Posted: April 2004
Title: Agents, Stars and…Smut
Author: Estella Greenleaf
Type: RPS
Characters: V/O
Rating: NC-17
Warning: AU
Disclaimer: These are all lies, nothing more than a figment of my imagination
Note: Another silly story in the tradition of my 'smut' pieces =)

*****

"For the last time, Dave, NO!" cried the inconspicuous figure spotting a plain white t-shirt and baggy jeans. In his frustration, he had forgotten that he was carrying a whole pile of files. When he lifted his arms to gesticulate, the said stack of papers fell onto the floor with a thud, which drew everyone's attention to their director and their profiler.

"They specifically ask for you, Orli. I can't say no," reasoned Dave, knowing that this assignment, while not in his colleague's taste, was a good opportunity to force the young man to expand his social life, which was non-existent.

Orli was the youngest profiler in Interpol's homicide division. A psychic as well as a genius, the young man got a Ph.D in criminal psychology at the age of eighteen. While his uncanny ability to see through the murderer's eyes was an invaluable asset in solving cases, it made other agents extremely uneasy. In other words, they avoided the profiler like a plague, nicknaming ‘spooky Orli'.

Being ever so considerate, the youth decided to do all he could to blend into the background furniture; after all, what his colleagues couldn't see couldn't make them uneasy... With black-rimmed glasses that dominated his face and nondescript clothing, the profiler had always managed to remain unnoticed…until today…

The captain's appraisal of his younger colleague was cut short when Orli retorted, "Dave, all I ever do is stare at dead people, in some form or another. When I'm not doing that, I play with Maude. What makes you think I have enough social skills to be a field agent?"

"I don't make the decisions, Orli. PJ wants you to be his ‘Elf'. And frankly, the way I see it, not liking this job is added incentive for you to find the killer faster," smiled Dave as he stooped to pick up the files and pushed them back into the young profiler's hand. He would pay their surveillance team a visit next, to ensure that Orli's back was ‘covered'. He was quite certain this would be a rather interesting show, probably more fun than the movie they were shooting.

*****

The first thing ‘they' did when Orli arrived at the make-up trailer was to SHAVE his head! Though the young man was not vain, he happened to like having some decent amount of hair… But unluckily for the agent, that was only the beginning of his torture. Next, ‘they' glued what felt like a dead animal onto his now-bald head. ‘They' stopped to take a long look at their handiwork; but since the profiler's glasses were taken away when he first arrived, everything was just a blur. Scanning the make-up artists' minds, however, told Orli all he needed to know. ‘They' were pleased with his transformation, which meant there would be more torture to come.

After two hours, with two pieces of irritating plastic in his eyes, skin caked in make-up and ears itching horribly from the prosthetics, Orli was of a mind that these people DESERVED to be murdered. It was in this foul mood that the director found the young agent. "Hello, I am Peter Jackson, the director of this film. I am very glad you can join us."

The sincerity in the director's voice made Orli felt a bit ashamed of his earlier thoughts. Not accustomed to talking to anyone other than Dave, he replied, "Thanks…umm…I mean, glad to be here…argh…"

"Ready to meet the rest of the Fellowship?" asked the portly Kiwi enthusiastically. The part of Legolas was offered originally to another actor; but after the second murder on the set, the man quitted. Peter could not really blame him; there were rumors that the next victim would be a cast member.

When Interpol told Peter that they would be sending an undercover agent to replace the actor, he handpicked the lithe Orlando to be his Elven Prince. Given that Legolas did not have many lines, the director was certain the agent, with his classical sculpted features, would do fine in the role. Now that he's seen the young man in costume, he suspected that he had uncovered the next ‘big thing' by chance…

"Yeah, as ready as I'll ever been," muttered the young agent as he followed Peter to the set, wondering all the while if he was walking to his doom.

*****

Unluckily for Orli, Peter was called away by the lighting director for an emergency meeting as soon as they arrived on set. This incident left the introvert standing alone at the edge of open courtyard where the Council of Elrond was to be shot. The youth tried to avoid drawing attention to himself; but he was about to discover that nothing could escape the keen eyes of an Elven Princess.

