other for a kiss. A harsh wind blew from the south, from Greenwood. But they did not worry, as long as they had each other, they would prevail.
Behind them, the welcoming party of Lothlorien led by the convalescing King Amroth and Galadriel cheered the union. The war weary host of the elves stopped their march as they dismounted and bowed to the sublime love they witnessed. Celeborn and Glorfindel were laughing at the display before them. But Galadriel saw the pain in Erestor’s eyes war with his joy for the couple. Elrond’s eyes were deep pools of wistful joy.
Thranduil’s arms slid around Anoriel’s as he pulled them to their feet whispering, “I fear that we have gained a lot of voyeurs.”
“I love being watched, especially when I am in your arms”, she laughed as she pulled him to her insistently and ran her fingers through his matted hair, yet so soft. He engaged her lips for a deep, lingering, passionately, sensual kiss.
*****
Elrond smiled despite his weary soul as Glorfindel danced with Celebrian at the small banquet held in honour of Thranduil’s bonding. Amroth had insisted that his sister deserved atleast that for her wedding festivities. The bonded couple were softly speaking with each other.
Celeborn approached Anoriel saying, “A dance?”
“In my father’s stead”, Anoriel replied solemnly as she accepted his hand. Thranduil watched them for a moment before turning his attention to Galadriel, whose eyes were weary though she had fought no war.
“I have not yet thanked you for lending my Ada strength then”, Thranduil smiled at her.
“It was the least I could do for someone who had done so much for me”, Galadriel bowed to him, “I fear that it is the doom upon me which haunts your house. I should have never stood in your mother’s stead.”
“As it is, I would beg you again, if we turn back the time”, Thranduil said firmly, “My father is with my mother, whom he loved dearly. They will be at peace.”
“I pray that you will find peace with her presence”, Galadriel said softly with her eyes on her husband and Anoriel.
“So do I”, Thranduil raised his goblet.
Erestor approached them, his pitch black robes trailing on the floor silently. Thranduil relinquished his seat to his friend saying, “I will claim my bride, Celeborn has been tarrying.”
“Indeed”, Erestor graced him with a smile before taking the offered seat beside Galadriel. Thranduil bowed to them and walked away to join Anoriel. Celeborn moved to Elrond’s side and they started conversing.
“You saw his death”, Erestor said quietly, his eyes fixed on Thranduil and Anoriel
“I did, My Lord”, Galadriel said equally quiet, “I foresaw it long ago. I could not meddle with the fates no matter how much I loved him.”
“Would you have kept silent if it had been your husband?” Erestor asked emotionlessly, though his fingers were clenched white against his goblet.
“Yes”, Galadriel said simply.
They remained silent for a long while before Galadriel spoke again, “It was not your fault that he died. Nor mine. His fate was that. You gave him the best years of his life, you took his loneliness away at the expense of your own happiness. You stood by him even when he did not stand by you. You did more than anyone else.”
“Yet it was not enough to pull me with him into Mandos”, Erestor remarked as he leant back in his chair, “Obviously I did not love him enough.”
“It was more than enough to drag you into death”, Galadriel said quietly, “I could not pull you back with my skills. But Elrond fought tooth and nail to save you from death. You have friends who would die for you, as Gil-Galad had a mate to follow him into death.”
“No, Galadriel”, Erestor said, “There is no bond anymore. It was severed after his death. All that binds me to him is my vows. Still I have atleast that to cling to.”
“Nobody of my kin has called me by my name for centuries. I thank you for reminding me that I have yet blood relatives on these lands”, Galadriel said sincerely, “The only advice I can give you is what Oropher once told me : follow your heart, it will never betray you.”
“Celebrian comes with us to Imladris then?” Erestor asked, “No wedding ceremony?”
“No, it is not seemly for them to have a ceremony when the princess herself has sacrificed hers in honour of her fallen kin”, Galadriel said with a deep sigh, “And Elrond is not in favour of one too. They have exchanged rings as their acceptance of the vows of marriage.”
