Posted: May 25, 2007
Title: Bent But Not Broken
Author: Decadence and Sileya
Type: RPS
Characters: Craig/Karl
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We don’t know them, and we don’t claim to. We just like their faces and names.
Beta: The irreplaceable sirkayem

Summary: After a terrible accident on the job, Karl needs his best friend’s support like never before.

*****

Staring up blankly at the bland ceiling, Karl’s usually positive attitude finally gave out.

He’d been in this hospital bed for a week, and the doctors had brought up surgery again. Again. And him not remembering the emergency surgery the first night he was here wasn’t all that reassuring.

Although his parents had called, there was no one to come visit him - his son was halfway around the world, there was no way his son’s mother could drop everything and fly to America just to see him. The nurse said some of the crew had stopped by the first couple days, but Karl had been too drugged to remember it. The director visited yesterday to give him the bad news - his part was being recast. So, alone, unemployed and possibly permanently injured, hell yeah, his positive attitude was giving out.

Craig double-checked the room number he’d scrawled onto the back of a receipt when his manager had called him late last night. Karl was down. Karl was way down. Knowing that he’d want to know, she’d called him, probably also knowing he’d drop everything to go make sure Karl would be okay since she was in New Zealand in the middle of casting another show. 519...521...there it was, at the end of a darkened hallway. 523. Approaching the door slowly, he peeked through the opening, seeing only a dimly lit room. A pair of legs lay stretched down the standard-issue hospital bed, but that was all Craig could see. He touched the door, sending it open a bit further.

Used to the nurses coming and going at all hours, Karl didn’t even look. He was too busy brooding about his options. Unfortunately, he couldn’t really make any sort of plans until the doctors either told him he would walk again or that he’d be in a wheelchair. Gritting his teeth at the thought, he felt slightly nauseous. Damn freak accident, being thrown from a horse. And now he was kept drugged up enough so that he could hardly move, and the brace wrapped around his waist and back pretty much ensured he would be staring at the ceiling for a while longer.

At first, the sight of Karl was deceptive. In the darkened room, he looked hale and hearty against the pure white sheets. As he stepped closer, though, Craig could see the pale gray wash that covered the normally glowing complexion. He could also see the bulky medical equipment peeking from beneath the sheet that covered Karl to his waist.

When the nurse didn’t rush right over as usual, Karl slowly turned his head to see what was going on - and he froze, peering through the dim light to the eerily familiar figure in the doorway. “Cr...Craig?” His voice, rough from disuse and abuse from the breathing tube removed just yesterday, reflected his disbelief.

At the soft, hoarse tone, Craig stepped close enough to grip Karl’s hand where it rested above his waist. “Oh Karl - the trouble you get into without me...”

Blinking in shock, Karl’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit! Craig! Where...how?” He looked over his longtime friend’s face as he threaded their fingers together and squeezed.

“Did you forget that we share a manager?” Craig’s eyebrow lifted slightly, a typical expression on the Kiwi’s face. Tugging a chair over near the bed, he sat down, still holding Karl’s hand tightly. “Does it really matter? Point is that I’m here. I’m here for you, Karl.”

Karl’s eyes were glazed by drugs and pain. “Vera. I didn’t even think...damn. It’s great to see you, mate,” he replied, head leaned to the side so he could see Craig.

Craig moved the rail down carefully, leaning over so that Karl wouldn’t have to strain to see him in the dimly lit room. The sight scared him. It seemed if Karl had already given up, that he had no fight left in him. “You didn’t have to do this to get to see me,” he joked, his voice tight as the man he’d admired for so long lay there in pain. “You could’ve just called and I’d have come as soon as possible.”

Snorting quietly, Karl actually smiled slightly, though it didn’t last. “Guess I’m just an attention hound,” he answered weakly, hating the tight feel of his chest and how he couldn’t move. His face crumpled a little as he looked at one of his best buddies - friends for the long term, even after long periods apart. “The docs...they aren’t sure I’m gonna get over this one,” he murmured, referring to spills and injuries of the past that he’d always healed up from.

“You will,” Craig encouraged the hurting man, dipping his head to press a kiss against the smooth surface of his hand. “And if you don’t get over it in the way you expect to, you’ll still be my Karl. Right?” He hoped that his emotions weren’t too transparent at the moment. Karl had enough to deal with without the problem of a lovesick friend.

Karl sighed, Craig’s presence a balm to his hurting emotions and a comfort to his sharp loneliness. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed this man while he jetted all over the world, trying to kick up his career - one that was probably over now. “Yeah, I’ll still be yours, long as you want me,” he said, voice cracking a little. His friendship with Craig was something he’d always been able to count on. He hoped like hell it could survive now.

“I’ll always want you,” Craig replied in a slightly rough tone, the words coming too close to his actual feelings. He kissed Karl’s hand again, nuzzling his face against it as he tried to reconcile this Karl with the Karl he last saw.

Karl sighed and gazed at Craig, tightening his hand. He could comprehend the worry in his friend’s eyes. “Guess I don’t look so great, huh?” he asked.

“You look worse hung-over,” Craig grinned, forcing some levity into the mix. “At least you’re not puking on me right now.”

Mouth quirking slightly, Karl chuckled lowly. “Yeah, I’m so drugged that nothing’s gonna spasm. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll forget to blink or breathe.” He looked over Craig’s face. “You look tired. What time is it? Where were you?”

Craig peered at his watch, still set on London time. “I was in London. It’s about...2:30 a.m. here.” Craig met Karl’s gaze, allowing himself to stare for a bit under the circumstances before shrugging and pointing to all of the monitors surrounding Karl. “I imagine that’s what these are for, right? To keep that magnificent body of yours functioning?”

Snorting again, Karl nodded slightly. “Yeah. I was on a ventilator the first few days while I was unconscious. They weren’t sure what was damaged in my back. Can you believe it? Tumble down a rocky cliff and get landed on by a horse, and no broken bones besides that.”

“You’re tough as a pack mule, Karl. I can believe that you have no broken bones besides that. I’m surprised that you’re still laying here and that you don’t have a pert young nurse pushing you about, flashing your bum at her through the back of your gown.” Craig smiled sweetly at Karl, his thumb rubbing circles on the hand beneath his.

Instead of joking along, Karl felt his amusement drain away, and he just felt exhausted. “I’m not sure I’ll come outta this one, either,” he croaked, eyes going distant.

“You will,” Craig mumbled, holding his tears at bay. “You have to.” The ‘I need you’ part remained unspoken.

Karl’s eyes slowly came back into focus. He could see how upset Craig was, and even through the haze of the drugs, it struck him. “Someone would think you want me to stick around,” he teased poorly, pulse fluttering a little.

Craig flashed a helpless grin at Karl before burying his face next to the other man’s hand. “I do want you to hang around. Nobody else will put up with me,” he murmured intently, inhaling Karl’s scent, made slightly sterile by the hospital disinfectants.

“What?” Karl objected. “But...you’re a great actor, you’re a even better friend, and...and...” he flailed for words before settling on “and you’re cute!”

Craig’s head shot up at that, a light pink shade flushing the apples of his cheeks. “Awww... you think I’m cute?” He beamed at Karl for a moment. “I’m glad you noticed. I’ve always thought I was rather attractive, but I pale in comparison to some of the company I keep.” He raised an arched brow again, leaning back to grin at Karl.

Used to the compliments, Karl rolled his eyes. “You’re such a mate, coming all this way to see me,” he said, smiling honestly for the first time in a week. “Thanks.”

” ‘s nothing, Karl,” Craig flushed again, dipping his head. “I’d like to think you’d do it for me, situations reversed and all.”

“I would,” Karl said immediately, knowing it was true. Craig had been there for him in the past, and he’d returned the favor a few times. His brow furrowed a little as he wondered why. Wasn’t there a limit to being friends, even best friends? “How...how long can you stay?” he whispered, already feeling the depression threatening again.

“Theatre run ended last Saturday night. My schedule is clear for a couple of months before the next play. How long do you need me?” Craig asked, the answer he longed to hear, forever, bouncing around in his mind.

Karl hoped the sudden wanting inside him wasn’t visible in his eyes. “Might be a long time,” he said quietly. “I’m gonna need...I want...” he stopped to lick his lips. “I’m scared,” he whispered.

Craig moved from his seat near the bed, lifting Karl’s hand up to carefully sit on the edge of the bed. He placed the hand lightly on his thigh before leaning across to envelop Karl in a warm hug. “Whatever you need, it’s yours. If it’s in my power to give it, I will.” He whispered hoarsely, face buried in Karl’s dark hair.

“Craig,” Karl whispered as he closed his arms around the other man, hugging him as best he could without being able to move his torso or legs. “God. I need you here, man. I do,” he murmured brokenly. “I don’t have anyone else.”

“You have me,” Craig replied in a comforting voice, wincing at the undertones of that admission, and how true it really was.

Unwilling to let go, Karl had to anyway when his arms started to tingle painfully. “Damn, Craig. What did I do to deserve you?”

Realizing Karl’s predicament, Craig leaned back, massaging the other Kiwi’s muscular forearms as he joked. “Dunno - but it must’ve been pretty bad. Karma’s a bitch, she is...”

Blinking in confusion, Karl even said, “Huh?” before Craig’s joke registered. “Ah, funny guy. Yeah.” He watched Craig work on his arms. “I should have stayed in touch more,” he finally mentioned.

Craig remained silent for a moment, uncharacteristically, before looking up at Karl once more. “People grow apart,” he ventured, looking back down as his fingertips tickled inside Karl’s elbow. “But I wouldn’t be against more touching,” he teased lightly before looking up again, “if keeping in touch is what you want.”

Karl thought about the crush he’d had on Craig, years and years ago, when they first met. He’d never said a thing, and it had faded over time as they became close friends. But now, he wondered if it had faded at all. It had just changed some, adapted. Grown. Matured into something else. His lips quirked into a small smile. “I’m thinking I’m gonna be needing a lot of touching in the very near future,” he murmured.

Craig’s face reflected Karl’s smile. “Then I’ll be sure to stay very close.” It felt comfortable to fall back into their routine of casual flirting. If only it wasn’t as casual as it seemed. It was serious, at least on his part. He watched Karl’s eyes reflect a bit more of the light they’d held the last time he’d seen him...hell - had it been three years?...three years ago.

Unaware of how similar their thoughts were, Karl shifted his head a little so he could see Craig better. “I know we’ve talked a lot on the mobile...but when was the last time we got together? I’m drugged, you gotta cut my memory some slack,” he said, his voice betraying his exhaustion.

“Over three years ago,” Craig mused. “Just after Rings won all of those Oscars. Those were the days.” He smiled wistfully, remembering how much time they’d had together during filming.

“I miss those days,” Karl murmured, thinking back to the time spent on Rings filming. “It was magical.”

Craig nodded, his mind waxing nostalgic as his hands forgot to massage, instead, lightly caressing Karl’s arms. “It was. Sometimes I wish that we’d had more time...that it was ten movies instead of three.”

“That was what Xena was like, remember? Like going home each and every time, seeing old friends, being comfortable in the crazy costumes, all the sex...” he chuckled. “Quite a bit like Rings, actually.”

Craig’s face twisted a bit at the mention of sex. Apparently there’d been more going on than he’d been aware of. Instead of questioning, he nodded his head, unwilling to let Karl see his true thoughts on the matter.

Karl sighed. “Wasn’t as lonely on Xena, though. Everyone on Rings paired off...” he said wistfully, staring up at the ceiling again.

“You didn’t?” Craig asked, curiosity piqued at Karl’s morose response. “I thought that you and Sean...” His voice trailed off as he re-examined his memories of the time.

“Me and Sean?” Karl looked over at Craig. “Nah. We just sat at the pub and drank a lot, then went home and drank more. Talked about our kids. Watched the footie.” He wasn’t offended by Craig thinking he’d been having sex with Sean. Looking back, it might have gone well, now that he thought about it. But it never occurred to him at the time. He was too busy wondering who Craig was with. Hugo. Surely David. Maybe even Marton.

Craig nodded in agreement. Lord knows he’d heard all about kids from Hugo and David on a daily basis as he shepherded their attempts to ‘get together’. It was more than enough to reinforce his decision to NOT have kids. “How is Hunter, anyway?”

Breaking into the smile of a proud dad, Karl slid his hand into Craig’s again. “He’s playing football! It’s an after school program, but he says he really likes it. Nat had some of these photo cards made up of him, like a football trading card with his number and stats - I had it in my wallet, I’ll show you soon.”

“You’d better,” Craig smiled, his fingers tightening around Karl’s. “I’m sure he’s as handsome, if not more so, than his father.”

Karl chuckled. “His hair has finally grown out from getting that Mohawk that I did for Riddick,” he said, squeezing Craig’s hand before he yawned.

The thought of Hunter or Karl with a Mohawk made Craig grin. “I’m keeping you awake,” he whispered upon seeing the yawn. “I should probably go find a hotel.” His tone was regretful, and he seemed unwilling to let Karl’s hand slip from his grasp.

“ ‘s late...there’s another bed there, that would be good just for tonight, yeah?” Karl proposed hopefully. He could hardly keep his eyes open, but he didn’t want Craig to disappear and be a dream.

Craig glanced at the other bed, thinking it was too far away even though it was only about four feet in distance from Karl’s. “I guess it’d be difficult to find a hotel at...three in the morning?” He turned back to face Karl, leaning over long enough to press a kiss to his dearest friend’s forehead. “I’ll stay. You sleep?”

“Promise you’ll be here?” Karl croaked, feeling awfully childish.

“I promise. I’ll stay until you kick me out.” Craig grinned, running his thumb over Karl’s brow.

“Not ever gonna happen,” Karl murmured, eyes already closed and mostly asleep, still clutching Craig’s hand.

Craig sat back down in the chair, rubbing Karl’s fingers until the other man drifted off. “I hope not,” he whispered. “I really hope not.”

==

Karl blinked awake as the nurse took his vitals and changed out his I.V. He smiled at her sleepily and felt like he was forgetting something. Then the nurse spoke up. “Who’s your friend, Mr. Urban?”

Hearing the quiet murmur of a feminine voice, Craig blinked his eyes open and tried to rub the fuzziness from them. He rose up onto his elbows, looking over at Karl in the morning light.

Karl turned his chin to follow the nurse’s gesture, and he stared at the sight, murmuring quietly, “Craig.”

The nurse smiled to the other man. “Nice to see this guy has a friend somewhere,” she said drolly.

“Karl?” Craig questioned, looking at the nurse as if the answer should be more than apparent. “I’m not his only friend. I think he has one more, but he’s probably in New Zealand on a dairy farm somewhere.”

Unable to reach out and smack the back of Craig’s head like he would normally, Karl settled on sticking his tongue out at his friend. The nurse tried to hide her grin. “Well then,” she said. “Maybe you’ll be good for our patient’s mood then. He’s got some rough days ahead.” She patted Karl’s hand.

Shaking his head sadly, Craig murmured drolly, “You should have hired some strippers. Karl can never keep a straight face around naked flesh...” He tsked as if the thought offended him.

Karl rolled his eyes. “I heard that,” he said, shaking his head minutely. “It was only that ONE time, and you won’t let me forget it...and Harry was way more drunk than I was.”

“That’s his other friend,” Craig whispered theatrically to the nurse before taking on a normal tone once more. “Rough days? Glad to be of service. Can I still kick his arse if he needs it?”

The nurse chuckled. “Absolutely. Course, we have to get him on his feet so you can get AT his rear,” she said, poking Karl in the arm. “So don’t you give up. Still lots of hope around,” she added, obviously familiar with Karl’s injuries.

Craig waggled his eyebrows comically. “She said I could get at your rear,” he joked toward Karl before turning back to the nurse. “Can I get that in writing?”

“Hey, that’s my arse you’re talking about!” Karl objected as Craig and nurse walked to the door of his room, laughing and talking softly.

“Seriously, I’m glad you’re here,” the nurse told Craig. “Anything you need, just let me know. The next week will be particularly tough as he goes into surgery again.”

“Visiting hours?” Craig questioned softly, highly doubting he’d observe any official hours anyway.

The nurse just wrinkled her nose. “We’re a private facility. We make allowances for individual patients.” She held the clipboard to her chest. “He’s all taken care of financially, by the studio and by insurance, but he’s a really long way from home, and there’s no way to get him there without fixing him up first. I hate that we can’t get any family here.”

Craig nodded, trying to think of a way to try to get Karl’s family in the country. “I’ll be here for him,” he promised, meaning every word of it. “For as long as it takes. I’ll make sure he gets back home to his family.”

With a nod, the nurse shook Craig’s hand. “Thank you. I’ll be back in a few hours. If you or Mr. Urban need anything before then, he’s got a buzzer.” With that she turned and walked down the hall to the next room.

Meandering over to Karl’s bed, Craig passed it by in favor of pushing the curtains back and letting the morning sun shine into the gloomy room. “Tired of this hospital food? In the mood for something palatable?”

Karl looked at the tray the nurse had set down when she first arrived. “Hadn’t thought about it, I guess,” he admitted. “Nothing much tastes right with all the meds I’m on.” He blinked and squinted as the sun poured into his room, totally transforming it. What he had assumed was a dull, white hospital room really wasn’t -- it was decorated in tasteful Southwestern colors and could almost be a hotel room. He looked around curiously. “What kind of hospital is this?” he muttered.