"Oh my god! Look at him! He is gorgeous!" giggled Liv as she gave the newcomer a glance-over.

"That's a movie-star in the making, right there!" chuckled Dom as he took in the tall, lithe form of their new castmate.

"Yeah, tall, beautiful, not a bit of hair anywhere on his face, definitely the next pin-up," agreed Sean A. as he pretended to swoon.

Viggo, ever the leader, noticed quickly how their bantering was making their Elf uncomfortable. While he completely agreed with the others in their assessment of this new Legolas, he did not want the shy creature to be scared by their antics. "Hey, stop teasing him."

Smiling, the American approached his new cast-mate and held out his hand, "I'm Viggo."

When the newcomer eyed his hand suspiciously, the actor grinned, "Don't worry, I won't bite."

The youth took the outstretched hand and said, "I'm Orli. I think I play Legolas."

Then came the smile that lit up the ‘Council Hall' and stole Viggo's heart. Immediately, the experienced actor knew his scenes with Liv would be more difficult in the future. It would be hard to pretend to love Arwen when his heart, and thus Aragorn's, belonged solely to another Elf, the gorgeous Prince of Mirkwood.

"It's nice to meet you, Orli," replied the older man with his best smile, hoping to make a good impression on his new object of affections.

"Yeah… so who are you…um…that doesn't sound right…hrm…what I mean is who do you play?"

"I play Aragorn, we'll have a lot of scenes together," said Viggo, very pleased that the extremely shy beauty had taken some interest in getting to know him more.

"Hey, Vig, stop monopolizing the Elf! We haven't been introduced yet!" cried Elijah as he bounced up to the conversing pair. Dragging a reluctant Orli away by the elbow, the young American actor smiled, "I'm Elijah, you can call me ‘Lij. I'm Frodo. Come this way, let introduce you to everyone else."

*****

"This is a bad idea!" whispered Orli into his hidden microphone as he sat in his parked car.

"You're the one who thinks the serial murderer is moving up the ranks. You're the one who says it will most likely be one of the principal actors. And that means your job is to watch over them. So, stop complaining and get in there! It's just dinner, it's not going to kill you," Dave replied, his voice coming through loud and clear into Orli's earpiece.

After letting out an exasperated sigh in protest, the profiler did as his captain ordered and headed into the restaurant. No matter what Dave said, coming to dinner was a very bad idea. It could be summarized in one word: Viggo. He liked the American actor way too much for his own good. During filming, he found himself hanging on the older man's every word instead of gathering information for his case. Any further interaction with Viggo would undermine his ability to perform his duty as an Interpol agent. And this he could not allow; he had to find the serial killer before another life was lost.

But it seemed that there was no fighting the tide. Every smile, every word drew Orli deeper into the chaotic world of emotions, made him fall more in love. He wondered if Viggo felt the same way too. Lost in his musing, the agent ran into a server carrying a tray of food. "Argh!" yelped Orli as the tray overturned and its contents emptied onto him and the unfortunate waitress.

Blushing profusely, the youth muttered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. Here let me help."

The agent proceeded to pull out a wad of Kleenex from his pocket and tried to clean the food off the girl's uniform. His actions inevitably brought his hands onto her bosoms, which earned him a slap on the face. "Let go of me, you pervert!"

Mortified, Orli's hands shot away from the waitress. "I didn't mean…I…"

Before the situation could deteriorate further for Orli, the object of his affections came to the rescue. "My apologies, miss. My friend didn't mean to offend you. It's just a misunderstanding."

Viggo's apologetic smile seemed to have placated the incensed waitress. Orli wasn't surprised; if the American smiled at him like that, he'd probably do anything the man asked. After glaring at the agent one more time, the girl nodded at Viggo as a sign that ‘all was forgiven' before turning to leave. As soon as she was out of earshot, the American looked at his co-star and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…thanks," stuttered Orli as he blushed under the other man's scrutiny. He really couldn't do this; his body was reacting in the most inappropriate way to Viggo's gaze…and in a public place no less. He had to get out of here now. "My shirt is ruined. I need to go…you know, change…"

"You seem a bit shaken still. Let me give you a ride," offered the American with an ingenuous smile. Dinner with the Fellowship was a common affair; alone time with the dark-haired beauty was not. He was not going to let this opportunity to get to know the shy Orli better go to waste.

