Betrothal To An Elf
Part 13
Posted: August 24, 2007
Title: Betrothal To An Elf
Author: Inwë Sáralondë
Summary: Erestor continues his story.
*****
“Glorfindel?”
“Hmm?”
“I feel a little cold; will you hold me?”
Glorfindel looked at Erestor with some concern. “You have always been feeling cold of late. Should you not be seeing Elrond?”
The darkling elf shook his head. “No,” he said quietly. “For too long my thoughts have dwelt in the shadows; now that they have finally felt some warmth, they are loathe to return. And when they do, that is when I feel cold.”
Erestor’s vulnerability made Glorfindel feel suddenly more protective of his lover than before. What Gil-galad had done to the advisor had horrified the golden warrior. If the king was alive today, Glorfindel would have taken great pleasure in devising a suitable punishment for him, whether he was king or not.
“What are you thinking of?” Erestor’s voice was a whisper, yet his gaze searching, his mien sombre.
“Thinking of how I would mete out justice to Gil-galad if he was alive today,” Glorfindel answered truthfully.
“Do not,” Erestor replied tiredly. “What is done is done. Even if he was still alive, punishing him will not reverse what happened.”
“Yet you still feel guilt over his death, something you had absolutely nothing to do with.”
“I do not.”
“You do; do not skirt the issue, Erestor. Tell me, why did you keep a secret what Gil-galad did to you? Was it some sort of punishment you decided to mete out to yourself for your so-called guilt? Did you believe after Gil-galad died that you deserved what had been done to you?”
Erestor stared at Glorfindel. “I do not know,” he finally replied. “Mayhap I did.” He shifted slightly in his chair. “He was very good at belittling me, Glorfindel, to the point where I began to believe what he told me. He saw himself as my master, and I his slave. Anything I did was purely for his pleasure, and his alone. If he saw me with another elf, he accused me of being promiscuous. In the end, I was forbidden to be with another elf unless he was present. Otherwise, I would be punished.” The darkling elf’s voice was quiet, monotone.
“Even though I loved him, there were times when I felt I could no longer take any more. But he somehow always managed to sense this and, when he did, he would turn on the charm, and I would once more find myself under his thrall, allowing him to do to me whatever he wished.”
“Did anyone else know?”
Erestor thought momentarily of Elrond, but decided against mentioning to Glorfindel what the elf-lord had told him. He did not want Glorfindel to direct any of his animosity towards Elrond when, in truth, Elrond could not have done anything. Any attempt by the then Herald would only have resulted in Gil-galad’s wrath falling upon his head.
“No. Gil-galad was careful of the image he presented to his people.”
Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed; he suspected the Erestor was hiding something, but decided for now not to push the issue.
“I am glad you finally told me, melethen. I know this can not have been easy for you,” he said quietly.
“So am I.” The darkling elf made himself comfortable, laying his head on Glorfindel’s shoulder, and closed his eyes.
*****
Elvish translations:
melethen – my love
*****
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