“A private facility,” Craig turned from the window, preening like a nurse, shoving his chest out. In his best feminine drawl, he added, “You’ll be well cared for here, Mr. Urban.”

Just like Craig wanted, Karl chuckled and grinned. “Private facility, huh? Pretty fancy digs. You could practically stay here, couldn’t you?” Karl said, noting the bed his friend had sprawled on was full-sized, there was an armoire entertainment system, a desk and chair, and from what he could only sort of see, the bathroom looked to be complete.

Craig glanced around the room as well, shrugging. “I will practically be staying here until you leave. Good thing it’s nice and paid up already.” He flashed a grin at Karl.

Karl shrugged from his place in the bed. Frowning, he felt around on each side of him and came up with a remote and used it to raise the head of his bed a little more. He couldn’t really bend at the waist, but a little more angle made it easier to see Craig. “I’ll do what I can to keep you entertained,” Karl said.

“Maybe I should entertain you,” Craig teased, moving to sit on Karl’s bed when the other man had to strain to see him. “Maybe a strip tease or a floor show or something...”

Thinking about Craig stripping for him actually made Karl blush, and when he realized, he blushed harder. Craig reached out and tweaked Karl’s flushed cheek. “Oh, did I make weedle Karlie blush?”

Karl couldn’t help but smile as he pushed at Craig’s thigh. “Wanker,” he muttered, but there was light in his eyes.

“Oh yeah,” Craig grinned. “Long and hard, without repentance. Speaking of wanking, how about I make you a promise?” He caught Karl’s hand against his thigh, holding it there.

Eyes getting big, Karl couldn’t help but think of Craig with his hand...there...on himself...and on Karl? He swallowed. “Promise?” he asked, voice raspy.

“You pull through this?” Craig indicated the equipment, the room, the injury in general, “and I’ll do anything you want me to. I’ll show you the tricks and twists of an expert wanker...”

He couldn’t help it. Honest to God he tried. But the giggle escaped Karl before he could stop it. Craig let go of Karl’s hand, smiling as he shrugged once more. “Have to be an expert when you’re on your own most of the time.”

Another giggle escaped and Karl shook his head. “You can’t fool me, you lady killer. Um. Man killer. Well, you know what I mean. You’ll get plenty of practice with that hand here, but you can’t make me believe you deal with it on your own at home.”

==

His mouth was dry. That was Karl’s first realization as he came out of the anesthesia. He didn’t want to wake up at all, he was so sleepy, but he was so thirsty it was bugging him. So he struggled to open his eyes, trying to figure out why he couldn’t move. Then it all rushed back to him, and he gasped awake.

Craig stepped into the brightly lit recovery room just as Karl’s dark eyes fluttered and a sharp breath left him. Approaching the bed, he reached for Karl’s hand, afraid to touch the other man through the myriad of monitors and tubes attached to his body. Instead, he asked, “Karl? Are you awake?” in a soft voice.

Karl blinked several times as his memories flooded back, and he drew another sharp breath as he recognized the numbness all over. “Craig?” he asked, hearing words as if from far away. Craig was going to stay with him - he’d promised. Karl felt the panic clawing at his throat.

Craig leaned down to bring himself closer to Karl. “I’m here. You’ve just come out of surgery.” Recognizing the beginning signs of panic in Karl’s actions, he tried to crack a joke. “They told me I could give you a sponge bath later if you behave today.”

The humor struck Karl as odd, and he just laid there for a long minute, trying to comprehend Craig’s words. He blinked some more, forgetting what the other man just said completely as he opened his mouth, wincing as his lips stuck together. “Water?” he rasped.

Craig reached for the iced pitcher of water on the nearby table, pouring a bit into a plastic cup before adding a bendy straw and bringing it to Karl’s lips. “Water, huh? That anxious for me to bathe you?” Karl turned his head slightly to the side so he could drink, looking up at Craig, still not quite with it enough to comprehend. So he swallowed and just watched his friend, knowing he was really happy to have Craig there. Hearing his voice, Karl felt...reassured.

“You made it through surgery fine,” Craig smiled, the relief showing on his face as his free hand smoothed back the hair on Karl’s forehead. He bit his lip to push back the emotion that threatened to spill over. While Karl had been on that table, Craig had promised himself that he’d never hide his feelings from Karl again, but he didn’t think the other man would be ready for his admission at the moment.

“Yeah,” Karl answered quietly, his lips curving into a slight smile. “I’m still here,” he said groggily. “How long?”

“How long are you here for? As long as the fates allow...” Craig answered in a light tone, preferring to answer that version of Karl’s question instead of telling the other man that the surgery had extended four hours longer than the expected timeframe.

Not sufficiently awake to catch the non-answer, Karl snorted quietly. “Fates....never trust the Fates. Those bitches will turn on you in a minute,” he answered, channeling memories of his time on the Xena sets. He puckered his lips, trying for more water.

“Hence the reason I have given up consorting with women,” Craig teased flippantly, rearranging the straw for Karl. “Not that I ever preferred them, but still...”

Frowning, Karl stopped mid-sip, a few drops of water trailing from between his lips. “Women have some good things,” he tried to argue.

Craig rolled his eyes. “I can buy you some pillows if that’s what you need when we sleep together. You don’t HAVE to use their breasts for that.”

Karl knew he should be amused, but he was too spacey to laugh, so he argued weakly. “They’re good for more than pillows. They’re good for...for...” he grasped for something witty, but it felt like his brain was stuck in syrup.

Craig tilted his head, pretending to consider. “I guess they would make good squishy stress relievers...”

His brow furrowed as Karl tried to puzzle that one out. “Huh?” he asked intelligently.

“Breasts...you know...” He cupped his hands and pretended to squeeze. “Stress balls - you know...” Waving his hand, he blushed and laughed. “Just forget it...”

Charmed by Craig’s smile, Karl just watched his friend quietly. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked - just looked - at Craig, and right now, he looked incredibly handsome. Catching Karl’s eye, Craig smiled sweetly, daring to finally touch the cool hand that held an intravenous drip. “I’m glad you didn’t kick the bucket, Karl.”

“Me, too,” Karl murmured, still watching Craig, and then the comment sank in. “Bucket? I was trying to kick a bucket? The bucket?” The panic welled up full force as Karl tried to sit up, but he was still completely numb all over.

Craig pushed against Karl gently, letting his hands linger on Karl’s strong shoulders. “It was just a metaphor. You were nowhere close to kicking the bucket. If you had, I’d have kicked your arse, dead or no.”

Wan face relaxing, Karl blinked, trying to get past the fear that was still very strong. “You may yet have to kick my arse if it ends up I can’t move it myself,” he tried to joke.

“You’ll move it,” Craig promised, teasing again. “And when you do, I’ll give you the honor of trying it out on me...” He waggled his eyebrows as he waited for Karl’s reaction.

Too drugged for subterfuge, Karl slowly smiled, thinking that sounded interesting...very interesting indeed. “Now there’s something to look forward to,” he murmured, voice serious as he deliberately met Craig’s eyes. The blatant look and the softly spoken words shocked Craig, but he tried to hide it, chalking the mutual flirtation up to the drugs that were no doubt still rampant in Karl’s system. Raising an eyebrow, Karl just steadily watched his friend, wondering what would happen next.

Craig held Karl’s gaze for several moments before blushing and making a show of pulling Karl’s blankets up over him. “I won’t hold you to that,” he said. Karl’s smile was as angelic as he could manage. Craig caught Karl’s expression. His hand dropped unthinkingly to rest on Karl’s thigh, where he gave the firm flesh beneath his palm a caressing squeeze. “I see that look. What’s that for?”

“You love me,” Karl said, feeling giddy all of a sudden, the panic draining away. He knew it was true - why else would Craig be here? It didn’t mean they were star-crossed lovers or anything. But somehow, he felt stronger knowing Craig was here for him.

Color draining out of his features, Craig didn’t look up at Karl that time, lest the other Kiwi see everything in his eyes. “Of course I do, you big, ugly git. And you love me.”

Laying his cheek against the pillow, Karl watched Craig’s reaction closely, and his smile was soft. “Yeah, I do,” he agreed quietly, shifting his fingers slightly to touch his friend’s hand even though his arm felt weighted down. Craig allowed himself to grip Karl’s fingers as tightly as he could, needing the connection to the larger man when he’d come so close to guessing Craig’s true feelings.

“Thank you,” Karl said after long, quiet moments, his voice dragging. “For staying with me through this. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Craig whispered truthfully, giving another tight squeeze to the cool fingers held within his grasp. Letting his heavy eyelids close, Karl was soon asleep again, his fingers still curled around Craig’s hand.

==

The doctors were gathered about the bed, four of them in blue jackets, their voices low and serious as they looked at charts and clipboards. The day nurse stood to one side, fiddling with Karl’s I.V. drip. Then abruptly, the mass turned and filed out. The nurse patted Karl’s arm in reassurance and made for the door, pausing when she met Craig there.

Craig nodded good-naturedly at the nurse. “Good morning, gorgeous. Is my patient nice and cooperative today?”

Looking over her shoulder, the nurse pulled Craig with her a few steps outside of the room. “Mr. Urban’s had some news, Mr. Parker. He’s understandably upset, although I must admit he’s taking it well. For now.” She smiled sadly. “He’ll really need a friend, but he’s just as likely to snap at you.”

“Can...can you...” Craig swallowed at the solemn look on her face, as well as the serious tone of her voice. “I don’t suppose you’re at liberty to discuss his condition with me...”

She tilted her head. “To hell with liberty. He’s going to need all the help he can get, and there’s not exactly people banging on the doors.” She sighed. “He’s not recovering well from the surgery, and although the rods in his spine seem to be aligned correctly, the doctors feel they need to go in and fuse some of the vertebrae,” she explained quietly. “They are afraid that one wrong move and everything could snap again and he would be permanently paralyzed or worse.”

Craig closed his eyes as he took in the information. “What are the chances for success in this type of surgery?”

“Very good, actually,” the nurse said, shifting the chart in her hand. “But it will be painful, and he’ll be looking at even more recovery time before he can even think about rehab.” She paused, looking over Craig’s face before continuing. “He will lose some movement ability. He will almost certainly walk with a cane for the rest of his life, possibly other problems with slow reactions from his nervous system. But he will walk, if he wants to bad enough. Right now...” she shook her head.

“I will be his cane.” Craig promised vehemently. Karl had always been his friend, and even though Craig had wanted more from the seemingly oblivious Karl, Craig would never give up his time or friendship with the other man. He would do whatever it took to ensure a normal life for Karl.

The nurse smiled and patted Craig’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re here. No one should have to go through this alone.” Then she left him, heading back to the central desk. Craig peeked into the room. Karl lay on the bed, staring toward the window. Craig could see the slight frown that had settled over his face in the light that filtered through the partially open blinds. Approaching the bed quietly, Craig watched Karl’s face for a few long moments.

Focusing on the doctors’ words, Karl stared unseeing toward the light. The painful surgery and even more painful two days since hadn’t amounted to much. They thought they had saved his spine, but any wrong move was just as likely to snap it again, or worse. He could be paralyzed. He could be dead. So, more surgery...and permanent partial paralysis. To avoid the worst. His eyes closed as his gut clenched in emotional agony.

“I know my beauty is blinding,” Craig spoke softly, unwilling to cause any sudden movement, “but you don’t have to close your eyes in reverence when I enter the room.”

A slight smile curled Karl’s lips, and he turned his head, opening his eyes. “I didn’t know you were here,” he said quietly. He was wan and pale, his cheekbones stark as he had already lost an alarming amount of weight in the ten days since the accident. Whiskers stood stark against his skin, and his eyes appeared sunken. After one look in a mirror, he hadn’t asked for one again. And now, he was just too drained to care.

Craig pulled a chair to the edge of the bed, reaching up to nuzzle a hand against Karl’s stubbly face. “You look rough, mate. Can’t you get a decent shave around here?”

Karl didn’t even attempt to move. He knew it would hurt, and he’d learned very quickly to remain as still as possible. “‘S okay,” he murmured, turning his head to push his cheek against Craig’s hand. While before the surgery he had tried to restrain himself, now he coveted every touch he could get.

Craig’s fingers spread on Karl’s face, caressing and reminding himself that Karl was still here. “If it starts to bother you, I could give you a good shave. It might be a little - personal - but I promise I won’t seduce you until you’re able...”

Smiling a bit more, Karl sighed. “I’ll let you know. I don’t mind you being up close and personal. I guess you can say you’ve seen me at my worst and you came back, so...”

“If this is your worst, I think your best would kill me.” Craig grinned, still touching Karl.

Eyes running over Craig’s face, Karl looked forlorn and more than a little lost. “Won’t see that best again,” he whispered.

“Maybe not that best,” Craig murmured with a gentle shrug, “but maybe a new best. Maybe a better best.” A look of slight confusion crossed his face. “A better best. You should be proud, Urban. You’ve got me talking in circles.”

Karl snorted. “You’re a nutter, mate,” he said, but he still pushed his cheek against Craig’s hand.

Craig leaned on the edge of the bed as he answered that with, “Ah - but you love me because of that. Not in spite of it.”

“Yeah, I do,” Karl said, his words heartfelt. Some moments passed in silence. “So do you know...”

“A certain nurse might not have told me,” Craig looked away, trying not to admit the nurse’s slip.

Nodding slightly, Karl closed his eyes for a moment before looking at Craig again. “So...I guess I’ve got two options,” he murmured.

“And what would they be?” Craig asked, truly intent on hearing what Karl thought he had to do.

“I can go on the way I am now, in pain but mostly mobile, until the slightest problem blows my back all to hell and I’m totally paralyzed or worse. I certainly won’t be able to work anymore, and any kind of riding or athletics is totally out.”

Craig frowned slightly, knowing what those limits would do to his friend’s free spirit. “And the other option?”

Karl’s lips pressed together, a firm white line until he spoke again. “More surgery, more pain, more recovery. A better recovery, a more stable future where I can live mostly as I’m accustomed...as long as the surgery goes well.”

“So - looks like your choices are either pain later or pain now. I’m sorry, mate, but I think I’d choose to get it all over with at once,” Craig offered as his opinion.

Karl blinked and looked at Craig, frowning. “It’s not just about the pain. I have to think about how I’m gonna live - work - survive. I can’t work if I can’t walk.”

“And if you don’t have the surgery now, you won’t be able to live anyway. You can’t ride - you said so yourself. At least the surgery now gives you a chance to live a life similar to the one you led before. If you don’t have it, there’s always that chance that you could destroy yourself with the slightest jolt.”

Karl’s hands gripped the sheets, and he raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Yeah,” he said on a sigh, obviously conflicted.

“You have my opinion,” Craig murmured, prying one of Karl’s hands off of the sheets long enough to twine their fingers together. He was encouraged by the other man’s strong grip. “But it’s your decision. Sleep on it. Give it some thought.”

Karl curled his fingers through Craig’s, holding his hand tightly. “Stay with me?” he whispered, the tinge of fear clear in his wavering voice.

“As if I would leave.” Craig whispered fiercely. “Too many pretty nurses to try and turn your eyes away from me.”

Karl choked on a half laugh, half sob as he squeezed his eyes shut, one tear escaping. “I’m scared outta my mind,” he said, voice ragged.

“I am too,” Craig admitted in a soft voice. He could never lie to his best friend. “But whatever happens, I’ll be here. Small consolation - I know...but nevertheless...”

Pulling Craig’s hand to his lips, Karl kissed his knuckles. “There’s no one else I’d rather have here,” he said, voice weak, but sure.

“Not even that hot nurse that’s on the night rotation?” Craig asked in a choked giggle, trying to hold back the emotion that seemed to finally want to take its toll on him.

Karl’s face scrunched up. “You mean Yolanda, the 300-pound black lady who manhandles me about for sponge baths?”

Craig shrugged. “I am gay. My taste in women is questionable.”

Karl actually snickered. “I might say the same about your taste in men, but it’s not like I would know.”

“I think you’re hot.” Craig admitted with just a touch of shyness to his tone.

Automatically discounting Craig’s words as teasing, Karl rolled his eyes. “Wow, your standards sure have dropped, then. I mean, an unemployed, hospitalized, possibly future paraplegic? Come on, now. Surely even Mark appeals to you more than I do.”

“Mark? He’s appallingly straight at the best of times. Now you - I think the possibility of giving you a sponge bath has really perked my ... *ahem* - interests.” Craig blushed. Amazingly, Karl flushed, which showed quite clearly through his pallor.

Craig’s eyes flicked up, catching Karl’s blush. Instead of looking away, he gazed intently at his friend’s handsome profile. Unaccountably nervous, Karl’s eyes darted around, not settling on any one thing, and his tongue slid out to moisten his lower lip. Craig inhaled deeply, watching the flash of pink flesh until it disappeared. Clearing his throat, he reluctantly let go of Karl’s hand and sat back. “The offer to hire a stripper still stands.”

Blinking in confusion, all Karl could understand was that Craig was near, and Craig being near made him feel better. Made him feel more alive. And now Craig had moved away. “Huh?”

“Didn’t I offer to hire a stripper to come and lift your - ah - spirits?”

Understanding filled Karl’s eyes. “Don’t need one. I’ve got you,” he said softly, meaningfully.

“Ah - but I won’t strip for you until you’re at least able to make a move on me without the threat of harming yourself. And I don’t know that I’m that - uplifting.” A broad grin spread across Craig’s face.

