Part 11

Posted: October 2003
Author: Inwe Saralonde

*****

‘Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette'
‘Back to You' – John Mayer

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Aragorn's POV

I needed some air. I could no longer think within the confines of my room. Elladan exhorted telling the truth, and I knew he was right. There was no point in denying it to Legolas – Legolas' eyes would not have lied to him. And I could not deceive Legolas even if I wanted to.

Not bothering to put on a pair of boots, I ventured out into the night, dressed only in my leggings and tunic. It was calm, quiet. I hoped it would help give me the calmness I needed before I faced Legolas.

I looked up, trying to find Eärendil, the star that was Elrond's father, travelling on his mithril and elven-glass ship with the Silmaril at its prow.

I began to wander aimlessly through the garden, not really caring where I was walking. My thoughts were preoccupied with Legolas – and with Haldir, if truth were told. His behaviour I found extremely puzzling; more so because he offered to speak to Legolas. ‘Why?' I wondered. I shook my head, unable to find an answer. I wasn't even sure if Haldir knew himself.

I was so absorbed with my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Legolas until I literally ran into him. We both looked at each other, startled.

"Forgive me, Legolas, I wasn't watching where I was going," I apologised.

"No matter, Aragorn." Legolas made a move to pass me, but I stopped him.

"Legolas…I need to speak to you about what happened this afternoon."

"There is nothing to speak about."

Grabbing his arm, I said fiercely: "Yes there is, Legolas. Will you not give me the chance to explain?"

I heard Legolas sigh. He looked at me; I could see the sorrow in his eyes. "Very well, Aragorn."

I let go of his arm. "Come, Legolas, let us find somewhere quiet and talk in peace." Not bothering to look to see if he was following, I began to make my way to a small glade that had long since been a favourite place of mine. I had often gone whenever I needed time to myself.

We arrived there a few minutes later. I indicated a bench to Legolas.

"Would you like to sit down?" An inane question, but was frantically trying to curb the nervousness that was threatening to overtake me.

"No."

I cleared my throat. "Oh, right. Yes, well…um…it's like this…I…ah…" I looked at Legolas, and my heart sank. His face was totally expressionless, as if it were set in stone.

"Yes, Aragorn?" His tone was flat, unyielding.

‘Oh Gods,' I thought. ‘This is going to be difficult…'

"I'm waiting, Aragorn." Legolas' voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"I love you, Legolas," I blurted.

The statement hovered in the air, before the full impact of it hit Legolas.

"What?!!" His face was no longer expressionless; I could see his blue eyes shining bright with fury. "You what?!!" His anger was palpable. He began to approach me, fists clenched at his sides. I swallowed.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe you? After what I saw in Haldir's room? Discussion indeed, Aragorn! I know what I saw…and you have the gall to stand there and say you love me!"

He whirled away, and began to pace the glade.

"And I suppose you blame Haldir for what happened? What about *your* part in this, Aragorn?" He faced me again. "Are you so weak, Aragorn, that you allow anyone to come along and seduce you?" I shrank away from his burning gaze.

"I have had," he continued relentlessly, "a number of people telling me that you *love* me." He saw the surprised look on my face. "And I was fool enough to believe that you did! I thought that there may be a chance of a relationship between us! I love you, Aragorn! And *if* you loved me, you would not have allowed what happened between yourself and Haldir to occur!"

Wait a minute…did he say 'I love you, Aragorn'? I ventured a look at Legolas. His fury seemed spent – he stood there, the emotions playing on his face.

"Legolas…" I said tentatively. I slowly approached him, till I was standing before him. "You said…you said you loved me." He looked at me; I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes.

"Did I say that?"

I nodded, swallowing.

He closed his eyes, then opened them again. "May the Valar help me, but yes, I do."

I looked at him mutely, not knowing what I should say.

"Did you lie with him?"

I shook my head. "No, it did not get that far." I sighed wearily. "But you are right, Legolas. I *am* weak. I should have resisted Haldir, but I didn't."

And I began to explain to Legolas how it came about that I ended up in Haldir's room, leaving nothing out.

After I finished, there was a moment's silence.

"Thank you for being so honest with me, Aragorn."

I smiled weakly. "Legolas, you know what you saw. And I cannot lie to you. All I can do now is ask for your forgiveness."

"I can forgive you, Aragorn, but I do not know if I can trust you."

"I know." I held my gaze with that of Legolas'. We stood there in silence, looking at each other, for what seemed like an eternity.

Legolas broke the silence. "I return to Mirkwood in the morning. My errand to Imladris is complete; I have a reply to my father's message from Lord Elrond."

I nodded. "Legolas…"

"Good night, Aragorn. I have an early start tomorrow, and I wish to get some rest."

"Good night, Legolas."

I watched him turn away and leave the glade.

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The next morning

I had not gone down to farewell Legolas and his small party; instead, I watched them leaving Imladris, feeling that the matter between myself and Legolas had not been fully resolved.

And I knew not whether it ever would be.

*****

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