Title: The Stubbornness of Dwarves (or why too may adjectives can delay a war)
Author: Haleth
Type: FCS
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Legolas/Gimli
Disclaimer: This is definitely not what JRR intended. But then, it's not what New Line intended either. Boy, it's a good thing I'm not making any profit from this, or someone might think I was being naughty.
Summary: Legolas and Gimli get sidetracked by their analysis of just what makes the different species in Middle Earth so different… and yet so very compatible. Legolas speaks first. Gimli replies. No one else gets a word in edgewise. (As it should be.)
Note: No real spoilers here. It's just a riff on a line. But I'll put a spoiler space just in case...

*****

... anyone doesn't know about Aragorn going into the mountain with
Legolas and Gimli.

I know everyone would rather wait months and months and months for the ROTK EE DVD to come out, but that bloody stubbornness of Dwarves comment was just begging to be extended. Thus…

The Stubbornness of Dwarves (or why too many adjectives can delay a war).

"You should know by now the stubbornness of Dwarves."

"Aye, stubbornness."

"And the staying power."

"Of course. How could he not know of the staying power? And the stubbornness."

"Everyone knows of the staying power. The tales are legendary."

"True, laddie. Everyone has heard the tales of the legendary staying power of us Dwarves."

"But they pale beside the stories of your recovery time."

"How could I forget? Yes, stubbornness, legendary staying power, and superior recovery time. Shouldn't we be following Aragorn into the mountain?"

"I forgot girth."

"Girth?"

"Oh yes, girth. Brilliant girth. Smashingly brilliant girth."

"Yes, well, I am a Dwarf, you know. The girth goes without saying."

"Of course. I just wanted to be certain everyone knew."

"Knew what?"

"About the stubbornness. And the renowned staying power. And the negligible recovery time. And the lovely, scrumptious girth. But now that it's settled, we can go into the mountain."

"Settled? I think not. The Dwarves enjoy all these qualities and more, but you do yourself an injustice."

"An injustice? How so, dear Gimli?"

"Why, the stubbornness, the celebrated staying power, the barely discernible recovery time and the, uh, girth; they are nothing without the incredible gracefulness of Elves."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, the extraordinary gracefulness makes it all worthwhile."

"You think?"

"I know. That and the unbelievable flexibility."

"I suppose that does have some impact on the matter."

"Hmm, yes, mind-boggling gracefulness, astonishing flexibility and, it goes without saying, but at the same time it begs to be said, the unparalleled imaginativeness."

"Unparalleled, you say?"

"Aye, I do."

"I beg to differ. Along with their stubbornness, staying power, recovery time and girth, I would have to say that Dwarves are highly imaginative."

"Perhaps. But not nearly as beautiful as Elves. Or should I say, one particular Elf."

"Oh, Gimli. You are such a romantic."

"Only because I am overwhelmed by your stupendous gracefulness, your miraculous flexibility, your incomparable imagination and your devastating beauty."

"That's so sweet."

"Yes, and you are sweet too. As sweet as honey on the tip of my tongue, as tasty as a…"

"Gimli?"

"Yes?"

"Where is Aragorn?"

"Oh. Um. I think he got tired of waiting and went into the mountain."

"Oh. Well, we should try to catch up to him, then."

"I don't think he was moving too fast. Maybe we have time."

"Time for what."

"Well, all this talk. My, um, girth is feeling a little stubborn."

"Ooh. Well, I think I can be flexible about this."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

*****

THE END

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