Orli's brain wanted him to say no, afraid that he would do something to embarrass himself further in front of Viggo, or worse, say something to blow his cover, but his mouth refused to move. Instead, his head did, giving the other man a nod of assent. When the actor gave him a smile that threatened to turn his knees into Jello and led him out of the restaurant by his arm, Orli found himself praying silently, "Please, don't let anything go wrong!"

*****

Orli knew he was babbling. He had a genius IQ, but he couldn't for the life of him make sense when Viggo was sitting so close. The American didn't seem to mind; the other man was smiling at him, and making occasional comments. The ride was amicable enough, but the agent's heart wouldn't stop pounding. His thoughts kept drifting to what might happen when they reached his place.

Orli already knew he would invite Viggo in. But was the American interested in him in ‘that way'? What if Viggo was just being friendly? Usually, the profiler would be able to tell using his psychic abilities, but his attraction to the other man was making it impossible to concentrate.

Then, there was the fact that he was technically on duty. Even now, Dave and the surveillance team could hear everything they said. If indeed Viggo was interested, they couldn't really do anything with the other agents listening to every sound they make… that would just be too embarrassing.

The agent's musing was interrupted when the car stopped and Viggo asked, "This is it, right?"

Gathering all his courage, Orli asked, "Yeah. Want to come in?" There he said it! He would worry about everything else later.

When Viggo didn't reply immediately, the agent quickly stuttered, "I mean, umm, you missed dinner, yeah? I have some vegetarian lasagna…and I thought… if you don't want…"

Before Orli could continue with his chattering, Viggo captured his hand and brought it to his lips. The young man gasped as the contact was made, his entire body tingling from the American's chaste kiss.

Holding Orli's eyes with his steely grey orbs, the American whispered, "I'd love to join you."

Viggo's gaze was smoldering and tender at the same time, full of promises of untold pleasures. Orli blushed, his heart suddenly racing and his mouth dry. He had hoped that the other man would return his feelings, but he'd never thought the actor would be *this* attracted to him. This was like a dream come true.

"Great," Orli said as he bounced out of the car and led the way to his house.

The agent's hands were shaking quite badly; he had never been so nervous in his entire life. He wasn't exactly a virgin; he's been with a man before. But he'd only done it, on the night of his graduation party with this quarterback he had a huge crush on. And that's an experience he'd rather forget, as it involved his half-drunken partner shoving roughly in and out of him before passing out. He could only hope it would be better with Viggo…

*****

"You want anything to drink? I don't have much though, just juice, soymilk and water," offered the agent as he rummaged through his refrigerator.

Viggo could tell the young man was nervous; he knew that was probably why Orli had been bustling about the rented house instead of sitting beside him. The American was in general a patient man, liking to take things slowly and savor every moment. But he knew he loved the dark-haired beauty and that the feeling was requited; he saw no reason to prolong this uneasy charade. He strolled to Orli and put his arms loosely around him.

The agent spun round immediately as Viggo's strong arms encircled his waist. This felt so good. Licking his lips in anticipation, he whispered, "Viggo…"

That was all the prompting Viggo needed to claim the dark-haired beauty's lips. Gently, his tongue coaxed the cupid's bows to part, granting entry into the youth's sweet mouth. With leisurely strokes, he explored the cavern, tongue waltzing with Orli's as he drunk in the dark-haired beauty's taste. His hands drifted underneath the young man's shirt and caress the silken skin. As his nimble digits roamed Orli's well-defined body, they encountered something Viggo did not expect…a hidden microphone.

The American had heard of unsuspecting celebrities being lured to bed and secretly videotaped. He'd never thought he would be an intended victim of such a scheme, nor could he believe beautiful Orli would do such a horrible thing. But he could not deny the evidence against the youth. Incensed by the dark-haired beauty's deception, Viggo yanked the microphone out of its hiding place and pushed the youth away. "What's the meaning of this?"

Orli could not believe he had forgotten he was on duty and was wearing surveillance equipment! But then, all thoughts sort of went out the window when Viggo kissed him. "Viggo, please. I can explain," pleaded the agent desperately as he tried to touch the older man's hand.