Erestor nodded. Galadriel asked in a lighter tone, “As my errant husband seems to have devoted himself to Elrond tonight, would you do me the honour of a dance?”
“In stead of your nephew?” Erestor raised an eyebrow.
“You are a nephew too”, Galadriel got to her feet, “But I want to know that there are no regrets. The love of our kin and our family will carry us both through.”
Erestor bowed and took the proffered hand. There was a collective gasp as Galadriel raised her voice in song,
"Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.”
Erestor’s grip on the lady’s waist tightened as he met her darkened, cold blue eyes. As if on cue, Thranduil began to move towards them, his face marred by a frown.
Galadriel smiled as she wrapped her arms around Erestor’s midriff whispering, “You betray him, My Lord.”
Erestor’s eyes widened as he tried to close his mind to the powerful onslaught as the lady continued to sing in her harsh voice,
"His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's field
were mirrored in his silver shield."
“I have never betrayed him in life”, Erestor said in a shaky voice, “Why would I begin to do so in death?”
Galadriel laughed as she sung bitterly,
"But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are.”
Erestor shook his head in disbelief as he pushed her away from him, sweat breaking on his fine brow, he was barely aware of Thranduil’s warm hands supporting him and leading him away. Galadriel closed her eyes as she whispered, “In Mordor where the shadows are, where the shadows are.”
“Not very tactful”, Elrond’s cold voice broke in on her thoughts, “Once again, your vindictiveness is unparalleled.”
Galadriel turned to face his accusing stare as she said quietly, “I was merely giving him the will to live on and to find love again. He cannot afford to cling to the past, none of us can.”
Thranduil walked slowly through the leaf strewn paths under the mallorn trees. Anoriel was with Amroth, as was custom for brides on the day before their departure for their bonded’s lands.
“Cousin?” Celebrian’s hand snaked in through his arm easily as she crept on him unawares.
“’Bria”, Thranduil acknowledged as he raised her hand to his lips, “If orcs were as soft on foot as you, I would be long in Mandos.”
“You should keep vigil with your kin tonight, Thranduil”, Celebrian reminded him unnecessarily.
“Unfortunately for me, I seem to be lacking in kin”, Thranduil replied bitterly, “Still the trees are kin.”
“I am kin”, Celebrian rested her golden head on his shoulder, “Would you accept my company to keep vigil this night? Ada and Naneth are arguing, something regarding her song. So I presume you will not be graced with Ada’s company.”
“I miss my Ada tonight”, Thranduil whispered as he gazed up at the stars forlornly, “But, thank you, cousin, I will be glad of your company. What news?”
“Elrond and I exchanged rings”, Celebrian shrugged, “That is, he sent a ring through Anoriel, and I sent one back. Still, here it is”, she flashed a golden circle on her slim finger, “A mockery of our hearts.”
“He is a noble soul”, Thranduil sighed, not knowing what else to say.
“Yes”, Celebrian said smiling, “You should know having spent days and nights with him, is it not?”
“Do I smell of him?” Thranduil sniffed himself playfully as Celebrian laughed.
“Really, cousin!” Celebrian chastised, “You are the limit. Only you will be able to put up with Anoriel , for she has an equally bad sense of humour!”
“You are attracted to someone”, Thranduil turned to face her fully.
“Again, as ever your conversation is unpredictable”, Celebrian said softly, “But true; it is just a passing attraction, though I suppose I am beyond the age to have these silly crushes.”
“No”, Thranduil said solemnly, “I feel that desire is as strong as any other emotion. My love for Anoriel surpasses anything else. Still I find desire rising in my veins whenever I look upon Elrond or Erestor. Indeed I feel that I will always have an attraction regarding them. But it does not tarnish my love for Anoriel as long as I remain true to my vows. We are not the Valar. We cannot help desire. Though your mother might be above such things, the rest of us are normal elves!”
Celebrian nodded as his words sunk in, giving her the much needed mental support to take on her role as the wife of Elrond when she desired another.
“Mellon-nin?” Erestor joined them, his robes rustling gently over the fallen leaves. He bowed to Celebrian with a soft smile.