Karl’s eyes sparkled, and he actually smiled a little, though his face was still flushed. “That’s some big motivation,” he replied.

“I have been told that it’s of moderate to above average size.” Craig very nearly poked his tongue out with that.

Eyes boggling, Karl’s jaw dropped before he broke into a wide grin. “Is that so?” he laughed tiredly.

“You’ll have to wait and see. If you’re a good boy, I might reward you when you come out of surgery.” Craig promised with a gleam in his eyes.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Karl said, blinking sleepily. “Don’t think I won’t.”

Craig’s eyes roamed over the tired Kiwi’s face, and he reached out to link their fingers once more. “Sleep on it. Make your decision. And then we’ll go home.”

Frowning as he faded, Karl asked softly, “Home? Where’s home anymore?”

“Anywhere you want it to be. Here? Auckland? Wherever you tell me it is.”

Yawning, his eyes already closed, Karl’s answer was a whisper as he fell asleep. “With you.”

A slow, sweet smile spread across Craig’s face as he laid his head on the bed beside Karl’s hand, pressing a kiss to the cool knuckles of the other man’s hand.

==

The doctors tiredly left the surgery area, and the nurse stopped them outside, pointing them over to the comfortable couches where Craig waited. She spoke quietly, explaining his relationship with the patient, and the doctors nodded. The three men consulted, and then one walked over to the waiting area. “Mr. Parker?”

Hearing his name, Craig looked up to see a surgeon approaching him. He rose to his feet, dropping the magazine he’d been half-heartedly flipping through. “How is he?”

The doctor looked exhausted. “Let’s sit down, Mr. Parker. I’ve been on my feet for twelve hours.”

Nodding, Craig took a seat. It was a testament to his actor’s training that he wasn’t visibly shaking. Inside, he felt as if a herd of buffalo was trampling his innards.

Taking a seat next to him, the doctor looked to be choosing his words. “Nurse Walker tells me that you’re Mr. Urban’s best friend and that you’ve been with him the past week.”

“Yes.” Craig sat quietly, trying his best not to fidget. “The surgery...did it...was it a success?”

Smiling a bit, the doctor nodded. “I would call it a guarded success. We had some trouble during, but we were able to work through it. Mr. Urban is a very strong man.”

“Trouble?” Craig’s brow knit as his hands clenched tightly.

“Your friend has been in a great deal of pain from the injury, Mr. Parker. We had to wean him off the drugs for the surgery fairly quickly. But his body did not take the shock well, and he suffered through two episodes of hypometabolic disorder during the surgery.” At Craig’s blank stare, the doctor explained, his voice hushed. “His blood was so lacking in electrolytes that his heart stopped twice.”

The blood drained from Craig’s face and he thought for a moment he might be sick on the floor, right there. The doctor gripped his shoulder in support. “We were able to catch it right away both times and make adjustments in the I.V. fluids. His heart didn’t suffer any damage - I’m sure that’s a reflection of how good of shape he was in at the time of the accident.”

Craig swallowed on the knot in his throat. “But the surgery - did it work?”

The doctor sighed. “Within limits, Mr. Parker. Because of the problems I just mentioned, and a couple others, we had to make some unplanned changes - in particular when it came to fusing some of his vertebrae.” He paused, peering at the other man. “But I think he’ll be all right.”

“What will the outcome of this surgery be? Will he be...limited?” Craig gnawed at his lower lip as he waited for the answer, knowing what an effect a bad answer would have on Karl’s life.

“In my opinion? It will depend on him,” the doctor replied, standing. “He’s got a hard road ahead of him, I won’t gloss that over. Of course, we have to see what works when he wakes up - there’s always fate.” The surgeon nodded once and walked away just as a stretcher carrying Karl pushed out of recovery.

“Doctor,” Craig called as the surgeon walked away, “Can I be with him now?”

Pausing in the hallway, the man turned to look at Craig. “I think he’d want you to be there, don’t you?” he said rhetorically. And then he was on his way.

Craig wasted no time, arriving back in the room just as the staff transferred Karl back to his bed and reconnected the monitors. He watched silently as the nurse double-checked everything before leaving the room, giving his arm a gentle squeeze as she passed.

The machinery surrounding Karl was nothing new, but the apparatus surrounding his body was. He seemed to be shut into a metal frame, totally immobilizing his body from neck to thigh, including his arms. The frame supported his body off the bed, but he appeared to be resting comfortably despite it. Moving closer, Craig was afraid to touch Karl. Instead, he stood as close as possible. Still fighting strong emotion, he breathed in deeply, willing himself not to cry lest Karl awoke and saw him.

The sound of the heart monitor was steady, and Karl was totally still, obviously still under the anesthesia. A sheet was pulled up to his midsection, but bared his sides, which bore red streaks staining the skin, and the flesh was pinched where metal rods entered his body. Studying the equipment attached to Karl’s body, Craig winced. Karl had to be strong enough to get through this. Karl was the strongest person he knew.

Long hours of silence broken only by the quiet beeping passed, and Nurse Walker came in to check on Karl. “Mr. Parker, how are you holding up?” she asked in a compassionate voice.

A harsh laugh escaped Craig. “I have nothing to complain about, considering...” He gestured at his best friend who was currently trussed in a hospital bed.

She smiled wryly. “It’s tough, I know,” she said quietly, checking Karl’s vitals. “If it’s any consolation, he’s doing well. His vitals are strong for just having come out of a troubled surgery. He should wake up soon, at least for a little while.” She checked the I.V. and added a syringe of fluid to one. “That’s for the pain. The surgical anesthetic will be wearing off as well.” She paused and looked over Craig. “Is there anything I can get for you?”

Craig shook his head. “No - thank you. I’m fine.” He pulled the chair closer. “Can - can I touch him?”

Nurse Walker smiled. “Sure. Talk to him, too. If he’s waking up, it’ll reassure him.” She made some notes on Karl’s chart and left.

Craig reached carefully through the cage surrounding Karl, just barely inserting his finger in the slight curl of Karl’s palm. After about 30 minutes more of breathing, the heart monitor started to pick up, the beeping coming a bit faster and louder. Standing up, Craig tried to make sense of the various monitors, but nothing helped. He pushed the call button, hoping the nurse could help him.

After a couple minutes, Nurse Walker stepped into the room. “Something you need?” she asked.

Craig gestured wildly at the flashing monitors. “What’s wrong?”

Unperturbed, Nurse Walker walked over and checked the monitors, silencing the beeping, and then she checked Karl’s pulse. “He’s all right, just waking up,” she said with a smile.

Rolling his eyes in relief, Craig slouched back into the chair. “Geez - I thought he was...” He couldn’t voice the thought.

The nurse walked past and patted his shoulder. “It’s all right. I’d prefer you care too much than not enough,” she said quietly. “He’ll be awake anytime. I’ll bring some ice water.” And she departed.

As soon as she was out of the room, Craig was right back at Karl’s side, squeezing his hand slightly. “Wake up, baby. I need you to wake up...”

After Craig repeated himself several times, Karl’s hand clenched slightly, a twitch, but some response. Rambling aimlessly, Craig whispered, “When you wake up, I’m never letting you go again. I’ll be whatever you need me to be, but you’re not getting that far away from me. Not again.”

Karl’s hand moved again, slower this time, but his fingers moved to tighten about Craig’s finger, and a slight furrow appeared on his forehead. Craig twisted his hand in Karl’s, threading their fingers together as he leaned closer. “Wake up, sleeping beauty,” he coaxed gently, blowing lightly through the hair along Karl’s ears.

Face creasing slightly, Karl’s eyes moved visibly under the closed lids, and his lips opened on a soft sigh and inhalation. His fingers tightened a bit more and then relaxed. A relieved smile spreading across his face, Craig teased, “What’re you waiting for? A kiss?”

Lips pressing together again, Karl frowned a little more as he was trying to wake up. His hand closed about Craig’s finger again, and he sucked in a deeper breath. After a few heartbeats, he started to open his eyes.

Leaning carefully, Craig chanced a kiss along a regal cheekbone. He sighed at the feel of Karl’s skin, warm beneath his lips. “Lucky bastard.” He nearly cried, holding back at the last moment. Karl’s hazel eyes came open, dazed and glassy, but he focused on Craig right away, and the barest of smiles pulled at his mouth as he recognized the other man.

Craig hugged Karl as best he could, letting his lips brush against the other man’s face more than once in the process, not bothering to hide it. Karl swallowed several times, eyes opening and closing slowly, and he drew a breath to speak, but nothing came out. He swallowed again, trying to wet his mouth.

The nurse came in at that moment with a pitcher of ice water. Craig beamed at Karl. “Look - you get a bendy straw!” Blinking as if he was trying to clear his head, Karl’s eyes refocused on Craig, but he didn’t try to talk again.

Nurse Walker smiled. “Welcome back, Mr. Urban.” She handed Craig the pitcher and left quietly.

Craig poured a cup of water and held the straw to Karl’s mouth. “Slow and easy, big boy...” Opening and closing his chapped lips a few times, Karl got a hold of the straw and managed a couple swallows before releasing the straw weakly.

Hovering close by, Craig smoothed Karl’s hair back. “That was weak, man. You keep that up and I’ll beat you in drinking games from here on.” Karl’s lips curled up at one corner just a bit, and he opened his lips again for more water.

Craig put the straw between Karl’s lips. “So this is the start to a good thing? Me waiting on you?”

Opening his eyes again, Karl turned somewhat clearer eyes toward Craig, and they were warm and affectionate, even though he hadn’t managed a word yet. Craig blushed a little. “My beauty has you speechless. C’mon. Admit it.”

Karl licked his lower lip just a bit, and he finally whispered, “Yeah.”

“See? That’s what I love about you. You’re so easy to get information from.” Craig pressed another soft kiss to Karl’s mouth, along the edge of his dry lips.

Watching Craig dazedly, Karl swallowed again before speaking. “Just for you,” he whispered, the words slurred.

Craig shushed Karl with a finger over his lips, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a tube of lip balm. He soothed it over the dry, chapped skin. Karl accepted Craig’s ministrations quietly, though his hand twitched slightly. His brow furrowed some again as he groaned slightly under his breath.

“You hurt, luv?” Craig asked in a low tone, seeing the expression of discomfort that flared across Karl’s face. “Need me to get the nurse?”

Wrinkling his nose in disagreement, Karl let his eyes close. “Stay,” he whispered.

“Wouldn’t leave for anything.” Craig promised, fingertips still roaming over Karl’s face. After a few more breaths, Karl relaxed and dropped off to sleep again. Craig remained close by, unwilling to leave Karl’s side at all.

===

A few days later, Craig was looking pretty haggard even as Karl started gaining more color. He was staying awake more and more. Craig treasured the time they spent together more than anything. He sat in Karl’s room, near the window, flipping through a gossip rag as he waited for Karl to wake up. He giggled at yet another article questioning Orlando’s sexuality.

Awake for a few quiet minutes, Karl smiled slightly at hearing Craig. “What’s funny?” he asked, voice still weak.

“ Orlando’s gay this week.” Craig answered without thought. After a couple of moments, he raised his head again and asked, “You’re awake?”

Karl looked like he was trying not to choke. “Orli’s gay this week?” he asked, snorting.

“Apparently the contract with Disney is up.” Craig mused, laying the gossip rag down and walking slowly over to Karl’s bed. He pulled up the ever present cup of water, putting the straw to Karl’s lips.

Sipping slowly, Karl looked more alert than he had yet since the surgery. He swallowed a few times and let the straw go. “You look like hell,” he observed.

“Thanks,” Craig laughed. “You really know how to flatter a guy.”

Karl raised a brow, looking serious. “You’re not taking care of yourself,” he said quietly, voice concerned.

“Nothing a bath and a shave can’t help,” Craig rubbed at his eyes before perching carefully at the end of the bed. He studied Karl’s face carefully, the return of the light in Karl’s eyes going a long way to make him feel better.

“Are you still sleeping here? You can’t be that comfortable,” Karl said, worry showing in his eyes. “I want you here, but I don’t want you to feel like shit. I’ve got enough of that to go around,” he muttered.

“The bed’s plenty comfortable.” Craig didn’t mention that he rarely slept in it because he didn’t want to be that far away from Karl. He slid off of the end of Karl’s bed and stepped closer, trailing his fingers along Karl’s arm. “So - you feel like shit?”

Karl wrinkled his nose, an expression becoming more commonplace. “I hurt all the time, even if it is dulled. And I can’t move from my neck to my knees. But I guess I should be thankful. I can move my toes on one foot, though,” he added.

“I can count your piggies now?” Craig joked, moving down to bare the digits, letting his fingers tease over each one. “At least pain is better than no feeling at all?”

“Yeah,” Karl whispered. “But...”

“But?” Craig prompted, massaging Karl’s feet.

His eyes blank, Karl stared into nothing over Craig’s shoulder. “Can’t feel my left leg,” he whispered.

A slight frown crossed Craig’s face, as his hand ventured upward on that side, stopping somewhere just beyond Karl’s knee. “So I can’t molest you? Maybe we should give it a bit more time.”

Karl’s face remained blank, and he didn’t move at all. Craig ran his other hand up Karl’s right leg, teasing at the hairs on it. “You feel that?” He tried to brighten Karl’s mood.

Blinking, Karl glanced up at Craig. “Yeah,” he answered. “Tickles, a little.”

Hand venturing further, Craig waited for Karl to tell him to stop. “Never admit where you’re ticklish. Gives your enemy an advantage.”

His nose wrinkling, Karl smiled slightly. “C’mon, man, it makes my leg itch, and I can’t reach it.” Because of the support cage he was still locked into, he couldn’t move his arms except from the elbow. He couldn’t move his back at all.

Craig waggled his eyebrows. “I can scratch your itch.”

Karl snorted, finally smiling. “All right, you nutter. Quit feelin’ me up when I can’t retaliate.”

“As if you would,” Craig chuckled, pulling his hand away and smoothing it over top of the sheet.

The answer was a soft harrumph. “I’d pout if I could make a good go at it,” Karl retorted, letting Craig distract him from worrying about his leg.

“And spoil those lovely lips?” Craig moved to the chair beside the bed, leaning back to where he could talk and relax at the same time.

“Hmm. Speaking of lips, got any more of that balm?” Karl asked hopefully, batting his eyelashes.

Craig smiled as he dug into his pocket, pulling the small tube out and bringing it to Karl’s lips once more. “Can’t have them getting chafed. Need to keep them soft and luscious for the ladies.”

Karl made a dissenting noise as he kept his lips still. When Craig finished, he snarked, “Not too many ladies coming around, unless you count Sally and Yolanda.”

“They’re all just waiting for you to get back into fighting form,” Craig answered gently. “And to be truthful, you’re better off without them.” Eyes turning serious, Karl nodded in agreement, and he didn’t attempt to continue the conversation.

“I mean - who needs a bunch of sniveling fans in a hospital ward? It’s better that they don’t know that you’re here.” Craig backtracked.

Nose wrinkling again, “Nah, not interested in fans.” Karl looked up, eyes warm. “Just friends,” he said quietly.

“Maybe more? I’ve noticed that Sally is especially nice to you.” Craig squeezed Karl’s hand, letting their fingers tangle together.

Karl smiled genuinely. “She’s nice, yeah,” he agreed. But he kept his eyes trained on Craig.

Craig smiled. “I don’t want to talk about girls. Didn’t like it when I was a teenager...don’t like it now...”

Chuckling, Karl smiled again. “So, we could talk about boys, instead,” he suggested.

“Yeah - those doctors had their hands all over you.” Craig grinned. “How do you feel about that?”

Karl rolled his eyes. “I don’t remember any of it, and I really doubt they were handling any dangly bits.”

“Ah - but you don’t remember...” Craig chuckled again. His hand slid along Karl’s arms, careful of the tubes inserted beneath his skin. “They may have removed them for all you know.”

Karl blinked in surprise, but then narrowed his eyes. “No, they didn’t. Cause I’ve still got that damn catheter,” he replied.

“Made ya think. At least you can still feel that part. That’s important, isn’t it?” Craig asked in a tentative voice.

Smiling wryly, Karl nodded. “Yeah. It is. Thanks,” he said, mouth twitching into a smile.

“Gotta look for the silver lining,” Craig grinned, relieved in more ways than he could mention. “We’ll be sure to do plenty of physical therapy, just to ensure the proper healing of all body parts.”

Karl’s eyes sparkled. “Physical therapy for the dangly bits, too?” he said with a smirk.

“Lots of push ups. And squat thrusts,” Craig recommended in a slightly knowing tone.

The look on Karl’s face showed that he was absolutely nonplussed.

“Can’t throw you at all, can I?” Craig asked without pause.

“Squat thrusts?” Karl asked, still astounded.

“Blame my gym teacher,” Craig held his hands up in innocence as Karl actually laughed. A smile spread across Craig’s face and he laughed too. “God, that sounds good.”

Still laughing, Karl rolled his eyes. “Lord. Squat thrusts.” He sighed gustily, shaking his head at Craig. “What would I do without you?” he asked, more serious than he sounded.

“Solo squat thrusts?” Craig ventured, fishing for a suggestion of what might happen when Karl was out of the hospital.

Sobering some, Karl’s mouth twisted. “I doubt it,” he murmured. “I haven’t really thought that far ahead - whenever I do, I get...anxious,” he admitted. “Not knowing...what’s going to happen.” He raised unsure eyes to Craig. “I don’t know if I’ll get to go home, and I don’t know if there would be anyone there when I got there, either. Sides Mum and Da, of course. But...”