Jerking away violently, the American hissed, "Don't touch me." He didn't want to hear more of the youth's lies. His heart was breaking over the dark-haired beauty's betrayal, but he would not let a blackguard like Orli see how much he had been hurt. He would hold onto his anger and march out of here. He would forget that he had ever fallen for the treacherous beauty. Without further hesitation, Viggo proceeded to do just that.

*****

There was nothing Orli could do except watch Viggo leave. Now that his brain function had returned completely, he knew he couldn't give the other man a feasible explanation of the presence of the microphone. He was here as an undercover agent; he couldn't tell Viggo that, no matter how much he wanted to. It was hopeless.

The agent sat dejectedly on his kitchen floor. He pulled his soiled shirt over his head and began re-taping the microphone to its original place. He let out a sigh as he sensed someone entered his house. Without turning, he said, "I'm sure he doesn't suspect I'm an Interpol agent, Dave. He wouldn't have left like that if he did. My cover is safe."

Dave watched Orli for a moment longer before making his decision. His superiors probably wouldn't be too happy with this if they found out, but the director happened to like the young profiler quite a bit and couldn't bear seeing him so unhappy. "It doesn't matter, really. I don't see how him knowing about your true identity will hurt our investigation anyway."

Orli turned to stare at his superior officer in shock. Did Dave just give him permission to explain everything to Viggo? "So, are you saying you won't mind if I tell him the truth?"

"You're the mind-reader, you tell me," replied Dave as he rolled his eyes. When the profiler leapt off the ground to give him a flying hug, he added affectionately, "Go on; go get your man. You have the night off."

*****

Orli felt as if his heart was about to lurch out of his chest as he stood outside Viggo's house. He's never been so scared before. He didn't know why he was so afraid of the other man's rejection, but he couldn't help feeling this sudden urge to turn and run. Gathering all his courage, he knocked.

The door opened to reveal an annoyed Viggo. "What do you want? I don't want to see you."

Orli's unease grew. Though his mind was clouded by his feelings for Viggo, the agent was experienced enough to know the warning in his mind couldn't be due to the fear of losing the other man. There was something else; something was wrong…

"Can I come in? I swear I'll leave you alone as soon as I say my piece."

Orli didn't want to leave the object of his affections alone. He was certain the killer was after one of the cast. And though he couldn't sense any overwhelming hatred or bloodlust from the beings nearby, a shadow of a threat was growing in his mind. Add that on top of the fact that he himself seemed unreasonably apprehensive of Viggo's house, he was almost sure that danger lurked within, waiting for the actor.

"I'm not interested in your lies, Orli," replied the older man, slamming the door shut in the younger one's face.

Orli had never been bold in his entire life, but he cared too much about Viggo to allow anything to happen to him. With the quick reflexes developed in Interpol's physical training course, he threw his body weight against the door before it shut and crashed into the hallway. "I'm not going to let you run from me!"

Viggo turned to confront his unwanted guest and was surprised when Orli lunged towards him, bringing them both to the ground. He was about to shake the youth off him when the sound of gunshots reverberated in the halls.

"Stay down," whispered the agent as his eyes scanned for the location of the attacker. Now he knew why he couldn't pick up the serial killer's emotions when he was outside; the murderer was a professional assassin. That also explained why all Orli could detect in the evidence from the previous killings was cold detachment.

The agent pulled his hidden .38 from his ankle holster and fired. The cry of pain followed the shot; and Orli rose to a crouch. He'd never thought he would be able to aim so well with his contact lens on. Maybe they weren't so bad, after all…

Staying low, Orli walked to the fallen assassin to check his injuries. He had shot the man in the shoulder; while painful, the wound was not fatal, which was of course a good thing, since Orli didn't know what he would do if he'd actually killed the man. Even if it were his duty, he probably would never forgive himself. "Viggo, call the police."

The American did as he was told in a daze. He couldn't believe someone had tried to kill him.
What's even more unbelievable was that Orli had actually shot the guy who tried to shoot them. Maybe, the young man wasn't who Viggo thought he was, which would mean that he had misjudged Orli horribly earlier in the night… if that was the case, would the dark-haired beauty forgive him for his callousness? Did he still have a chance to be with the one who stole his heart at first sight? These questions were too much for Viggo's befuddled mind right now. He would save them for tomorrow.