“A moment”, Thranduil murmured to Celebrian as he exchanged a glance with Erestor. They went a few paces away and talked in Quenya, their voices melodic and low. Celebrian watched Thranduil laugh and embrace Erestor tightly before they separated.
“Now he is entirely at your disposal”, Erestor smiled at Celebrian and withdrew waving away her invitation to stay with them.
“He is enigmatic”, Celebrian said quietly, “Wonder how Gil and you managed to sleep with him. He…he does not seem capable of passion.”
“Oh!” Thranduil laughed even as she blushed at her own words, “Trust me, he is quite capable! After all, I speak from, you know, what I speak from! He will have my tongue chopped off I he had heard me.”
“He is harsh then?” Celebrian looked tremulously in the direction where Erestor had disappeared off into, “The one or two times I met him outside of formality, he was quite polite and put me at my ease. He insisted that I address him by name.”
“He is all right, just a tad like Elrond. They hide their hearts behind their formality. Don’t worry, ‘Bria, the herald, the counsellor and the seneschal are all true souls. You will never have trouble from their side”, Thranduil assured her, “If they do something, you send word to me and I’ll stick things into certain holes of certain elves”, Celebrian punched his shoulder laughing, “I will!”
“Oh, cousin!” Celebrian said when she finally regained her breath, “Am glad that you have recovered well.”
Thranduil’s eyes clouded as he whispered, “I cannot bear to have you or Celeborn unhappy. You are all that is left to me as kin. And I mean my words, nobody will live to tell the tale should they hurt you by word or action.”
Celebrian hugged him and they stood still, the bonds of kinship that tied them reflected in their handsome features.
Elrond sat next to Erestor with a sigh. It would be a long meeting and he expected many frayed relations. They had bid farewell to Thranduil and his bride that morning. Now, it was time to elect a new leader.
“My Lords, now that we have assembled here, shall we proceed without further civilities?” Galadriel asked clearly, she continued as silence fell on the small group of Noldor nobles and a few of the Sindar who were considered close enough to the issue at hand.
“Gil-Galad left behind no clear will concerning the kingship, or that regarding the ring of power, Vilya. The logical assumption is that the kingship would pass along with the nearest in blood”, her eyes shifted to Elrond, “Along with the ring.”
There were uneasy glances as Galadriel smiled bitterly saying, “But there are others kin to the fallen King. Allow me to list those noble names”, she paused before her eyes rested on Cirdan, who shrugged.
“The house of Feanor, we are uncertain to the fate of Maglor”, Galadriel closed her eyes, “so we must discount him from our reckonings. We have no news of the fate of the Ring maker of Eregion. But he had given up all claims to the throne ever. That leaves us only with Lord Erestor, son to Maglor, fosterson to Noble Cirdan, Chief-Counsellor to the High-King and bonded mate to Ernineon Gil-Galad. His sister, Lady Melorian”, Glorfindel flinched subtly, “has relinquished all claim to her house and accepted her husband’s heritage.”
“I have no claim on his kingship or possessions, but I would make a request of Elrond should he allow me”, Erestor said somberly, “I wish to continue as the chief-counsellor if the herald and the heir has no objections. I wish to make reparations as much as I can strive to after all that my family has brought upon elvenkind. And Middle-Earth.”
Elrond opened his mouth to interject, but Galadriel said evenly, “I am proud of your noble words, Lord Erestor. We must stand together or fall apart. Of the house of Finarfin only I and Gildor remain. I stay in Middle-Earth only to repair my kins’ errors. My bloodline has relinquished my heritage in favour of my bonded’s. Lord Gildor?”
Gildor sighed and stared at Erestor before replying, “Ever have my line been bound to the service of the true line of high-King Finwe. I stand by that. But if Lord Erestor stands by his words, I will take to my wandering troops again in the foreseeable future.”
“You are unopposed, Lord Herald Half-Elven”, Cirdan said softly. His words were a calculated insult to Elrond’s human blood, everybody knew that and some approved whole-heartedly.