Craig sobered. “If they’re not, you don’t need them anyway. Everyone that loves you - that needs you - that matters - they’ll be there for you when you need them.”

“Like you’re here,” Karl whispered, needing confirmation to reassure himself...he didn’t want to wake up one morning, still paralyzed, to find out Craig was gone.

Craig took Karl’s hand, moving it enough to press his lips to the backs of his fingers. “I’ll always be here.”

===

The orderlies wheeled Karl’s stretcher back into the room after another round of X-rays, gently moved the patient to the bed and left quietly. Nurse Walker entered right after, stopping to pat Karl’s hand a she saw his face was white with pain. “I’ll get you fixed up here,” she said.

“Thanks, Sally,” Karl murmured, looking totally exhausted.

Craig looked up from his spot on the bed in the corner. He never left the room at all now, though he thought Karl figured he left during the night while he slept. He could see the pallor on Karl’s face as well, medical training or no, and the other man looked miserable. Craig’s heart clenched at the sight. “How did it go today?”

Karl swallowed and made his pain-glazed eyes focus on Craig. “Slowly,” he rasped. “Painfully. And then even slower and more painfully.” The color and life seemed to just be draining out of him. More than a week after the third surgery, he had not improved after the first two days - in fact, his overall condition had deteriorated, and the doctors were concerned he wasn’t healing properly. Despite constant I.V. fluids and solid food, he continued to lose weight as muscle mass melted away. His skin had gone pale and his hair turned dry and brittle. He was receiving daily transfusions to try to promote healing - and he was still backsliding.

Even before today, Karl had faced the unavoidable fact that the surgery had failed and he was even worse off than before - and that he was not going to get better. Not that Karl had shared that with Craig.

Approaching the bed, Craig did all that it seemed he could do lately. He clasped Karl’s hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly. “It takes time. You didn’t learn to walk in a week, did you? This can’t heal as quickly as you’d like.”

Sick with the latest news from the doctors, Karl wouldn’t even raise his eyes to look at Craig, who had been so supportive. He felt like he was letting the other man down, somehow. When Karl wouldn’t even look at him, it broke Craig’s heart. Over the past few weeks, he thought that they’d developed a relationship in which they could share anything, but he could tell Karl was holding back. He rubbed at the cool hand in his vigorously.

Karl couldn’t contain his grief any longer, and silent tears slipped from the corners of his eyes. Without any pride, he finally looked at Craig. “They’re saying surgery again. Oh Christ, Craig, I can’t go through this anymore...”

That heartrending tone nearly broke through Craig’s defenses, but he managed to keep them up. “Doctor just wants to see your arse again.” He winced at the uncaring thoughtlessness behind the tactless jest, but it was too late to pull the words back.

Blinking in disbelief, Karl snorted and half laughed, half cried. “Oh Christ,” he murmured. “Doctors after my arse now, huh?” he said, voice strangled, obviously on the edge of losing it.

Craig tried to look off put at Karl’s questioning of his statement. “It’s a lovely arse. Of course they’re after it.”

Overwrought, in pain and upset, Karl just lay his head back and let the tears run free, as if he were too exhausted to actively grieve. “Craig,” he finally whispered. “I’m not gonna get through this.”

“Yes, you will,” Craig whispered fiercely. “You’re going to come through this because I will not be the one to tell your parents that you gave up when you still had a fighting chance.” His voice grew louder as he continued. “I won’t tell Hunter that his daddy didn’t want to try hard enough to come back to him.” Finally, he stopped with a soft whisper, “And I won’t let myself get over you, so you can’t leave me here alone.”

Karl’s choked sob after Craig’s announcement was the sum total of his response for long minutes as he vented his terror and upset. Finally, the jag seemed to run its course, and exhausted yet again, Karl let his head just loll to the side so he could look at his best friend.

Craig met Karl’s moist gaze steadily. “You have to get through this.”

Although he seemed totally drained, Karl stared into Craig’s unflinching eyes and then nodded slowly. “I won’t give up,” he whispered. “For my parents. For my boy...and for you. I’ll try.” His voice broke at the end.

Craig replied with a nod of his own, hand tightening around Karl’s as he held the other man’s deep green gaze as long as he could. After several long moments, he dropped his gaze, head hanging as a single tremor betrayed his distress.

“I’m sorry,” Karl murmured.

“Don’t apologize,” Craig replied in a low tone. “This is no fault of your own. Things happen. We just have to get through them.”

“Craig,” Karl said quietly, “why are you still here? Really.”

Craig shrugged, knowing full well why he was still there. But he also knew that Karl needed to figure it out on his own. Karl knew he was missing something, but the ordeal of today’s exams kept him from focusing any further. He sighed. “Hold my hand ‘til I’m asleep?” he asked in a small voice.

“Always,” Craig promised in a shaky tone, rubbing his thumb in tiny circles over the back of Karl’s cool palm.

==

A week later, Nurse Walker came out of recovery and made a beeline for the waiting room where she knew Craig would be waiting. She had news for him and didn’t want to wait.

Craig rose as soon as he saw Sally walk into the room. “What’s the verdict?” He asked, tugging nervously at the shabby stubble that decorated his chin.

The nurse smiled. “He’s going to be just fine. Just fine, Mr. Parker. He came through really well, and the operation was a complete success.”

Craig nearly crumpled to the floor in relief. Finally - there was some light at the end of this tunnel. He looked away as tears threatened to spill down his cheeks, rubbing at his eyes. “Good. Good. Will he be back in his room soon?”

“About an hour as they give him some more pain meds and check the sutures over.” The nurse patted his shoulder comfortingly. “He’s going to be just fine,” she repeated before leaving.

Craig thanked her one final time before hurrying back to Karl’s room to await the other man’s return. He stared out the window, keeping his emotions in check as he waited to seek Karl for himself.

Nurse Walker’s prediction was right on as the stretcher rolled a groggy Karl back into the room. This time, instead of the metal cage, he lay on his belly, two much lighter, fabric and thin plastic braces wrapped around him, holding his spine secure. He was clearly drugged to the hilt, but he seemed aware of his surroundings.

This time, Craig knelt beside the bed, wanting Karl to not have to strain to see him. He brushed Karl’s dark hair back from his face. “You did it this time, baby,” he murmured in a low tone. “You’ll be as good as new in no time at all.” Karl blinked wearily at his friend, not even totally sure who he was, but certain he was a friend...no...a loved one. He focused his fuzzy attention on that beautiful face.

Craig noticed the confused look, and it worried him a bit. “Karl? I’m going to let you sleep for a bit. I don’t...I just - I should go call your parents.” A touch of worry speared him, and Karl’s face pulled into a frown. He didn’t want the beautiful man to leave him. Not like this.

Craig smoothed at the frown with his thumb. “Maybe I’ll wait until later,” he murmured to himself more than Karl. Right now, he needed to touch and look at and...

Karl’s worry eased and he let the soft touch soothe him back into sleep. As soon as Karl’s eyes closed, Craig’s composure disintegrated. He fell back on his heels, lowering his head as the tears finally broke through, trailing down his scruffy face to pool at the neckline of his filthy jersey. He lifted his hands to cover his face as his back hit the wall and he slumped, finally falling apart.

Having been lurking about, concerned about just this type of reaction, Nurse Walker walked in quietly, knelt down and put her arms around Craig. He turned into her, wracked by silent sobs, and she held as he cried out his fear and worry.

==

“Laying here like this really sucks.”

Several days had passed since the fourth surgery, and Karl was awake, was being weaned off the pain meds, and was very, very cranky.

Craig flipped a page in the magazine he was reading, humming in agreement. “Consider the alternatives, luv.”

A loud huff. “Usually if I’m lying like this, I’m getting a tan or a massage,” Karl complained.

“Usually if I’m lying like that, I’m getting laid,” Craig tossed back, unwavering against Karl’s whining. That stopped Karl’s pouting cold. He stared at Craig and bit his lip, not sure if he should ask the questions that popped to mind.

Craig peeked over the top of the magazine, grinning at the look of consternation on Karl’s face. “I never look quite like THAT while it’s happening, though.”

Karl rolled his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know...” his voice trailed off. “Tell me about it,” he said.

“And upset your little fantasy world? I don’t think so. When you find the right one, it’ll happen. You’ll be surprised in a lovely, entirely nice way. I don’t want to ruin that for you.”

“Fantasy world?” Karl retorted. “What kind of fantasy is having someone’s cock speared up your arse?”

Craig hid behind the magazine, keeping the disappointment to himself. “It’s really nothing as bad as all of that,” he answered, trying to keep the defensiveness out of his tone.

Recognizing the hurt in Craig’s voice, Karl sighed. “I’m sorry, mate. I’m just...clueless, you know? And cranky. And curious. So help me out here.”

“I can’t explain it,” Craig mumbled, flipping another page. He was quiet for a few long moments before adding, “It’s like being whole.”

Karl was about to start complaining again when he heard Craig’s last words. He blinked several time, trying to understand. “Whole?” he asked quietly, staring at the magazine. Craig always sat so Karl could look at him without having to move his head. It struck Karl suddenly how caring an action that was.

“It’s the only time I feel whole,” Craig replied. “Most of the time I feel so empty that I can’t stand to be alone. I just - I feel like I need to be with someone - and it’s good - but it’s wrong...They’re not who I need them to be.”

Karl could understand that much - he had thought he would marry Hunter’s mother...it was good, but it was wrong. “So it’s...about connecting with someone,” he said quietly.

Craig shrugged a shoulder. “I guess so. And in that, I’m as clueless as you are.”

“I just don’t understand,” Karl murmured. “But I guess it must feel good, yeah?”

“Yeah, it does,” Craig blushed, flipping yet another page without reading it, but grateful to have something to hide behind. “You enjoy sex, right? I do, too. It’s just...different.”

“Well, sure I do...did,” he amended ruefully, still wavering between deciding if he’d be walking again. Or using anything else below the waist. He did feel a lot better, but really tried not to think about it too much, just in case it didn’t pan out. Talk about seriously depressing. “I can see if I was the one...you know, doing...rather than...getting.”

“Both are pleasant,” the older Kiwi answered, not wanting to be too descriptive since Karl couldn’t enjoy the benefits at the moment. “When you’re out of here, I will make sure and get you a stripper. I’ll just make sure to find a male so you can experiment with your newfound curiosity.”

Karl actually considered it for a long moment before he remembered he’d likely be in a wheelchair. “I guess,” he said listlessly.

“You’ll still be able to...to do things,” Craig finally lowered the magazine. “You have to have hope that this isn’t as good as it gets. Don’t settle, Karl. There are better things out there for you.”

“Christ, Craig, I’m trying, really I am. But it’s real hard to think I’m going to be able to do anything like that when I can’t feel my own cock, you know?” Karl muttered.

“You’ve had four major surgeries on your spinal cord,” Craig reminded Karl in a sharp tone. “The last was less than a week ago. There’s still a lot of bruising and swelling that has to go down before you’ll feel anything, much less the urge to wank!” Craig’s temper was near boiling point. If Karl didn’t believe he’d get better, then he wouldn’t.

Chastised, Karl closed his eyes for a long moment. “You’re right. I’m sorry I’ve been such a bastard today.”

“If anyone deserves to be a bastard...” Craig left the sentence unfinished, moving to kneel next to Karl’s bed. “You will be fine. You’ll come through this. You’ll find that Ms. or Mr. Right and life will be all sunshine and roses for you. You’re Karl. Life wouldn’t dare give you lemons.”

Smiling at his friend, Karl studied his face. “Not when I’ve got you to help me make lemonade, yeah?”

“Yeah. And you can rest assured that you’ll have me, even when you no longer need me.” Craig’s face was solemn.

Karl’s words were out before he could stop them. “What if I always need you?”

“I just said you’d always have me,” Craig smiled sweetly, reaching out to touch Karl’s face.

Karl wasn’t even aware of the angelic smile on his face with Nurse Walker entered. She couldn’t see Craig’s face, but she could see Karl, and it made her smile widely. “Gentlemen, I have news,” she announced.

Craig turned on his heels as he waited for her to give them the news. His hand remained near Karl’s face, fingers still tangled in the now-longish hair.

Sally smiled wide. “Mr. Urban, you’re going to sit up today.”

A shared look of shock was reflected on both Craig and Karl’s faces. Craig stood, nearly wrenching his arm in the rails of the hospital bed before coming to his full height. “Are you sure he’s ready?” A worried frown knit his brow.

Nodding, the nurse moved to the bed to check Karl’s charts. “Yes, the doctors are very pleased with the anterior interbody cages and the adaptation of his spine. A certain amount of stress is required to encourage the bones to continue healing,” she explained.

Craig moved away from the bed, allowing more room for her to work. “So he’ll be sitting a lot?”

She grinned. “Actually, standing and walking, too, once we get him into physical therapy to rebuild his leg muscles. But it’s only been five weeks, and you were in great shape before the surgery,” she told her patient. “Like I said, this last surgery was a real success.”

Craig could see the panic sweeping across Karl’s features, warring with the hope that he was recovering quickly. He smiled at the other man. “You might see the fruition of your last worries quicker than you thought!”

Karl blinked blankly for a moment and then blushed bright red. Even the nurse snickered. Craig couldn’t stop himself. He leaned over the bed, pressing a soft, moist kiss to Karl’s burning cheek. “You’re so lovely when you blush.”

Embarrassed, Karl turned his head to hide his face in his pillow as Sally checked his vitals and recorded them on his chart. “I’ll be back with the physical therapist for your evaluation in an hour, boys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she teased.

Waiting until she was out of the room, Craig whispered, “I think she lacks the equipment to do what you want to do.”

Karl snorted into the pillow, almost choking, and turned his head back to look at Craig incredulously. Craig tried for innocence. “What?” Karl busted out into a full, hearty laugh for the first time since before the accident.

“I thought we spent the entire morning discussing cocks up the bum.” Craig blinked. Dissolving into giggles, Karl nodded his head, helpless to do anything else.

“You’re not hysterical, are you?” Craig peered curiously at Karl. “Do I need to slap you or something?”

Giggles finally receding, Karl shook his head. “Mate, you can’t tease me like that if you don’t plan to follow through.”

“Something tells me that what I’d do to follow through would be a bit more physical activity than they have planned for you just yet, luv,” Craig sighed on a chuckle. He knew better than to take Karl seriously. Right now, Craig was the only person, outside of hospital staff, Karl had seen in weeks. His feelings couldn’t be accurate.

Karl pursed his lips, knowing Craig was right. Not to mention his friend was the only person besides Nurse Walker, his parents and Hunter that he’d talked to in weeks. He loved Craig, he knew he had for years, they were best friends. But was it something more? Or was it the circumstances? He blinked as he remembered something. “Shouldn’t you be back at work?” he asked out of the blue. “It’s been over a month.”

Craig turned away, moving to open the blinds as the lie slipped easily from between his lips. “Play was cancelled. Not enough interest.”

“I’m sorry,” Karl said genuinely. “More auditions soon, though? As much as I love having you here, I’d hate to keep you from working.”

“Actually,” Craig spoke carefully, turning back to face Karl, “my schedule is clear until you’re ready to return to Auckland.”

“But I don’t know when that will be,” Karl said without thinking.

“I don’t have to work,” Craig reminded Karl gently. “I’m doing pretty well. I can afford to be with you.”

Several emotions crossed Karl’s face, and he fell silent for some time. “All right,” he said quietly. He’d pay every dollar for Craig to stay, if that was what it would take.

Craig blushed and looked away. “I mean - I can afford to be here.”

Karl was desperate for some humor to break the odd tension between them. “So, what will you do if you need...you know...” he raised an eyebrow. “To blow off some steam.”

Craig mirrored the facial expression. “Unlike you, I can feel my cock. I do feel my cock. Quite often,” he lied.

Karl blushed again as he thought about the times he wondered what was taking Craig so long in the bathroom. But actually, Craig retreated to the bathroom when he couldn’t handle Karl’s upset, pain and disappointment any longer. He’d let the younger man think what he would.

“Lucky bastard,” Karl finally muttered. “Maybe once I quit laying on it all the time, I’ll be able to get rid of the damn catheter and do something to feel good about it again.” The past week on his belly had been particularly stressful, especially after so many weeks on his back.

“Maybe so.” Craig murmured, coming to sit near the bed once more. “What would you do about it?” He asked, trying to lure Karl into talking about how he liked things.

Glancing up at Craig, Karl narrowed his eyes. “Just to clarify, we’re talking about my cock here, right?”

Craig tried for innocence again. “I think we established that Sally doesn’t have one. Who else would we be talking about?”

Karl snorted. “So what would I do about it, hmm?”

“Yeah. What would you do about it? What are you going to do about it?” Craig urged.

Karl laughed, one sharp bark. “First thing, I wanna hold it and make sure it’s still there, you know?”

“I don’t think they removed it,” Craig tried to reassure Karl, “But there was this one day when I was out for lunch, and they were checking you out...”

Sticking out his tongue, Karl raspberried at him. “You asked, mate.”

“So is that all you’ll do? Just hold it?” Craig lifted an eyebrow.

“Well, sex hasn’t exactly been on my mind, but I’m sure I could conjure enough memories to have a nice, slow jack,” Karl muttered. “I don’t remember right off...” he shut his mouth with a snap, and his cheeks flushed again.

“Don’t remember what?” Craig asked gently.

