Part 2

Posted: October 2003
Title: Reflections
Author: Inwe Saralonde

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Early evening, Mirkwood.

Aragorn's POV

Surreptitiously I looked at Legolas. Something disturbed him – his movements, normally fluid, were jerky. The other Elves noticed too, and exchanged puzzled glances amongst themselves. Silinde asked him something; there was a flash of anger as Legolas snapped back a reply, and Silinde backed away, embarrassed and confused.

"Legolas." He turned his head at the sound of my voice. "What is it that ails you? You are normally not like this!"

"And what am I normally like, Aragorn?" he retorted.

I held up my hands in a placatory gesture. "Legolas, please. Let us not quarrel. I am – we are," indicating the others around me, "are concerned as to why you are acting in this manner."

"There is nothing the matter, Aragorn. Just leave me be."

I sighed, running my hand through already dishevelled hair. "As you wish. If you wish to talk, I will be down by the stream, washing away the smell of Orc." There was a hint of a smile at this from Legolas. "A good idea – you do not bathe enough as it is ranger."

"I do not always have the opportunity to do so," I replied and, with alacrity, continued: "I shall remove my offending person forthwith and bathe."

Legolas' smile widened. Good. As I leave, I felt that some equanimity has been restored – but for how long?

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Legolas' POV

‘Sweet Elbereth – how long can I continue with this?' I could not help but think as I glanced in Aragorn's direction. His movements were slow, and his head must pain him, though he would not admit to it. I wanted nothing more than to let him know how I felt, even if it meant his rejecting me, anything but this turmoil that I was going through.

I could see the others, including Aragorn, were looking at me, concern etched on their faces.

"Is something wrong, Legolas? Can I help…" It was Silinde. I snapped back at him: "No! I do not need your help!" then regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. I felt like howling my frustration to the sky.

I heard his footsteps. "Legolas." I turned, trying to keep my face impassive. "What is it that ails you? You are normally not like this!"

"And what am I normally like, Aragorn?" The frustration was evident in my voice, but I could not help myself.

I watched him as he tried to remain patient, raising his hands, asking that we do not quarrel; only that he and the others were concerned about me. I felt a degree of shame; I knew that I was taking out my frustrations on others, that I was showing more of my feelings than I normally did. There is nothing the matter, I told him, and to leave me be.

He does so, telling me that he would be down by the stream to bathe. There was the beginning of a smile on my face when I told him bathing was something he did not do enough of. My smile widened upon his reply, and I watched him leave, unaware of curiosity of the others watching our exchange.

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Aragorn's POV

I don't know how long I had been kneeling at the water's edge. My thoughts were centred around Legolas and the realisation that my feelings for him had over-stepped the boundaries of friendship into something more…intimate. So lost was I in my reveries that I hadn't heard his approach.

"Aragorn?" His voice was soft, questioning. "Do you realise how long you have been away from the camp? Everyone was beginning to wonder if something had happened to you." Legolas placed his hand on my shoulder, and I almost jumped at the touch. I moved away quickly, my pulse racing, my skin tingling where his hand had been

"I'm sorry Legolas. I seem to have lost track of time." I could hear how nervous I sounded, and I willed myself to remain calm. "Give me a moment to put on my shirt, and I will return to the camp with you."

"Your shirt, Aragorn, is fit for the fire. Surely you have another one?" The tone of amusement was evident in Legolas' voice. I looked down at the shirt in my hands, then glanced at Legolas, and smiled ruefully. "I think you may be right. I have a spare back at the camp, and it must do me till I return to Imladris." I turned, intending to make my way back, when his voice halted me.

"Aragorn…I wish to apologise for my behaviour earlier. As you rightly pointed out, I was not myself."

I looked back at him. "It's alright Legolas. This afternoon was stressful for all of us. Even Elves need to let go occasionally."

A frown marred his face. "But that is no excuse to behave as I did."

Sighing, I started to make my way back to the camp. ‘Damn you Legolas – must you try to be so perfect in everything? Must your façade always be flawless?' How I longed to shatter it, to bring his emotions to the surface, to release the passion within him…Gods, what was I thinking?!

"Aragorn?"

"Hmm? Oh…sorry, my thoughts were elsewhere." Looking back, I forced a smile to my face. "Let's get back to the camp before they send out a search party for us, shall we?" I moved away as quickly as possible, away from the cause of my tumultuous feelings as fast as I possibly could.

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Legolas' POV

It had been over an hour since Aragorn left, and I began to worry. Motioning to Saelbeth, I said: "Aragorn has been too long away from the camp. I'm going to look for him."

"Do you want me to come with you?" asked Saelbeth. "No, I will be alright on my own. The danger has passed for now." With that, I left and made my way to the stream.

I saw him as I approached – he was kneeling at the water's edge, seemingly lost in thought. While he had his breeches and boots on, his torso was bare, and I took the moment to look at him. I had seen him without a shirt on before, but now it took on a new meaning for me. His skin was darker than mine, and I knew without looking that hair covered his chest, a trait not shared by Elves. I could see faint scars on his back, and my fingers itched to trace them. I pushed these thoughts aside, and approached him.

"Aragorn? Do you realise how long you have been away from the camp? Everyone was beginning to wonder if something had happened to you." I stopped myself from saying ‘I' and replaced it with ‘everyone'.

I dared to put my hand on his shoulder, giving in to the impulse to touch him. I felt him flinch before he moved away from me, and I felt like crying. ‘Is my touch so unbearable to you, Aragorn?' I vaguely heard him apologising, saying to give him a moment to put on his shirt.

Looking at the material in his hands that he called a shirt, I could not help remarking: "Your shirt, Aragorn, is fit for the fire. Surely you have another one?" He smiled ruefully at me, telling me that he does, and turned away.

"Aragorn…" I swallowed as I watched him turn around. "I wish to apologise for my behaviour earlier. As you rightly pointed out, I was not myself."

"It's alright Legolas," he said. "This afternoon was stressful for all of us. Even Elves need to let go occasionally." I frowned. ‘Letting go' is something I wanted to do, but not in this manner. I wanted to let go in another way entirely… "But that is no excuse to behave as I did," I said.

I watched him as he continued on his way, then stopped, apparently lost in thought.

"Aragorn?"

"Hmm? Oh…sorry, my thoughts were elsewhere." His smile was forced, and mentioning something about the others sending out a search party for us, almost ran back to the camp. I stared after him and, dropping to my knees, I finally allowed the tears to fall…

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