*****

Orli took a deep breath and stepped into the make-up trailer. It had been two weeks since his last visit here. Some loose ends needed to be tied up in his case before he could return. He still could not believe Peter wanted him to remain in this movie; nor could he believe Dave actually managed to convince the Board of Directors of the Interpol to let him stay with the production. But, the director of the homicide division was an extremely persuasive man if he wanted to be; and given that the first ‘butcher of Wellington' was a mafia hitman hired by a competing company to sabotage the production, it would be safest for all concerned to have a psychic profiler around for the reminder of the shoot.

After a two-hour make-up session, the agent was once again transformed into an Elven Prince. Orli still disliked intensely the prosthetics; but Dave had commented on how ‘pretty' Orli looked as Legolas, and the young man wanted to look his absolute best for his reunion with Viggo.

The agent hadn't had time to talk to the American before he was whisked away to the Interpol Wellington Headquarters; but he had a feeling the object of his affections would no longer be angry with him now that his true identity had been revealed. Perhaps Viggo would like to resume where they left off that other night in the kitchen…that would certainly make Orli a very happy man.

*****

Viggo thought he had strayed into a dream when he entered the trailer. Before him sat Orli in his makeup chair, in full Legolas gear. The love of his life whom he thought he had lost had come back to him. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming before rushing forward to kneel at the young man's feet. "Oh Orli, I'm so sorry. I…"

The American was silenced when Orli reached out and traced his jaw. It was clear that, though his apology was unfinished, all was forgiven. Emboldened by the exquisite beauty's touch, Viggo rose and leant into the youth, claiming his lips in a searing kiss. Raw need pulsed through the actor's veins as he felt Orli part his lips for him. Tongue thrusting into the agent's mouth in a primal rhythm of lust, Viggo marked the hot cavern as his territory.

Orli moaned as the older man's nimble fingers ghosted over his arousal. Legolas' tight leggings were becoming unbearably uncomfortable. Luckily, Viggo shared his sentiments; without breaking the kiss, the actor went about the painstaking process of unlacing the said garment. It was not long before Orli's manhood was free from its confines. The agent sighed in relief, but it quickly turned into a gasp of surprised pleasure when Viggo slid down to bestow loving kisses upon his heated shaft.

Holding his lover's hips, Viggo teased Orli's length with licks and kisses, driving him insane with lust. He then traced the youth's tight sacs with his tongue, before drawing them in turn into his mouth, suckling gently as his tongue continued its teasing. He wanted to draw out their pleasure for as long as possible, but Orli's moans told him the youth couldn't last much longer.

Relinquishing his claim over his lover's sacs, Viggo moved to take the youth's manhood into his mouth. He didn't try to hold his lover down when the young man buckled upwards and pushed his shaft all the way into his wet heat. He simply relaxed his throat and allowed Orli to set the pace, suckling and licking as his lover thrust into his mouth. Leaving only one hand on Orli's hip, he freed his own aching arousal from his jeans and began pumping the length in time with his lover's thrusts. It was not long before the lovers' found their release; Orli's soft cry of ecstasy filling the small trailer before all was still again.

Viggo cleaned himself off with tissue before scooting onto the youth's make-up chair. He pulled Orli into a tight embrace and whispered, "I know it sounds corny, but I want you to know that I've loved you since I first saw you."

Snuggling closer to his handsome lover, Orli replied, "I suppose we make quite a pair then, because I fell in love with you pretty much at first sight too."

"So you'll stay with me, now that you're back?" the actor asked as he took a strand of Legolas' hair and curled it around his fingers. Viggo knew Orli had just professed his love, but he couldn't help being a little nervous, as he waited for the agent's answer.

"Yes, and for longer, if a star like you wants a nerd like me around," answered Orli as he held his lover's eyes.

"That sounds wonderful to me," whispered Viggo as he gave his beloved a loving kiss. A life with the one he loved, he really couldn't ask for more.

*****

*~*~~ And they lived happily ever after ~~*~*

THE END

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Estella Greenleaf