Karl sighed. “The last time I had sex.”

Craig’s eyebrows knit together, and he realized that Karl was struggling. “I remember the last time I had sex,” he murmured in a low tone. “It was eight months ago. I’d had a difficult time after the con, and Joel was there and... It was nice. It’s always nice with Joel.”

“Eight months...” Karl murmured, still trying to remember. “Might have been as long ago as Moon. That seems so long ago.” Then he glanced to Craig. “Joel? Really?” his voice was soft. “He was good to you?”

“He was my friend. I can’t ask for more than that, can I?” Craig’s voice was quiet as he talked about the experience. “He always took time to make sure I wanted him, that I was ready for him. He never took unless he was sure it was what I wanted.”

Karl was quiet for a little while. “When I can move, I want to hug you,” he murmured, gazing at his friend.

Craig leaned back, studying Karl’s face. “Why?”

“I...I want to hold you close. Remind myself that you’re really, really here,” Karl said softly.

Craig lowered the bed rail and pulled his chair just to the edge of Karl’s bed. He wrapped his arms around Karl, letting the other man feel his warmth. “I’m really really really here,” he smiled. And then to lighten the situation… “You’re going to wash your hands between holding your cock and holding me?”

Karl chuckled. “If you insist. But you’re disparaging Yolanda’s daily sponge bath, you know.”

“Come now,” Craig joked, “you know you like being manhandled by her. Just a preview of things to come if your curiosity leads you that way.”

Rolling his eyes, Karl shook his head, finding some comfort in the easy banter. “No, sorry, you’ve got me too interested in this “fantasy” you won’t tell me about.”

Still holding Karl close, Craig asked, “You really want me to tell you?” Pressing his face as close to Craig’s chest as he could get, Karl nodded.

Craig brushed Karl’s hair back, lowering his mouth close to the delicate shell of ear before he began speaking. “It’s magic,” he started, “when you’re with someone, and you know that it’s going to happen. It’s similar to what you expect with a woman, but there’s a deeper craving,” his voice lowered, “a lust, if you will, to be filled.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Strong hands move over your body, with a sure touch that I’ve never found in a woman. The calluses tease and tickle your skin, making you tingle as you wait for the next touch.”

Karl actually shivered. He pressed his face into Craig’s neck, hoping the other man would continue.

“You find yourself arching expectantly, only to be pushed back down onto the bed, those same knowing fingers sliding wetly between your thighs as a stubbled chin burns your own.” Craig closed his eyes for a moment, imagining Karl’s mouth against his own. “And then there’s that first tentative touch. It grows bolder, pushing into you, opening you, making a way for the two of you to be together.” He gulped as he remembered the last time he’d been touched like that. “Finally, he pushes inside you, and there’s bliss as your body remakes itself to include him. He’s touching you anywhere and everywhere at once...” Craig’s voice cracked, and he had to stop for a moment. Swallowing hard, Karl practically held his breath, waiting for Craig to keep talking.

“Every part of your body is hyper-sensitized,” Craig explains, “you can feel even the smallest move he makes, and then he’s thrusting in and out and there’s a place inside that - oh God - stars and explosions and confetti all around.” He smiled a bit, his breath hot against Karl’s ear. “And then he’s coming inside you, heating you from the inside out, and there’s nothing left to do but collapse together.”

Karl’s eyes closed, and his voice was a rasp when he finally spoke. “Craig?”

“Mmmm?” Craig hummed, eyes closed as he inhaled Karl’s clean scent.

The sounds from Karl were heated and rough as he sighed heavily - but it was more a sound of...pleasure. “I can feel it.”

==

“Well, aren’t you all chipper this morning?” Nurse Walker asked as she entered the sunny room. She was greeting both Karl and Craig - knowing they’d both be there.

Craig sat up, taking his feet down from where he’d had them propped on the heating unit. He stretched, the vertebra in his neck popping ominously. “‘s easy for you to say. You didn’t have to sleep in this chair.”

The nurse snorted. “There’s a perfectly good bed right over there,” she said, pointing to the full-size bed pushed against the far wall that was usually meant for another patient.

“Don’t let him fool you, Sally,” Karl drawled. “He fell asleep watching the telly again.”

Craig flicked his fingers at Karl’s nearby elbow, grinning evilly when the other man ‘oofed’ at the sensation that shot tingles down to his fingertips. “I’m a ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’ addict. It’s the only channel that is clear in this god-forsaken building,” he grumped.

Grinning, the nurse moved to incline Karl’s bed up. “Well, maybe we can do something about that,” she teased, starting to unsnap the heavy braces Karl had been confined to the past ten days since the surgery.

“Is Yolanda coming?” Karl asked, figuring it was bath time if the braces were coming off.

“No, no Yolanda,” Nurse Walker said.

“No Yolanda?” Karl repeated, confused as Sally pulled off the neck brace.

“That’s what I said,” Sally said humorously. She glanced to Craig. “Do we need to get his ears checked?”

Craig’s eyes strayed to the expanses of pale flesh revealed by the removed braces, and he couldn’t hold Sally’s gaze as he forgot to answer her, finally turning back with an ironic, “What?”

Raising an eyebrow, Nurse Walker just grinned, seeing the preoccupation on Craig’s face. “I said Karl is getting up and out of bed today.”

“I am?” Karl said in disbelief.

Craig snickered. “As opposed to getting up while in bed? That’s an improvement, Karl!” Sally cackled as she helped Karl roll to his side and then actually sit up so she could remove the back brace, while Karl’s eyes widened as he looked between Craig and the nurse, shooting Craig a look of embarrassment mixed with annoyance.

Craig had the good grace to look embarrassed at what he’d said about Karl. Moving to the side of the bed, he helped hold Karl in a sitting position as the brace was removed and he could see the angry red stitches and scars that looked painful despite Karl’s insistence otherwise.

Smiling, the nurse let Craig hold up Karl as she pushed the button to put the bed at almost 90 degrees. “There you go. Just relax a bit, get used to the feeling of being out of the brace, and I’ll be back.” Shooting a grin at Craig, she bustled out.

Craig settled onto the bed near Karl’s legs. “How does it feel?” He eyed Karl critically, ready to tell them to halt whatever plans they had for him if Karl didn’t feel up to them.

Karl had an odd look on his face. “Weird...I’m almost afraid to move for fear I’ll fall over to one side,” he said, carefully and slowly shifting his arms to grasp the bars on each side of his bed.

Settling his hands on either side of Karl’s trim waist to support him, Craig watched as the muscles in Karl’s arms tightened as he gripped the bars. “I won’t let you fall.”

Looking at Craig gratefully, he laid back carefully against the inclined bed and slowly took a breath, relaxing. After a minute or two, he raised an eyebrow. “I think I’m okay...it doesn’t hurt. I expected it to.”

A relieved grin crossed Craig’s face. “Good. I’m glad. This means we can get to working on your education that much sooner.”

Karl flashed a grin toward Craig. “Something to look forward to,” he chuckled. “Although I’d settle for going to the loo rather than this piece of work,” he said, gesturing to the catheter under the sheets. He’d complained about it often enough, he knew Craig knew what he was talking about.

“Maybe we can ask Sally about getting it out? If they’re going to be letting you move, maybe we can make the trip to the loo,” the older man suggested, measuring the distance to the restroom with a glance.

“Sounds like you’re ahead of me,” Nurse Walker said as she walked back in pushing a wheelchair.

“You’re taking it out?” Karl asked hopefully.

The nurse nodded. “Yes, and keep in mind, it’s been there awhile. You’re going to be sore. But it should heal up fine, you’ve been on plenty of antibiotics from the surgeries.”

Craig could almost see Karl deflate as the nurse mentioned soreness. “I guess you’ll have to wait a while to do as you planned?” He kidded gently.

Karl rolled his eyes. “I don’t care. I just want the damn thing gone. Makes me feel like an invalid.”

The nurse patted his shoulder. “You are an invalid, sweetheart. But you’re getting better. Now, do you want me to do this, or should I go get Earl?”

Karl wrinkled his nose in a gesture of distaste. “I don’t like Earl.”

Craig eased toward the door. “I’ll let the two of you have a little privacy...”

“Ten minutes, Mr. Parker, and I’ll be out,” the nurse said.

Nodding, Craig stepped outside the door. He bit his lip as he waited, expecting to hear a bellow of pain at any moment.

But there was no sound from the room other than the hushed murmur of the telly, until Karl’s voice came clear through the door, a sound of put upon dreaded amusement. “Awwwwww, man!”

Trying to keep a straight face, Nurse Walker exited the room, closing the door behind her. She nodded to Craig. “You can go in. He’s fine.”

Craig walked back into the dim light of the room, seeing Karl lean back against the bed. “Did she say you could massage the hurt out of it?”

Karl’s face was bright red, and he was biting his lip. “I didn’t ask,” he muttered.

“Why do you look so embarrassed?” Craig asked, stepping up to the bed and studying Karl’s colorful complexion.

Karl’s head thumped back on the bed behind him. “Yolanda’s going on vacation, and Sally said the duty nurses from the other wards are holding a raffle on who will get to help me take my first shower,” he muttered.

A smirk curled the corners of Craig’s mouth. “I see. Did she happen to say who had won?”

“Apparently the cat fight is at 3 this afternoon. She said it wouldn’t have been near as a big deal if Yolanda hadn’t brought in the Price of Milk DVD to show them what she saw every day.” If possible, he blushed even harder.

“Are there any special instructions regarding the shower?” Craig lowered the handrail on the side of the bed closest to him.

“That’s what I asked. I mean, why couldn’t I do it myself? She said if I fell it could be bad.” He sighed. “And since I don’t want Earl in here...” Karl made another disgusted face.

Craig helped Karl to a sitting position on the edge of the bed, reaching around behind him to untie the wrinkled hospital gown. “Any reason why I can’t help you?”

Karl looked over his shoulder at Craig, blinking. “You’d do that?” he asked cautiously.

The nurse chose that moment to re-enter. “OK, guys, the nurses’ raffle is in ten minutes, so I have some instructions for the bathroom,” she started.

“I want to do it,” Craig interrupted in a voice that allowed no objections or arguments. “You all have changed shifts or whatever, but I’m the only one who’s been here with him all of the time. I refuse to let anyone else do it.”

Nurse Walker looked at Craig’s determined face and Karl’s half-surprised, half-thoughtful face, and she smiled. “All right. Let me go cancel the raffle, and I’ll be back with those instructions.” She was out the door in a flash, not wanting to give Craig time to change his mind.

Karl tilted his head, looking at Craig. “Refuse to let anyone else do it?” he asked quietly, amusement glittering in his eyes.

“No sense in ruining your reputation with the ladies when your arse is pale from laying in bed too long.” Craig tried desperately to save face.

The smile on Karl’s face was sincere and conveyed a great deal of affection for the other man. “Thanks,” he simply said.

Craig shrugged. “‘s nothing. You can flash them if they want to see your arse that bad. Autograph copies of ‘Milk’ or something.”

Karl grinned again, not getting a snappy reply out before Sally came back in. “Well, Mr. Urban, you just broke thirteen hearts. Well done,” she congratulated him, highly amused. She carried a sheet of paper with her.

Karl rolled his eyes from his place on the bed. “I’m sure they’ll survive,” he said drolly.

“Tell them we can arrange autographs from Orlando Bloom,” Craig offered placatingly.

Sally smiled. “That would probably work for most of them.” She sighed a little. “Not my thing, I guess. Too young.”

“Sean Bean?” Craig offered, going a bit older. “I’m sure he’d donate to the cause.”

The nurse looked undecided, and Karl snickered. “I bet she’s got a crush on Vig.” When Sally blushed, he pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh aloud. But his shoulders still shook.

Craig mumbled something about a snaggle-toothed crazy American before smiling in return. “He loves Karl. He’d sign anything for his dear friend.”

“The man attracts women like bees to honey,” Karl muttered. “But for you, luv, I’ll take care of it.”

Nurse Walker grinned. “Thanks, that would be wonderful. Now...” she held up the piece of paper. “Common sense at all times, gentleman. No bending over, no leaning back. Hold onto the grab bars at all times. No...” she cleared her throat. “Ahem...activities...other than washing. At least for this first week, until we know your back can handle it.” Gentleman..> I think the plural would “ flow” better

“Activities? I’m afraid you have mistaken our relationship,” Craig smiled, making a mental list of what to do.

Sally just smiled, lips twitching for a moment. “The notes in the middle are for care of the stitches. They’re plastic, so you don’t have to keep them dry, just don’t rub them or pick at them.”

Karl made a face. “They already itch,” he muttered.

“They’re supposed to,” Craig tsked. “They’re healing. Healing skin itches.” Rising from his chair, he prepared to help Karl into the bathroom. “Any last instructions or hints?”

The nurse looked supremely amused. “The end of the paper is the list of activities you are cleared to attempt in your room, including exercises the physical therapist will teach you.” She moved to the door, unable to resist tossing over her shoulder. “Plenty of supplies in the bathroom.”

Craig looked mildly confused as he glanced at Karl. “Supplies? I’m assuming she means soap, shampoo and towels?”

Karl was looking at the paper Nurse Walker had left in his hand. His lips were pressed together even harder, then he folded the paper and stuck it under his pillow. “Sure. Ready to try this?” he said, a little too casually.

Eyes narrowing, Craig placed his fists on his narrow hips. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Blinking innocently, Karl raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” Again, a little too casual.

“I want to see that paper.” Craig advanced on the bed.

“It’s nothing. I’m really wanting this shower,” Karl practically wheedled.

Seeing the pleading look on Karl’s face, Craig gave in, helping Karl to stand for the first time since his injury.

Relieved, Karl slid his feet to the floor, making sure he felt steady before trying to get to his feet. As he stood, he winced a little at the soreness all over, and his weight leaving the bed jostled it just enough to tumble the pillows, and the piece of paper floated right to Craig’s feet.

Craig glanced from Karl to the elusive piece of paper, not trusting Karl’s legs enough to let go of him just yet.

Rolling his eyes, Karl huffed. “Masturbation’s on the list of approved activities,” he muttered.

Craig couldn’t hide the grin that split his face, no matter how much he tried to. Wrapping his arms around Karl’s waist, he chuckled. “Well - you did say you wanted to hold it...”

“Hell,” Karl muttered, his arms around Craig’s shoulders. “You’ll be the first to know, mate,” he said, shaking his head. “Course, I’ll be so nervous I won’t be able to get it up.”

“Maybe I can arrange to go get us some dinner. Let you have a little alone time or something,” Craig suggested sincerely.

Karl laid his forehead against Craig’s head. “Thanks,” he murmured. He’d been afraid to ask. Yeah, all their talking and flirting was one thing, but especially the first time - he wanted to make sure everything worked right.

Craig turned his head minutely, meeting Karl’s green gaze from up close. “No problem, mate.”

A smile tugged at Karl’s lips, and he spontaneously dropped a kiss on the tip of Craig’s nose. “Shower?” he asked.

Craig’s eyes widened. “You charmer, you...” They stepped slowly into the small bathroom, and Craig held onto Karl as he adjusted the taps until the temperature was as perfect as it could be. Sliding his hands along the split in the back of the gown, he tugged at the ties. “Ready?”

Brimming with excitement, Karl was thrilled to be upright - and not hurting too much - much less to be able to shower. He glanced at Craig as he started to shrug off the blue hospital gown. “You’re gonna get soaked, mate,” he said.

Looking down at his clothes, Craig shrugged. “Hazard of the job, I guess.”

Karl caught the gown that was sliding off his arms. “I sure we can arrange for you to have one of these lovely, fashionable creations...” He paused before letting it drop, holding it in front of him. “Uh. Not that I’ve ever been shy before, but...you sure you want me to shuck this thing?” he asked cautiously.

“‘s up to you. I don’t mind,” Craig replied, making himself be as professional as possible. He avoided looking at Karl as he reached for the cotton gown.

Making a face, Karl let the gown drop. “I think I’ve more than earned this damn shower,” he murmured, his voice pained. “Ready?” he asked.

“Let’s do it.” Craig guided Karl into the shower, turning him so the water didn’t beat down on the sutures in his back.

Holding tightly to Craig with one arm and the grab bar with his other hand, Karl stepped into the water and immediately groaned in absolute bliss. “Can I stay here a few hours?” he begged piteously.

“And turn into a prune? The nurses will kill me!” Craig pretended to be offended. “Besides, I’ll need to go get dinner while you get re-acquainted with your better half.”

Before he could stop himself, Karl looked straight down at himself, and then his chin snapped up and he blushed.

Craig forced his eyes to remain on Karl’s face, so he noticed the delicate blush that stained the other man’s cheeks. He grinned. “I’m guessing it works?”

Karl narrowed his eyes. “It’s still there,” he said obviously. “I’m happy enough with that right now,” he muttered.

Craig smiled. “I could offer to help you with it, but I don’t want to offend you.”

Blinking, Karl looked at his friend. He stood right next to him in the shower stall, one arm about his waist to give him balance. His T-shirt was already soaked through and his jeans well on the way. His hair was damp and sticking up a bit from the steam. Karl nervously licked his lips. “Okay,” he said.

Eyes widening slightly, Craig barely knew whether to take Karl seriously. “Is this because you want to erase memories of Yolanda?”

The hot water and steam relaxing the tight muscles in his neck and shoulders, Karl easily shook his head, his eyes not leaving Craig’s face. Inside, he was scared as hell. Why was he doing this? Just for fun? It could ruin their friendship...but he wanted it, and badly. He just couldn’t put into words why.

