Posted: December 2003
Title: Pippin's Lovely Dream
Author: Haleth
Type: FCS
Rating: R
Characters: Merry/Pippin (Believe me, no one is more shocked than I)
Warning: Hobbit sex.
Disclaimer: See, if they'd let me write the script for the Two Towers it would have turned out completely different, but obviously they didn't and it didn't and I don't really have the right to write this but I do anyway as there is, I assure you, no profit involved. I mean, really, you think someone would pay money for this stuff?
Summary: Pippin didn't tell enough about his dream in the Extended Edition. So here is Pippin telling about the whole dream, and Merry's responses.

~*~*~*~

Pippin's Lovely Dream

"I had the loveliest dream last night."

(fond smile)

"We had a whole barrel of pipeweed and we smoked it all."

(wistful, dreamy look)

"And then you were sick."

(mild look of consternation)

"And I had to hold your hair off your face while you puked your guts out."

(intense look of consternation)

"Then you had the dry heaves, and you were holding your stomach in pain and crying."

(even more intense look of consternation, if that's possible)

"But then we lay back on a soft grassy hill, and I rubbed little circles on your back until you fell asleep and we had a long peaceful nap."

(relaxes into a smile, because that makes up for the earlier consternation)

"And then I woke up with the most tremendous hard-on."

(shocked)

"My little hobbit was like a huge tree trunk. It was so hard it hurt."

(appalled)

"I suppose it was all that Ent draft I drank. I was a little surprised when I grew to be 3 foot 8 tall, but I wasn't expecting nine and a half inches."

(shocked and appalled)

"And then you woke up, and you weren't hard at all."

(disappointment)

"Until you saw how big I was and then you got the most tremendous hard-on as well."

(relief)

"And then we pulled out both our hard-ons and rubbed them together, so we were like holding hands around them."

(silly grin)

"And we stroked them up and down together until we both cried out and this lovely sticky stuff came out of the ends."

(nods, as if he understands)

"And it tasted salty and sweet at the same time, when we licked it off our hands."

(doesn't quite understand, because he's never actually done that before)

"And when we ate it up we grew again."

(pause, waits for the rest of the dream)

(nothing from Pippin)

"Well."

"Well what?"

"Who was bigger?"

"Bigger than what?"

"Each other."

"I don't know, Merry. I suppose we'll have to compare."

"Now?"

"Treebeard won't be back for hours. I'd say this is as good a time as any."

Fade to Black

*****

THE END

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