Elrond bowed and stood, he spoke softly, his counsel advised by Thranduil centuries ago, when he had spoken with his friend after the argument with Gil-galad in Imladris on their first visit to the valley after it had become a flourishing city (Refer The Song Of Sunset Chapter 28 : ‘Confrontations’) , “I will not take up the kingship that is not rightly that of my house. For the sake of unity, I will remain the herald and I beg that Lord Erestor remains the chief-counsellor. Gil-Galad shall be the last of the high-kings of the Noldor on this side of the ocean”, his eyes met Galadriel’s wondering ones, “There will be unity, this is all I wish.”
“If you wish it, then it shall be so”, Galadriel bowed.
“I wish to hand over the lordship of Imladris to the herald as it is his by right”, Erestor stood and bowed to Elrond, “Imladris and myself are at your disposal.”
“Lord Erestor”, Elrond felt a catch of breath in his throat as he bowed deeply to his long time desire, one time lover and ever good friend, “We served a star together. Now I shall be honoured to rule beside you, with you.”
Their eyes met as they straightened, for once, Elrond thought that he saw something beyond the warmth of friendliness, but the other elf nodded gracefully and resumed his seat.
Galadriel spoke to Celeborn as he watched her undress with interest, “They are noble, both of them.”
“I suppose so. And goodlooking. ”, Celeborn shrugged as he casually raised a hand to rake through his hair hoping that she would catch on his desire, “’Bria could have such fun, if they all agreed, of course.”
Galadriel raised an eyebrow sternly even as she regarded her handsome husband with a fond quirk of her lips, “Meaning? Some Sindar tradition I am not aware of?”
“Ah!” Celeborn glared as he let the silken covers fall to the floor as he sat up and watched her stand before the mirror combing her hair, a thin gown covering her, “I think the Noldor started it! The Sindar have always gone for quality, not quantity. Certainly, none of us have cavorted in groups.”
Galadriel bit her lips as she chastised her husband half-amusedly, “Celeborn, are you attempting to imagine our dear offspring with both the noble counsellor and the herald at the same time?”
“I am not sure that I would have ever thought of such a thing if you had not put it so roguishly”, Celeborn said in an appalled tone, “I merely meant that they were good company. Now come to bed before you do worse mind reading! My daughter with two elves in her bed indeed!!!” he grumbled even as her hands slipped reassuringly around his midriff and her full lips kissed his anger away.
Elrond watched the stars blearily. He wanted to sleep, but he could not find the will to retire to his bed alone. Celebrian was with Haldir, he did not mind truly, still he felt the loneliness of his situation more. Glorfindel had decided to spend the night walking under the mallorn with his tent-mate of the past years, Gildor. Celeborn and Galadriel were engaged in rather loud activities that the sounds were audible even here. Elrond felt a smile tug at his lips, he knew that Thranduil and Anoriel would be doing the same somewhere on the plains. He laughed bitterly when he thought of the sheltered princess of Lothlorien, whom Amdir had hidden away from the world. This was what it had come to, she had left her home without a parent’s blessing and a proper ceremony. Her mother had not even deigned to see her off to Greenwood. But Thranduil would do right by her.
Thinking of Thranduil made him feel sadder. But no, what he had experienced once with Erestor Maglorien would sustain him till the very end. He had vowed that there would be no other anymore. He could not help thinking of the world of difference between the gentle, skilled, lovemaking of Thranduil and the unbridled passion of Erestor. Maybe Thranduil had not been unrestrained with Elrond, because he valued their friendship over lust. The tales that he had heard of Thranduil spoke different.
Both Erestor and Thranduil, they were so alike, in passion, in nobility of bearing and compassion. Maybe that was why that he had fallen in love with one of them and had grown to cherish the other.
“No rest?” Erestor’s voice startled him and he shook his head turning to face the other elf.
“I have to talk with you, Elrond”, Erestor whispered as he joined Elrond on the open balcony to gaze at the skies, “But I cannot find the courage to do it.”