Settling his hand tentatively on Karl’s waist, Craig watched the younger Kiwi’s face as he moved it slowly up, tracing the ribs that were more evident than before. He circled a dark nipple before letting his fingertip slip slowly down the center of Karl’s chest, toward his navel.

Karl’s breath caught at the first touch, but he didn’t speak, just dropping his eyes to watch the journey of Craig’s touch. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth as the tiny bit of stimulation caught spark, and he felt a tell-tale curling in his gut. Without thinking, a soft whimper escaped, and Karl hoped to hell it was lost in the sound of the water.

Craig’s body heated at the soft sounds that fell from Karl’s lips, and his cock began to fill, straining at the wet denim plastered to it. He dropped his gaze and watched as he first touched Karl, stroking gently. To look into that face would make this real...to make it more than a favor asked from a friend.

The light touches to his cock relieved him, Karl could feel it just fine, and he suspected it wouldn’t take much for Craig to realize what affect his touch was having. But when he glanced up, he saw that Craig was looking down and away, not at him at all. Karl was surprised to feel disappointed. “Thank you,” he murmured, not sure what else to say - he didn’t want Craig to stop, but he wasn’t sure he should ask him to continue. The other man didn’t look to be enjoying it himself. And Karl wouldn’t force himself on anyone.

Something in Karl’s tone made Craig lift his gaze, and he found himself staring into those lovely dark eyes. His heart pitched in his chest, and he exhaled deeply as his fingers tightened slightly. Karl inhaled sharply, knuckles turning white as he grasped the bar, because when Craig’s fingers had tightened into a fist...his cock had twitched in obvious response. His eyes focused on first Craig’s lips and slowly lifted to meet bright blue eyes that were trained on him. Craig stroked him after feeling the twitch in his hand, giving the flesh in his fist a few slow tugs. Karl was so close to him that he could feel the heat seeping into him the same as the water seeping into his clothes. He wondered when he’d moved closer.

He hadn’t noticed how gorgeous Craig’s eyes were, how innocently sexy. Biting his lip again, Karl moved his hips slightly to push into Craig’s hand, lips parting on a gasp as the stimulation made him start to obviously harden.

Making sure to brace Karl with his free arm, Craig took Karl’s hand and linked their fingers, wrapping both around Karl’s cock. “You’re holding it,” he pointed out needlessly.

Karl swallowed hard and nodded, moving both their hands to slide up and down just a bit, the resulting tingle warming his groin. “Yeah,” he whispered.

Arm tightening gently, Craig’s soaked body was brought closer to Karl’s slick body. “It...you...it works...”

Karl shifted closer, and their hands brushed their thighs where they were entwined and moving. Craig’s arm around him was reassuring, and he let loose of the grab bar to raise his hand to cup Craig’s cheek. “Yeah,” he whispered again.

Craig moved his head slightly, lips parted as he agreed to Karl’s agreement. He could feel Karl’s breath washing over his mouth, and he wanted to taste Karl so badly. Instead, he settled for nuzzling his chin.

Unconsciously hitching his hips into their combined fist, Karl groaned as he felt a stronger reaction, and there was no denying the lengthening erection. His hand holding Craig’s cheek, he lifted that sweet face. “Let me kiss you?” he asked hoarsely, tossing propriety and worries about friendship to the wind. He felt good for the first time in far too long.

Craig’s chin lifted slowly, bringing their lips closer together. He opened lust-hazed eyes to see Karl staring at him intently, and it made him pulse inside his wet jeans. “Please.”

Karl’s lips were right there, pressing against Craig’s in the wet, tongue sliding along that alluring lower lip as Karl tilted the other man’s chin up to make it easier to kiss him that much more. Now undeniably aroused, he squeezed his fingers - and Craig’s - about himself more tightly. Craig’s hand began sliding in the same rhythm as their tongues, catching and swirling at the same instances in time. He moaned into Karl’s mouth, fingers of his hand spreading low across the top curve of Karl’s arse.

Tongue sliding in to taste, Karl moaned, his arm wrapping around Craig to keep himself steady. His best friend tasted so incredibly sweet...”So good,” he whispered against Craig’s lips as they pulled apart to breathe. His hand was still curled, tangled with Craig’s, encircling his erect cock. “Fuck...” he muttered. “We’re already breakin’ the rules,” he moaned as he pushed into their hands again.

“Thought...masturbation was...was okay...” Craig grunted, stroking Karl more firmly.

Karl’s answer was a soft wail. “Not supposed to...in the shower...” he gasped, holding on to Craig for dear life, even pulling his hand away from his cock, curling the other man’s fingers fully about him. Hips undulating, Karl whimpered again. “Christ...I’m gonna...”

Craig pumped faster, wanting to give Karl release...wanting to prove to his friend that he was still whole. “I’ll hold you,” he promised, letting Karl use his fist.

Shuddering hard, the dark-haired man clung to Craig as the squeezing and stroking tossed him over the edge, and Karl bent over just enough to press his face into Craig’s neck, muffling the ecstatic cry that ripped from him.

A wide, relieved grin crossed Craig’s face as Karl fell apart against him. He stroked Karl through the aftershocks, a gentle smile on his lips as he reached for the soap and began to wash Karl off. Karl draped both arms over Craig’s shoulders and just held on, his body replete though trembling, his worries allayed...and his heart caught. He wondered what he’d just done - would it drive Craig away? Would he treat it like their joking and flirting?

Seeing Karl’s exhaustion, Craig made quick work of washing him off before removing him from the shower stall to wrap him gently in a soft towel. He let his arms linger around the other man as he dried him carefully. At last, Karl was dressed in real pajamas instead of that sorry excuse for a gown he’d been in before, although Craig had rather liked the open back. “You should go back to bed now.”

Tired, Karl didn’t even protest, walking slowly - but not so stiffly - back to the bed, where Craig helped him sit and swing his legs back up. Once safely on his side, Karl caught at Craig’s hand. His skin was still damp and chilled in the cool room, but he held on to Karl’s slim fingers. Karl’s eyes were solemn and honest. “Thanks,” he murmured.

Lifting a shoulder, Craig ducked his head. “No problem.”

Seeing that his friend seemed uncomfortable, Karl’s gut clenched uneasily. He let his friend’s hand go reluctantly so the other man could get out of his soaked clothes. Craig didn’t want to leave the room, but as a shiver wracked his frame, he turned away from Karl. In the safety of the bathroom, he peeled off his wet clothes, hanging them in the shower to dry. He had nothing to wear, so he wrapped a towel around his waist before emerging into the quiet room again. He glanced over at Karl, seeing the other man’s eyes closed. He cursed himself for the regret he’d caused Karl to feel as he climbed into the extra bed and wrapped the thin blanket around himself.

Not even close to asleep, Karl still acted like it when he heard the bathroom door open. He didn’t want Craig to be uncomfortable. Rather the opposite. He managed to stifle a deep sigh, instead stirring just slightly as if settling into sleep. He lay awake for a long time.

Seeing that Karl was asleep, Craig turned toward the wall and pulled the covers tighter. He shivered as he clenched his eyes shut. He’d made a big mistake. Oh - he’d wanted to touch Karl and bring him pleasure, but it was over now and likely would never happen again.

==

The orderly wheeled a sweaty and tired Karl back into his room, locking down the chair and leaving with a cheerful wave to the other occupant of the room. Everyone was used to Craig being here now, in fact, some of the nurses stopped to talk to him instead of Karl.

“Session go okay today?” Craig asked without looking up from the crossword puzzle he was working on.

Karl made a noncommittal sound as he carefully lifted himself from the chair. He wasn’t usually too talkative after his physical therapy sessions, which were somewhat painful and always draining.

It killed Craig to watch Karl move himself when he was obviously tired and sore, but the nurses had encouraged him to let Karl do as much for himself as possible. “One of your movies is on the telly tonight.”

Holding onto the bed rail as he steadied himself, Karl answered “Yeah?” quietly.

“That horrid movie with the ship that kills people,” Craig continued. “Why were you in that one again?”

Karl snickered. “That one’s got a reputation in the horror market,” he objected mildly. “And it was a good paycheck, actually. Plus I got to hang about with Julianna.” His face paled as he shifted himself onto the bed. His pallor had paled quite a bit in the six weeks in this room, and he had lost more weight, but he was moving about on his own now.

“Julianna. Ah - I see,” Craig mumbled, marking in another word in the puzzle. He glanced across to see Karl pulling the sheets up over his legs. “We can watch it if you want to ogle her.”

“Didn’t ogle her,” Karl protested weakly as he finally lay back against the pillows. “Talked to her about acting mostly. People she’d worked with, people I’d worked with. She has a crush on Bean.”

Craig snorted. “Who doesn’t?”

Karl snickered. “I didn’t know Sean had caught your eye.”

An eyebrow lifted sarcastically. “Would it have mattered if he did catch my eye? This is Sean Bean we’re talking about.”

“Well, sure it matters. You’re not chopped liver yourself, mate,” Karl stated positively.

Craig looked back down at the puzzle, shoulders lifting in a slight shrug. “I was nobody. I had nobody until Joel. I was on the fringes more often than not.”

Leaning his head back against the pillow, Karl watched Craig. They’d been slightly uncomfortable with each other since that first shower, though they’d managed one a day since. “You’re not nobody,” he murmured. “Not to me.”

Craig glanced across again. “And I’m sure not you, either.”

Karl frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You were rather popular with the crowd, weren’t you? Pub nights? Parties?” Craig filled in another word on the puzzle.

Lowering his eyes, Karl couldn’t refute Craig’s words. It had been better than going home alone and sitting in the dark. “Don’t know about popular, but I ran with the crowd, yeah,” he admitted.

“Did you know I redecorated my flat during filming?” The older Kiwi asked idly.

Karl glanced up, brow furrowing. “You did?”

“Yeah. Repainted all the walls, tore up the carpets and installed hardwood and tile. Put in a wall of windows on one side of the house and in my bedroom. Redid the garden too, adding all kinds of tropical plants and even a few singing tree frogs.” He toyed with the ink pen, clicking it annoyingly. “I had a lot of spare time.”

Silent for a couple awkward minutes, Karl finally spoke up. “You never said anything. About any of it.”

“What was there to say? ‘Hey guys, I’d like to come with you. I won’t be the fifth wheel, will I? Three’s a crowd, you say? Sorry.’” Craig couldn’t look at Karl.

Now somewhat annoyed, Karl snapped back. “How about, ‘Hey, I’m doing some work at the house, want to come by and see?’ or ‘Mate, I could use a hand at the house, how about an evening this week?’” Karl said waspishly. “There were plenty of times I wished for something to do besides trolling the bars, but you weren’t around and the few times I tried calling, you didn’t answer.”

Spots of high color began to burn on Craig’s cheeks and his breathing quickened. “Helping me tear up filthy carpet would be worth leaving your <i>friends</i> for? I find that hard to believe.”

“What friends?” Karl retorted sharply. “Guys who wanted me along to score some skirts, the Fellowship that, while great guys, were more interested in spending time with each other than the new guy.” He shook his head. “You didn’t even think to give me a chance, did you?” he said painfully.

“Where was my chance?” Craig retorted in a voice that was quickly losing steam.

“All you had to do was pick up the damn mobile! When have you ever not had my number?” Karl asked, now hurt and lashing out, remembering all the lonely nights wondering what Craig was up to. “I figured after three ignored messages I ought to get the point and let you alone. That hurt, Craig,” he rasped. “But because we were friends I put it aside.”

“Three messages?” Craig questioned, thinking hard. He didn’t remember getting any messages from Karl.

The look on Karl’s face was forlorn. “Yeah, left on your voice mail at your flat. The number you gave me when I first arrived on set.”

Remembering the phone that had been knocked off and destroyed as he’d carried in supplies, Craig groaned, covering his eyes.

Glancing over, Karl narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“You won’t believe me if I tell you.” Craig hedged.

Karl frowned. “It’s not going to make me feel any worse about it all,” he muttered.

Craig sighed before leaning back against the pillows propped behind him. “That phone was decimated by a stack of hardwood.”

Staring at him hard for a long moment, Karl rolled his eyes. “You’re right, I don’t believe you,” he snapped.

Shrugging a final time, Craig shot back, “Don’t expect you to.” And with that, he turned over and flipped off the light above his bed.

More angry at himself for egging Craig on, Karl flopped his head back against the pillow several times. “Craig...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have railed at you,” he finally said quietly.

Craig debated on acknowledging the apology, his stubbornness working against him even as he felt Karl drawing farther away from him. He was quiet for several long moments before replying. “No - I apologize. I should have asked you around. I just figured you were too busy.”

Not knowing what to say, Karl was quiet a long time before he admitted, “I was lonely,” in a quiet voice.

“So was I.” Craig turned to face Karl.

Their eyes met across the dark room. Feeling that same loneliness keenly, Karl turned his arm, palm up, and extended it toward Craig in a silent bid for truce. Sliding as far across the bed as possible, Craig tried reaching for Karl’s hand, but fell short. He climbed from the bed and approached cautiously, sitting in the chair near Karl’s bed before taking the offered hand.

“Can we not do that again?” Karl asked in a shaky voice. “I don’t think I could stand it if I drove you off now.”

“Not even if I drive you to it?” Craig asked, the joke in his voice falling flat.

Since the accident, Karl’s nerves had been understandably thin, and now they were stretched to the point of breaking. His eyes watered as he whispered, “Please...”

“I promise to do my best,” Craig offered, unable to give Karl more. Karl curled Craig’s fingers through his as he nodded, closing his eyes and promising himself he would be better, be nicer, be more appreciative. Whatever Craig needed.

Feeling the stress of the argument pushing down on his shoulders in addition to having been there for so long, Craig stood up quickly. “How about I go get us some good food? Maybe some Thai or something...” He needed to get out of there fast.

Chest aching, Karl nodded. “Sure,” he rasped. “Something other than JELL-O and dry chicken,” he tried to joke, but it sounded awfully hollow to his own ears.

Nodding, Craig rushed out of the room, casting a ‘back soon’ over his shoulder. He barely made it into the public restrooms before he broke down, huddling in a stall as he pulled at the toilet paper to wipe his eyes.

Nurse Walker sat at her station, having seen Craig flee the room. She bit her lip, trying to decide what to do. She knew - regardless of what the two men said - that they really cared for each other. And unlike some of the other nurses, to her that didn’t necessarily mean sleeping with each other. She sighed and pulled out the patient’s paperwork and picked up the phone to call a certain doctor.

Cursing the cheap one-ply paper in the stall, Craig grew frustrated before punching the dispenser. He finally gave up, sliding to the floor and burying his face in his hands.

Hanging up the phone, the nurse winced as she heard a clang from the restroom. Girding her courage, she gathered her clipboard and folder and headed to Karl’s room. Glancing in, Karl appeared to be curled on his side, facing away from the door, a new position for him to be in with his back. The nurse tilted her head, studying him. Maybe he was in better shape than they had anticipated. She stepped back quietly and walked over to the restroom, tapping quietly on the door.

Craig went quiet, not wanting anyone to see him like this. The nurse pushed the door open, peeking around into the carpeted room. “Craig?” she asked quietly, hesitantly, not sure he’d want to be disturbed.

“Tell me,” Craig began in a watery, cynical voice, “why this is the nicest hospital I’ve ever been in but the toilet paper is the cheapest thing ever made...”

Sally’s face pulled into a sympathetic smile and she entered the room, walking over to the staff cabinet. She pulled out a box of Puffs Plus and walked over to the closed stall, sliding it under the dividing wall.

Craig’s hand was visible as he pulled a couple of tissues from the box before nudging it back out. “Thanks.”

Picking up the box, the nurse waited a bit. “I can’t imagine how you’re holding up. You’ve been here constantly for five weeks,” she said quietly.

“He needed me,” Craig answered, figuring the simple words to be explanation enough. Wiping at his eyes, he blew his nose before flushing the loo and leaving the cubicle. Washing his hands, he winced as the cold water washed over his raw knuckles, but he held them under the spray by force. “He needed me,” he repeated, “so I had to be here.”

Standing by the wall, arms holding her clipboard against her chest, Sally leaned her head against the wall. “But what do you need?” she asked, concern clear. “You can’t go on like this.”

“I need him,” Craig admitted in a coarse voice, not daring to meet her eyes in the mirror.

Her lips pressed as she held back expressing her emotions. He didn’t need that. Finally she asked, “Does he know that?”

Turning off the water, Craig didn’t answer. Instead, he rolled off some paper towels and began to blot at his sore hand. Biting her lip, the nurse walked over and lightly took his hand in hers, seeing the split knuckles. She opened the small medicine cabinet and pulled out some antibiotic ointment. “Won’t you tell him?” she asked quietly.

“For what purpose? To make him so uncomfortable that he can’t look at me? To make him stop talking to me as soon as he leaves here? After the shower...” He broke off, hissing as the ointment was smoothed over his knuckles.

Sally’s brow hitched, and she really wanted to ask, but discretion managed to win out. “How can you be sure he doesn’t feel the same? Whenever I’m in there and you’re not, you’re all he talks about.”

“He has a son. He... he was curious.” Craig tried to explain.

Sally’s eyes narrowed. “He has a son. So that means he can only be jerking you around?” she asked just a bit sharply as she closed the cabinet door with a snap. “Maybe he’s curious because he’s interested.”

