Posted: September 2003
Title: Paperback Strider
Author: Haleth
Type: Humour
Characters: None
Rating: G
WARNING: Old fogey alert. If you are too young to know any Beatles songs you won't get this at all.
Disclaimer: Humble apologies to Tolkien and any Beatles, surviving or not. I'm just having a little giggle, so back off all you slimy record company executives!
The Silly Premise: What was JRR's REAL pitch to his publishers?

*****

Paperback Strider

Dear sir or madam will you read my book?
It took me years to write it, will you take a look?
Takes place in a world that I call Middle Earth,
There's a hero too,
And I want him to be Paperback Strider
Paperback Strider.

It's a dirty story of a dirty man,
But his girlfriend's father doesn't understand.
He's killing orcs, protecting little men.
He has many names,
But I want him to be Paperback Strider,
Paperback Strider, Paperback Strider.

It's two thousand pages, with more books to go
But I could cut it down to maybe three or so.
There's lots of poems, and a bunch of songs
But you can skip those parts,
If you'll let him become Paperback Strider,
Paperback Strider, Paperback Strider.

If you want I'll sell you all the movie rights,
It could make a million for you over night.
If you make three movies you'll earn even more
But I need a break,
And I want him to be Paperback Strider.
Paperback Strider, Paperback Strider

*****

THE END

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Haleth