“What about, mellon-nin? I thought the council went along fine,” Elrond said softly as he placed a hand on Erestor’s wrist clenched tightly around the railing that it shone pale white in the starlight.
“I….I, Elrond”, Erestor said in a shaky voice as he tore his gaze away from the sky and met Elrond’s gaze, “I have misused you. You suffered so much to keep me alive after Gil left us. I cannot tell you of the entire shame and pain that I carry within my soul for betraying all that was between us. I was not aware, still I know that can be no reason for what I did”, Elrond made to speak, but Erestor shook his head and knelt before him and clutched his hands saying quietly, “You should have killed me then. But you accepted my torture. Kill me, so that you can set yourself free for Celebrian.”
Elrond felt tears escape his eyes as he gripped Erestor’s face roughly in his hands and knelt down so that their gazes met again. Tears were flowing from Erestor’s weary eyes too.
“Set us both free”, Erestor whispered, “Set me free to die and join Gil whom I should never have deserted, set yourself free for her. There will be no judgement by the Valar, I deserve to be killed for what I committed.”
“And?” Elrond asked bitterly, “Why did I take that step? Why didn’t I fade when you did that? Why, Erestor?”
“Because of the friendship of centuries”, Erestor replied steadily.
“Glorfindel would have done the same if that had been the same, for your friendship is deeper. Yet, he allowed me to do that”, Elrond whispered, “Why do you think that was? For all your keen senses, you did not see what was in me?”
Erestor’s breath fastened as he tore his eyes away from Elrond saying harshly, “Please, Elrond.”
“No more, Erestor”, Elrond raised their hands to his lips, “Ever have I hidden whom I loved for the past eighteen hundred years and more, because I could not tarnish your love for Gil or our friendship with what I bore in my heart. We have both lost. I will accept this marriage with the lady. I will never seek you with my desire. But I want your friendship please. I will kill for that. Don’t leave me, don’t sail, don’t talk about ending your life. I saved your life with my pain, true. But your life is worth anything I can sacrifice.”
“Elrond, Elrond”, Erestor shook his head sadly, “Don’t speak like this! I am not what you imagine me to be. I am shallow.”
“Be it as it may”, Elrond replied, “But live. Otherwise I shall follow you to the west or to Mandos. As Fingolfin said to Feanor I say, lead, and I will follow.”
“No”, Erestor said firmly as he faced Elrond again, fire blazing in his eyes, “I will live if I can just prevent you from insane declarations as this. But never shall we repeat the mistakes of our forefathers.”
“Live for yourself”, Elrond breathed as he hugged Erestor gratefully, “That is all I ask. I will do anything you wish if you agree. I don’t care what you do, whom you seek, how we argue, just live for yourself.”
“I will do more, Elrond”, Erestor returned the embrace and kissed Elrond softly on the lips eliciting a gasp of shock and long suppressed love, “I will live for you, if you ask me to.”
Galadriel woke from her reverie, Celeborn was smiling bitterly as he removed himself from the bed saying, “Your noble souls are happy. Satisifed?”
“How did you know?” she breathed not daring to imagine his wrath at her meddling.
“I am sorry to remind you that the trees still honour my feelings unlike my wife who thinks that she can butter me in her bed while planning to get my daughter’s husband and his love together”, Celeborn spat as he pulled on his leggings, “I will not enter your bed chamber again.”
“They deserved to be happy after everything. Our daughter is our daughter, I love her more than anything else. I will not betray her”, Galadriel said in a small voice, “Please, Celeborn, I missed you, come back. Do not leave us sundered again.”
“After I think of all that you have achieved, I am surprised that I can still look upon you with no intent to kill!” Celeborn said angrily as he left.
Galadriel, daughter of Finarfin, had made yet one more sacrifice for the redemption of her fallen house. She closed her eyes as she tried to be strong, to not succumb to the tears, to not just run behind him and beg him.
*****
| Home | OEAM News | Recent Story Updates | Stories by Author | Stories by Pairing and Character | Stories by Title | Works In Progress |
| Author Profiles | Story Submission Guidelines | Beta Listing | Awards/Achievements | Links |