Craig’s eyes filled as he looked at her for a moment before pushing past her to leave the restroom. “I promised him Thai.”

“Craig...” she said, turning to chase him to the door and hold it shut. “Please, just listen a moment.”

“No,” Craig answered, voice growing hard as he continued. “You listen to me. I will not ruin a friendship because of some stupid, silly crush I’ve had on my best friend for years. “

“How can it ruin your relationship if he feels the same way?” she said urgently, her voice a pleading whisper. “He just doesn’t know how to express it!”

“I don’t know that he does feel the same way.” Craig argued back. “We - we were intimate. It changed nothing. It made things more forced between us. Why would that happen if he felt the same way?”

“Jesus, Craig! Think about it! You said yourself he’s been straight. He’s probably scared to death he’ll do something to make you leave him! I know for a fact that he’s seriously attached to you...or more. It’s so clear in his eyes.” She looked at him evenly. “Just like it’s clear in yours.”

“I just...I don’t see it.” Craig whispered roughly.

Caring was written all over the nurse’s face as she cupped his cheek with one hand. “It’s obvious to anyone who looks at the two of you,” she assured him. “I’ve been watching you for five weeks. I can’t imagine how you’ve managed to get along hiding this from him.” She shook her head, and her voice grew determined. “And now, it’s time to either put up...or shut up. Permanently.”

Craig knew she was right. He also knew what his decision would have to be. Karl wasn’t ready for anything at this point in his life, so Craig would have to back off of the flirting and simply be the friend the younger man needed. The nurse could see Craig withdrawing, and it was almost enough to break her heart. She was usually very carefully not to get emotionally invested with her patients...but with these two, it had been unavoidable. “He needs you, Craig. He needs your support, your help, your guidance,” she said. “And he needs your love.”

“And how am I supposed to give it to him?” Craig asked with a sarcastic laugh. “Just waltz in there and say, ‘oh, by the way, I’ve loved you for years’?”

“Maybe not right away, true,” Sally answered. “But you can show him.” She sighed. “He’s been cleared to leave the hospital, Craig. He’s going to have to return several times a week for at the least several months. So he’s going to have to make plans. If you can’t...or won’t...commit to him, maybe you ought to leave now,” she said, knowing it was harsh. But she didn’t want to see Karl hurt any more, either.

Craig reached for the door once more, intending to move Sally physically if she didn’t move herself. After all, she’d made it clear he should leave. But she determinedly held her ground. “Think about it carefully, Craig. There’s no reason to punish yourself...or him. Think about what you could have together.” When the man wouldn’t look up at her, she moved aside, dropping her head in resignation.

Pulling some bills from his pocket, Craig thrust them at her. “He’s expecting Thai food.”

Blinking and looking up in surprise, the nurse blinked and snatched at the money. “I’ll take care of it,” she said, hope tinging her voice. Taking a deep breath, Nurse Walker stepped out of the bathroom. She knew she couldn’t interfere anymore, so she quietly headed back to the nurse’s station to order the Thai food.

Stepping outside the restroom door, Craig glanced back and forth between Karl’s door and the corridor leading to the exit. He was completely undecided and the feeling left him unhinged. He was far from resolute when he turned toward Karl’s door, but each step closer seemed to reinforce his decision. Pushing the door open on the dim room for the millionth time, he could barely make out the huddled form on the bed in front of him. He didn’t say a word as he approached silently, instead choosing to let his actions speak for him as he climbed into Karl’s wide bed behind him, wrapping his arms carefully around the quiet figure.

As the footsteps approached, Karl’s shoulders tightened. He knew something was wrong between him and Craig, but he didn’t know what, and he didn’t know how to fix it. He just knew he didn’t want Craig to leave him. Just the thought of it scared him, a fact he didn’t want to investigate too closely just yet. When the bed dipped behind him and arms slid around him, Karl almost choked on a sob of relief.

Burying his face in the warmth of Karl’s neck, Craig slid his fingers between the buttons of the other man’s pajamas, letting them settle over the slightly unsteady thump of heartbeat. He inhaled deeply, letting Karl’s scent wash over him and calm him. Karl slid one of his hands to lie over Craig’s. It shook slightly as his fingers settled, and his lips trembled as he tried to speak, but the words stuck in his throat, so he didn’t try.

When the nurse came to the door with the Thai food about 30 minutes later, they were still there, curled about one another.

==

A week later, the tentative truce between the both of them still made Craig a bit uneasy. There shouldn’t have had to be a truce between them to begin with. It was all because of his wretched self and the unreasonable crush he’d developed on his best mate. He rolled his eyes as he entered the hospital once more, envelope tucked beneath his arm. Pushing Karl’s door open, he called, “Good morning, sunshine...”

Karl glanced up from where he perched on the side of the bed, slowly doing his leg exercises. He was sweating with the exertion of it. “Hey,” he answered tiredly, though he offered the other man a smile. He knew everything between he and Craig wasn’t right - not by a far shot - but he was trying to do everything he could to ease the way.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Craig offered platonically, settling beside Karl on the bed, close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off of Karl’s body, but not close enough to touch.

Lips quirking a bit more, Karl turned his chin to look at his friend. “Yeah?” he asked, before getting a suspicious look in his eyes. “Wait a minute - the last time you had a surprise it was that fan video from online with all our Rings co-stars showing off their bits and bobbles in various movies.”

Craig laughed, the sound echoing in the room as he remembered Karl’s blush and apparent discomfort at watching the video. “No man porn for you, baby,” he cooed, holding the envelope just out of Karl’s reach.

Karl continued to watch Craig mock-distrustfully. “And no music videos of my movies all cut together, making me out to be some kind of poster boy who has women creaming their scanties?” he prodded, though he did lean and try to swipe at the envelope.

Pulling the envelope further out of Karl’s reach, Craig grinned. “You certainly do make women cream their panties.” Wriggling his eyebrows, he added, “And some men have been known to lose their...um...composure...while watching you.”

Boggling, Karl froze. “Men?” he almost squeaked. He hadn’t thought about that before.

“Now THAT’S an appealing look,” Craig giggled. “Maybe I should snap a photo and forward it to the head of your fan club?”

“Fan club?!” This time Karl did squeak. He’d never thought enough about fandom to even start up a Web site, much less have someone organize a fan club.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Craig tsked. “You know there is a legion of fan-girls out there who lust over your fit body. And maybe a few fan-boys, too. In fact...” He let his voice trail off as he wriggled his eyebrows again.

Karl’s surprise morphed into a curious consideration. “Fan-boys, too, huh?” he asked as he looked at his friend. “Are you the head mouseketeer, then, mate?” he joked, though he wished he could be serious about it.

“No,” Craig admitted honestly, “But I do write these fabulous stories about you shagging other blokes.” If it had been physically possible, Karl’s eyes would have popped out of his head as his jaw dropped to his lap. “You looked shocked, dear heart,” Craig spoke in a falsely sweet, overly southern tone.

At a total loss for words, Karl looked like a goldfish with his mouth opening and closing. “You write...me...shagging other blokes?” His voice got higher and higher.

“Calm down, Karl,” Craig smiled, scooting back a bit. “I was just kidding.”

Karl’s mouth worked, opening and closing a few times more, and then he frowned deeply at Craig. “That was just plain mean,” he blamed, his cheeks reddened.

“Oh come on. Do you really want me imagining you shagging a bloke?” Craig asked, ducking his head just a bit to hide the flush that covered his own cheeks at the thought.

“I thought you...” the words were out before Karl could stop them, and he flushed again. They hadn’t even remotely talked about or referred to sex since that first shower, and Karl had been getting increasingly horny. Craig remained silent, picking at the sheet between them.

“Thought you were going to help...educate me,” Karl murmured, recalling a conversation they had weeks ago when he was laid up and miserable. “Those stories could be good reference material, I guess,” he tried.

A slender shoulder lifted and fell as Craig shrugged. “I figured you’d had enough of an education.”

Karl wasn’t sure it would be such a great idea to admit that he’d been looking forward to expanding his education...with Craig. Still. He reached over and tilted up Craig’s chin. “So why tease me about it?” he asked gently.

“Because you’re so easily teased?” Craig answered with a question of his own. “Why do you want to know so badly? Planning on finally seducing Sean?”

A huge grin flashed onto Karl’s face. “Wouldn’t that be somethin’, though, the look on his face when he figured out what was going on?” he chortled.

A flash of disappointment throbbed in Craig’s chest. “I’m sure he’d be pleased.”

Karl shook his head. “I’m not interested in Sean. He’s so straight it’s not even funny.”

Remembering how well Sean and Karl had got along, Craig asked, “So you’d settle, then?”

Peering at Craig, Karl corrected him. “It’s not settling if I don’t want him in the first place, yeah? Sides...if I were going to...” he shrugged. “Guess it’s kind of pointless to talk about this now. Anything beyond a hand job is still on the “no” list,” he said quietly. “Sorry. I should have dropped it.”

“There’s nothing to say that you can’t pursue getting another one,” Craig suggested idly before handing the envelope over to Karl, all pretenses of teasing dropped as he handed a copy of a lease agreement over to the other man. “In hopes of your quick recovery...”

Distracted from Craig’s comment, Karl’s brows drew together as he unfolded the paper. “A lease agreement? For a house in Santa Fe?”

“You’re going to need to be close,” Craig murmured as he picked at the sheet once more. “The house is a mile away. It’ll be easy to bring you back and forth for rehab.”

Blinking, Karl looked up at Craig. “You did this...for me? I get to leave the hospital?”

“Sally said it’s safe for you to be in a house now. As long as someone is there to help you. I can hire someone, if you’d like...”

“What...what are you going to do?” Karl asked shakily. Any pleasure he’d felt in hearing about the house drained away when he realized Craig just might be leaving.

“I want,” Craig started, wondering if he should divulge the truth, “I want to stay with you, but if you don’t feel comfortable, I can hire someone.”

“No!” Karl objected, grabbing Craig’s hand and then speaking again. “I want you to stay with me,” he said, wishing he could explain even more.

Turning his hand so that their fingers were entwined, Craig smiled genuinely. “Then I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”

The tension flowed out of Karl. He wanted to tell Craig that meant he’d be sticking around a really long time, but instead he leaned forward and kissed the corner of Craig’s mouth lightly. Craig’s eyes closed at the gentle caress, his lips turning to meet Karl’s only to find emptiness as the other man backed away once more. He forced a smile onto his tingling lips.

Karl’s lips pressed together. He could tell Craig’s smile was not quite right. “What can I do, Craig?” he whispered. “What can I do to make things right between us again? Cause it’s tearing me up, us being all awkward and quiet.”

“It’s not your fault.” Craig reassured Karl. “I don’t know that there’s anything you can do. I should have kept my distance from you instead of making you feel awkward around me.” He couldn’t look Karl in the eye. “I should have kept my mouth shut. Let you go on with your life the way it was... I should have been a supportive friend, offering all and expecting none in return.”

Determined, Karl lifted Craig’s chin. “Look at me, Craig.” When blue eyes finally met his, he asked. “What do you mean, you should have kept your distance?”

Craig’s eyes were anguished as he met Karl’s gaze. “I shouldn’t have been so familiar with you. I knew how I felt...it’s just - difficult - being around you and not wanting you.”

A spike of hope shot through Karl’s chest. “So you’re wanting me...” he started at a whisper, “and you think you shouldn’t?” He wanted to be totally clear on this before saying anything else.

“Hell, no, I shouldn’t!” Craig burst out, angry with himself. “You’ve got too much to deal with without worrying about me wanting you!”

Thrilled and relieved at the same time, Karl reached up, cupped Craig’s face in both hands and kissed him, full on the lips, pouring his nerves and anticipation into it, hoping it would be enough. The pressure of Karl’s lips, if not the surprise of the action, ended Craig’s self-directed tirade. Instead of arguing his point further, Craig found himself bracing a hand on Karl’s thigh as he threatened to fall forward. His lips parted, the heady taste of Karl’s breath making him feel slightly drunk.

Moaning against Craig’s lips, Karl leaned closer, determined not to let Craig get away. He’d said he wanted to be with Karl. He said he wanted him. To Karl, that was about as good an admission as he could have hoped for. He slid one hand into Craig’s dark hair and continued kissing him, his tongue venturing to lap against Craig’s lower lip. This was more than Craig had ever imagined, having Karl to hold him and kiss him like this. It would have been so easy to let it progress even further, but a faint beeping in the outer corridor brought him crashing back to reality with a thud. Breaking the kiss, Craig pulled back, eyes still closed and breaths coming shallowly as he tried to regain control over his body. He couldn’t help but steal another kiss from Karl’s lips, a soft peck as he reopened his eyes and smiled.

Karl felt the last, light kiss and he smiled, a small, tender smile, his eyes still closed, dark eyelashes splayed across his pale cheekbones. He felt warm and tingly all over - and he knew it was because of Craig. He opened his eyes to see the most beautiful smile ever - and it was like the bottom of his stomach dropped out - the want was unbelievable - but mysteriously calm as they sat together.

Craig’s hand lifted to gently cup Karl’s face, his thumb tracing a high cheekbone. There was no hurry. He wanted Karl. He wanted the other man more than he wanted his next breath, but all in its own good time. First, he’d make sure Karl was physically and emotionally ready for the next step; then he’d make sure they were somewhere private so that there’d be no danger of interruption. He had the feeling that if he ever started loving Karl - physically - he’d be unable to stop.

==

Though he hated it, Karl sat back down in the wheelchair after Craig helped him out of the car. He felt weak and drained, just from riding in the chair out of the hospital to the car, then riding in the car to the house - true to Craig’s words, only a mile away.

Anxious and thrilled at the same time, Karl craned his neck to try to look down the street as Craig turned into a gated community with sprawling houses on decent-sized lots. “Vista Redondo,” Karl read on the sign.

“Otherwise known as ‘home of the delectable Karl Urban for as long as Craig Parker can keep him’,” Craig grinned, pulling into the drive of a sprawling single-level home.

Karl’s eyes widened as he took in the impressive adobe and log home. “This...is the house?” he asked, mouth gaping. It was gorgeous. Wood, Southwestern flavor, stone fireplace climbing up the outside wall, and a walk-in garage so Karl could pass on the steps to the front door.

Pretending to be less than impressed with the tasteful structure, Craig pressed a button on the console of the vehicle. “Not much to look at, is it?” He pulled the car smoothly into the double-garage, noting with pride that work crew had done an excellent job at fitting the house for Karl. The new steps were wide and shallow, the handrail waxed and gleaming in the afternoon sun that streamed in through the open garage door.

“You could park three cars in here and still have room for a romp!” Karl marveled. “All I ever owned was a flat in Auckland. Never thought about an actual house...always figured that was for the likes of Viggo, you know, his ranch up north.” He was peering out the window, trying to look into the house.

Craig shut the car off and climbed out. He stopped to stretch as he rounded the car, finally opening Karl’s door and offering him a hand up. “You’re not planning on romping in the garage are you?” A sculpted eyebrow rose inquiringly. “The concrete doesn’t look that comfortable. And I do believe that there’s a huge bed waiting for you in the main house, with plenty of room for rolling around.”

“No, wanker, I’ve got no plans to romp today,” he muttered. Karl stood up carefully, the thick back brace making it difficult to sit or stand. But it was the rule for whenever he would be walking, at least for now. And the two canes, one for each arm. Eager to see the house - didn’t even turn up his nose at the wheelchair – he was too unsteady after physical therapy to use the canes.

“I’ve had ramps installed so that you’d have freer movement throughout the home,” Craig informed Karl as he pushed the chair up the ramp. “Most of the house is single-level, but there are a few rooms that are recessed or up a small flight of stairs. The ramps should help with that, especially on the days you’re using the chair.” Craig was nearly vibrating with excitement at bringing Karl into the home.

The garage opened to a small mudroom, but the door was straight ahead, so it was easy to navigate. Karl’s breath caught as Craig wheeled him into the kitchen. The entire house extended before him, a totally open floor plan. There was an island in the kitchen, but still plenty of room to maneuver. The stone fireplace was huge in the corner, and some large, overstuffed chairs and couches stood about, not even making a dent in the huge, sunny space. “Wow,” was all that came out.

Craig grinned at Karl’s reaction, somewhat relieved. “Reminded me of your sunny personality.” Pushing Karl a bit further into the main room, he wheeled the chair to a stop in a huge beam of sunlight coming in through the wide panes of glass. “This ought to keep you warm when I’m not able to,” Craig flirted.

The happy grin was natural as Karl laid his hand against the glass, feeling the warmth. That had been one of his complaints in the hospital. He’d been cold all the time. Now, he looked up with sparkling eyes. “It’s incredible,” he said.

Flopping bonelessly onto an ottoman near Karl, Craig merely watched his friend’s face. “Yeah - it is rather incredible.” He was referring to the way Karl seemed to absorb the sunlight, emitting a warm glow.

Almost giddy, Karl wheeled himself slowly about the room - checking out the fireplace, the exposed wooden beams in the walls, the television and electronics closed away in a handmade armoire. He passed a set of stairs and headed to a wide hallway. “What’s this way?” he asked, stopping on the rug.

“Why don’t you go and find out?” Craig suggested in a lazy tone, stretching himself over the cushioned piece of furniture.

Another grin flashed across Karl’s face, and he pushed the wheels to move the chair down the hallway. A neat bedroom, then another, with a connecting bathroom. An office, complete with computer and printer. Then the door at the end of the hall. “Dear God! It’s huge!” Karl swore, stopping just inside the door of the master suite.

