Blizzard

Blizzard

Posted: August 3, 2007
Title: Blizzard
Author: Enide
Type: FCS
Characters: Gimli/Legolas
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Tolkien owns them; I’ll play with them, but return them (relatively) unharmed…
Warning: Absolutely silly! And rather cute
Authors note: This is ridiculous, I know, but I just couldn’t help my self.

Summary: The fellowship is caught in the blizzard on Caradhras. SOMETHING is happening between the elf and the dwarf, but what? Is it some innocent hair braiding, or something far lustier?

*****

”I still can’t believe I am doing this.” The complaining voice of an Elf carried momentarily over the growing blizzard of Caradhras.

“Well, you did volunteer. Everyone else just looked away and ignored me when I asked for some help.” There was a sulking tone in the Dwarf’s voice, indicating that he did not at all understand why his request had been met by such a cold response.

“There was nothing voluntary about it! You really think *I* would want to help you with such a…personal matter?! And what do you need help for, anyway? Everyone else takes care of themselves when the need arises.”

“Oh yes, and look where that has got them! The hobbits won’t need it for years to come, while Aragorn looks like he is desperate for it, but nobody ever showed him how to do, and Gandalf probably has not got it done in *years*, if not ages. I am not ending up like them. And why are you here, if you did not volunteer?”

“Gandalf told me that he would clout me over the head with his staff if I did not ‘stop prancing around on top of the snow and be of some real use’. And then he added ‘Because we all know you do it all the time, so there is no getting away from this one, Elf’. Useless old git.”

“Ha! Hahahaha….aouch!”

“Tread lightly, Dwarf! Remember just what you are about to put in to my hands!”

“Hmf. Alright, I am sorry. But I think we are far enough away from the fellowship now. Let’s get started.”

“Why did we have to do it so far away from the others?” There was a faint metallic sound of some kind of garment being shredded and a hastily repressed shiver from the Dwarf. It was now snowing quite heavily.

“Well, perhaps you Elves like to flaunt it all over the place, but we Dwarves like to tend to these matters in private!”

“Aha! Ashamed, are you? Well, if mine looked anything as dry and dull as that….alright, alright! Lower the axe! I was only joking. Really, it looks much better than I feared. Much longer and thicker. And what colour!”

“Of course. I am quite proud of it.”

“You should be.” There was a surprised sincerity in the Elf’s voice and then the sound of nimble hands working. A few grunts could be heard from the Dwarf.

“You are really good at this. Could you go just a little lower? That’s just it!”

“As Gandalf pointed out, I find it quite hard to go a day without doing it. But yours is really amazing. I have never seen anything like it before.”

“Not a day without! So it is true what they say about Elves! Ah, would you do that again? It feels so good…”

“Sure, it is true.” There was some sniggering, from both of them. “And it is not as if I would like any of the others in the fellowship to do it for me. Well, Boromir perhaps. He seems to have his quite under control.”

“Boromir! He doesn’t have enough for you!” Now there was an almost jealous tone in the Dwarf’s voice.

“It is not always the size that matters.” There was a hint of admiring in the Elf’s voice as his hands kept up their work. “But sometimes it is.”

There was silence as both their attentions were caught up in what they were doing, apart from the small sounds that always follow such things. When at last the Dwarf sighed heavily, the Elf pulled back, and they were done.

“I never thought I would say this to an Elf, but thank you.” There was a small hesitation, then admittance. “I have never had any better.”

“Coming from you, that is a great compliment. And I must confess I did rather enjoy it. Perhaps…next time, I won’t be so reluctant.”

“Perhaps next time, you will let me do the same for you?” There was shyness in the question.

“A Dwarf and an Elf doing one another!” Elven laughter echoed over the mountain. “What will the stories think of this?”

“Sod the stories, they always get everything wrong anyway. Who cares if they think it is unnatural? It feels good, so we should keep on doing it!”

“We will see. Maybe next time.”

“You are an Elf. Next time for you is tomorrow!”

“Maybe I did exaggerate a little bit….”

“Not Man enough…Elf enough to stand for your word, are you?”

“Every day or every other day, I still outdo you!”

Friendly bickering, they turned back the path to where the rest of the fellowship was waiting.

*****

THE END

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