Hearing Karl’s exclamation, Craig finally peeled himself off of the ottoman and made his way down the hallway. “Well - I figured you’d need a lot of room to maneuver the chair or use the canes. And I couldn’t picture you in one of those other rooms. They’re just...well - they’re not you. They’re small and compact and plain - everything you’re not.” Poking his tongue out just the smallest bit, he added, “I claimed the blue one.”

Walking past Karl, Craig pushed the door to the ensuite bathroom open. “Wait ‘til you get a load of this...” The tub was completely recessed in the marble-tiled bathroom. And it was no normal tub - it was ringed with jets, as well as equipped with a hand shower spray

Karl stopped just behind Craig and peered in. “I am stunned,” he murmured. “Never had anything like this before.” While he’d been making plenty of money to live fairly well off in New Zealand, he wouldn’t have thought to spend it on something like this.

“Well, you deserve it,” Craig replied with certainty. “Just because you haven’t had it so far, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. You deserve the best.”

Looking up at Craig, Karl offered him a small smile. He reached out and snagged the other man’s fingers in his own. “You’re too good to me,” he said quietly.

“Not good enough, in my opinion,” Craig blushed.

Shaking his head, Karl pulled Craig’s hand to his lips and kissed his fingers. “Fine. You can make it up to me later by helping me take a bath. A bath!” he said longingly. “But first...food! No more hospital food!”

“What are you in the mood for? Something hot and spicy? Mexican? Pizza? There’s a list of restaurants on the fridge.” Karl’s lips on his fingers made Craig’s knees weak. He brushed his thumb across the full lower cusp of Karl’s mouth. “What makes this mouth water?”

Karl swallowed, looking up at Craig and knowing full well he was being teased. As he glanced up at blue eyes, he realized Craig was flirting with him, too. Karl relaxed a bit. “Mexican would be great. It’s the best around here - made by the natives.”

“Mmm - sounds good,” Craig purred, facing Karl and leaning over to brace his hands on the arms of Karl’s chair. He pushed him backwards, letting his face hang dangerously close to Karl’s. “Nothing like a little spice to - well - spice things up.” His seductive demeanor was cracked by the giggle that erupted from him at the lame comment.

Karl snickered and leaned to kiss Craig lightly. “Goofball,” he murmured, sliding his fingers into Craig’s hair and mussing it.

“Ah - but you love me despite my eccentricities,” Craig kidded, whirling Karl around and pushing him at a high rate of speed as they made their way back to the kitchen, Karl chortling the whole way. Craig stopped Karl just short of the island, grabbing the takeout menu off the refrigerator and passing it to Karl along with a pen and paper. “C’mon - get anything you want. It’s on me.”

Biting his lips, Karl took the menu and started looking over it. “Christ. It all looks great.” He started writing, absorbed in the menu, cheeks a little flushed from the excitement of rushing down the hall.

Craig pulled a couple of sodas out of the refrigerator, popping the tops before setting one on the counter in front of Karl. He needed to check with the doctors about Karl’s meds and the possibility of drinking. He could only imagine that a nice cold beer would be heaven after months in a hospital.

After scratching out a few choices, Karl finally settled on what he wanted and slid the papers and pencil back onto the bar. “Would you bring in my bags, please? I want to check out my room,” he said with another happy smile. Karl was so damn glad to be out of that hospital and into this gorgeous house. He looked up at the broad skylights that let in even more sun that were thick enough to ward off the worst of the heat.

Grinning at Karl’s apparent joy, Craig ordered the food before heading out to the garage. Before too long, he had the bags opened on Karl’s huge bed, standing in the hallway and watching indulgently as Karl rolled himself down the hallway.

“So what’s up the stairs? More bedrooms?” Karl asked as he locked the chair’s wheels and carefully stood, moving to sit on the bed next to his suitcase.

“There’s a loft bedroom suite that opens onto the main room. I think that there’s a den with a few exercise implements as well,” Craig answered, watching Karl with careful eyes, ready to step in at the first sign that he needed help. Karl just hummed in acknowledgement and lifted some clothes out of the case. He was in a really good mood for the first time in a long time, despite how tired he felt.

Craig was thankful that he’d ordered low furniture for this room as he pulled the drawers open for Karl, helping the other man to unpack his stuff. “You want the bath before food? Or you wanna eat first?”

“I’m starved. First time for something other than mashed potatoes, soup and pudding,” Karl said wryly. “The bath can wait.”

As if on cue, the doorbell rang just then. “I’ll go get the food while you finish. I’ll unpack everything at the table.” Craig left Karl behind in the suite, heading to the front door and tipping the delivery guy generously. He hummed as he plated out the various foods, his own mouth watering at the spicy scents that assaulted his nose. “It’s ready!” He called, popping another soda for each of them. Eying the table critically, Craig moved all of the chairs but one, carrying them out to the garage. This way, Karl could eat anywhere he wished.

Karl was annoyed to have to get back into the chair, but his back and other muscles were so weak that it was still questionable for him to get around in the bathroom without it, much less down the hall. And he knew he was too tired for the canes. Sighing, he reminded himself of the state he’d been in just a few weeks ago, and instead said a quick prayer of thanks as he rolled down the hall. “Thank God for hardwood floors,” he said as he stopped at the table, noticing all the chairs but one were gone.

Craig stepped behind Karl, pushing him close to the table and locking the chair as he leaned down and dropped a kiss to the crown of dark strands atop Karl’s head. Leaning a bit lower, he pressed another kiss just beneath Karl’s ear. “Eat up,” he breathed, moving to sit in the chair and eat his own dinner.

Smiling, Karl pulled his plate to him, eating a decent amount before tiring and sitting back, rubbing his belly. “God, that was good,” he sighed. “I missed real food.”

“I bet you missed a real bed, too, didn’t you?” Craig grinned. “I bet you just can’t wait to stretch out in that big king size and just relax...” Karl glanced up with sparkling eyes and a mischievous smile and wagged his eyebrows. Craig’s eyes were bright as he interrogated the other man further. “Or did you have bigger plans for that bed?”

Cheeks flushing a little, Karl pressed his lips together hard as he struggled not to laugh as his eyes danced merrily. His hands gripped the edge of the table, as if he wanted to do something else with them. Noticing the tight grip, Craig decided to push his teasing one step further. “Can’t keep your hands off me?”

Karl’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t make me come over...” he paused and looked down at the chair. “Don’t make me roll over there,” he threatened, wagging a finger, lips twitching.

A wide grin split Craig’s lips, and the thought crossed his mind that if he wasn’t sure that it wouldn’t be beneficial to Karl’s continued improvement, he’d save the other man a trip by crawling into his lap. Instead, his lips quirked again. “And what would you do if you did?”

Raising an eyebrow to acknowledge the dare, Karl flipped the wheel locks, pushed himself back from the table and rolled around to stop next to Craig. “Stand up, please,” he requested with a grin.

Questioning Karl’s motives, but trusting the other man beyond any measure, Craig stood. Of course, his hands were firmly planted on his hips. “Now what?”

Resetting the wheel locks securely, Karl smiled up at him innocently...until his hand snaked up without warning and yanked on Craig’s elbow to get him to sit down...on Karl’s lap. Craig’s eyes widened as Karl seemed to read his mind, pulling him down onto his lap with a muffled ‘ooof’. Resting one arm around Karl’s shoulder, Craig decided to keep it light, in case he was misjudging the situation. “Gonna take me for a ride, huh?”

Karl bit his lower lip as a few different responses sprang to mind, but he was too scared of breaking their patched-up friendship to joke too much. Instead he just smiled, unlatched the wheels and gave them a good push so they rolled out of the kitchen.

Arms tightening around Karl’s neck, Craig nearly squealed after the second time Karl nearly ran them into a wall before feinting quickly through a doorway. He buried his face against the fragrant skin of the other man’s neck, closing his eyes. “You’re going to give me a heart attack!”

Pushing them out of the hallway, sending them rolling into the wide open living room, Karl laughed aloud. “Sorry, hospital quotient met for this decade,” he said, enjoying the weight against him.

“Then you have to give me mouth-to-mouth!” Craig laughed, lifting his face to meet Karl’s gaze as he realized what he’d actually said.

Karl let the chair roll to a stop in front of the wide wall of windows, lips twitching. “Wouldn’t be a hardship,” he answered with a smile, closing his arms around Craig.

Craig’s face was close to Karl’s. Close enough that he could see the hazel flecks in the wide green eyes that studied him. He considered making a stupid joke about hard stuff, but decided his lips were better suited to tasting the delicate skin at the corner of Karl’s mouth. His eyes fluttering shut, Karl let out a slow breath as he felt Craig’s light kiss. It was gentle and perfect, and he tightened his arms around him, moving his chin to try to get Craig’s lips fully on his.

Craig’s mouth centered on Karl’s, his tongue darting out to taste the plump cusps. He moved slowly, arms linked loosely behind Karl’s neck as he supped over and over from the sweet mouth beneath his.

Karl sighed into Craig’s mouth, the soft kisses slowly arousing him. He moaned the other man’s name and slid a hand to catch his thigh, pulling him against his chest. Half turning in Karl’s lap, Craig pressed closer, the kiss deepening as his tongue pressed inside to tangle with Karl’s. After several moments, he pulled away. “Is this too much?” He asked in a hoarse whisper.

Dragging open his eyes, Karl looked at him, dazed. “Not enough,” he said hoarsely. “But...I don’t want to mess us up,” he said, hands tightening like he can’t bear the idea of letting Craig go.

Wondering if they’d been through enough to hold them together, Craig decided to risk it. His hands made quick work of the buttons on Karl’s shirt, spreading the fabric apart so his lips could wander below the neckline. He nuzzled through a faint growth of hair, pressing kisses to the paler skin he found. “Oh God,” Karl mewled, hands clutching at Craig’s shoulders. “Please don’t stop,” he begged, letting his head fall back.

Craig didn’t stop, pushing the fabric farther aside with his nose as his lips found a nipple. Sliding his tongue around the dark nub, Craig teased it with his teeth, waiting until it pebbled before sucking it inside his mouth and drawing firmly upon it. Karl gasped quietly, his fingers tightening into Craig’s shirt, which he started pulling on. “Off...” he breathed. “Off off off.”

Stopping just long enough to tug his shirt over his head and toss it onto the sofa, Craig returned to his task, delighting in the sounds that fell from Karl’s lips. His fingers worked at the fastenings of the younger Kiwi’s jeans, thumb pushing inside to press against the warm skin just below Karl’s navel.

Now gasping, Karl sat under Craig, unable to move, unwilling to move. “I’ve wanted you to touch me, oh God I’ve wanted it,” he forced out.

Making a snap decision that he hoped they wouldn’t both regret later, Craig slid from Karl’s lap and pushed the other man rapidly toward the bedroom. He helped Karl to the bed before standing in front of him and slipping out of the rest of his clothes. Craig tried not to be self-conscious. After all, this was Karl. But it was Karl! The man he’d wanted for too long.

Breath shuddering out of him, Karl sat on the edge of the bed and watched, aching. He looked Craig over from head to toe and raised luminous eyes to bright blue ones. “C’mere,” he said hoarsely. “I want to touch you.”

Craig stepped closer, his body and soul bare before Karl. “Please do,” he invited in a husky whisper. “I want you to so badly...”

Reaching up, Karl settled his palms at Craig’s collarbone and drew them down slowly, tracing every line of muscle with sensitive fingertips over chest, belly, groin and thigh. Overcome and shaking, he wrapped his arms around Craig’s waist and pressed his cheek to Craig’s belly, hugging him close.

Settling his fingers in dark, silky hair, Craig simply held Karl in return. He realized that this was a new experience for the other man, but he tried his best to soothe him, making him feel desired and wanted above all. “I want to touch you too, Karl. I want to taste you and know every bit of you before we’re done,” he murmured. In his heart, he wasn’t sure they’d ever really be done.

“There were times I thought I’d never have the chance to be in your arms,” Karl said weakly, his face pressed into Craig’s side.

Craig’s heart thundered at the words, and he lowered himself in Karl’s arms, kneeling on the floor between his legs. “Oh God, Karl. You could’ve had me anytime.” He pressed a kiss to those quivering lips before adding again, for good measure, “Anytime.”

“Please hold me,” Karl whispered, pulling on Craig’s arms to get him to stand. “Please. I want it more than anything else right now. I need it.” His voice cracked, and his bottom lip trembled.

“Of course,” Craig soothed, reaching across to flick off the light as he pulled the covers back and climbed into the huge bed behind Karl. He spooned against the other man, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and pressing soft kisses to the broad shoulders in front of him.

Carefully lowering himself to his side, Karl curled up and slid his hands over Craig’s, squeezing to get even more of a hug. “Don’t let go,” he whispered.

“Never,” Craig promised, his tone full of honesty and intention. He pressed his cheek against Karl’s shoulder blade, humming happily at holding the other man like this.

Karl sighed, letting his eyes close and relaxing. He slid his fingers through Craig’s, feeling more comforted than he had in a long while. He didn’t realize it when he dropped off to sleep, his body taking over and demanding rest. Trying his best to calm his body down, it was a long while before Craig followed Karl into the land of dreams.

==

When he woke up the next morning, Karl was disoriented. He was still dressed, but comfortably under the covers, shoes off. It took him a bit to remember where he was - not at the hospital, but at the new house. He blinked several times and carefully shifted to push himself up to sit. He shivered, cool when out from under the blankets. He looked to the side. Craig wasn’t there. Karl frowned a little, but decided he couldn’t blame him. Probably uncomfortable being close to Karl, who slept very still nowadays. He moved slowly moved his legs over to sit on the side of the bed, getting his bearings before pushing up to stand and go to the bathroom.

Returning to the room with a tray full of bacon, eggs, toast and juice, Craig was surprised to find Karl missing from the bed. Worrying for a moment, he sat the tray down, preparing to search for the other man before hearing the water running in the bathroom. Kicking his slippers off, he climbed back onto the bed, situating the tray in the middle of the bed as he waited for Karl to return.

Stretching carefully, Karl winced at the pain and stiffness that he was unfortunately used to. The doctors couldn’t tell him if it would go away or not. He chuckled and thought that he should give Orlando a call. He would be able to tell Karl what to expect. Yawning, he turned off the water, wiped his face with the wet cloth, then hung it up before he opened the door and walked out to see Craig. “Hey,” he greeted with a smile.

“Hey,” Craig returned, a lazy, appreciative smile spreading across his lips as he waited for Karl to join him. His eyes took in the slimmer than common form of the other man. He was no less beautiful, though. “Good morning, gorgeous.”

Karl’s eyes lit up and he smiled as he saw Craig and the breakfast tray. Suddenly the aches and pain weren’t near so bad. “Morning,” he said, walking stiffly back to the bed. “Handsome,” he added with a wink.

“Flirt,” Craig teased as he patted the bed. “Get in this bed right now so you can ravish....the tray.” He extended his tongue a small bit, teasing unrelentingly.

Chuckling, Karl sat down carefully and lifted his legs back onto the bed, leaning against the headboard. “You’re too good to me,” he said honestly as Craig lifted the tray and set it over his legs. “Is that Nutella?”

“It is,” Craig nodded, spreading some onto a piece of toast and passing it to Karl. “Just to make you feel more at home. They’ve got it in the stores here.”

“You’re an angel, luv,” Karl crooned, biting into the toast with a moan of pure pleasure.

“An angel wouldn’t have these impure thoughts when you moan like that,” Craig squirmed a bit.

Karl glanced over and deliberately licked the smeared Nutella off his lips, then dragged a finger across the toast and slid it between his lips to lick clean. His eyes danced the whole time. When Karl’s finger returned for a second swipe of Nutella, Craig intercepted it before it could go back to his mouth. Grasping the thin wrist delicately in his fist, Craig pulled the long finger into his mouth, closing his eyes as he sucked it off.

His eyes flaring, Karl swallowed hard as he remembered the day before, how he’d wanted Craig so badly, and then had broken down instead. He watched Craig’s enjoyment avidly, hopeful that his good mood this morning meant he wasn’t put out about last night. “Craig?” he asked quietly, not even trying to pull his hand away. In fact, he turned his wrist so he could stroke Craig’s cheek.

“Hmmm?” Craig hummed, turning into the gentle caress the other man lavished upon him.

Karl swallowed, still tasting the creamy spread on his tongue. “I’m sorry about last night,” he said, voice thin and feathery. The nerves gnawing at his belly made him feel weak and light-headed. It was times like this he could tell how much of a shadow of his former self he had become.

Turning just enough to press a kiss to the palm of Karl’s hand, Craig asked, “Whatever for? You were exhausted. Yesterday was a big day.”

“For...getting you riled up and not following through,” Karl said frankly, smiling wryly. “Didn’t mean to tease.”

Craig rolled his eyes before sitting back against the headboard and tugging Karl gently into his arms. “You’ve been teasing me for years, Urban. One more night isn’t going to bust my bollocks.”

Karl leaned back carefully, melting into Craig’s arms, wishing he never had to move. “I don’t deserve you,” he said for what must have been the millionth time. He still meant it, though.

“You deserve better,” Craig whispered with a grin, nuzzling Karl’s ear. “Sure you don’t want me to call Beanie?”

Snorting, Karl started to laugh, and he buried his face in Craig’s shoulder. “Can’t you hear him?” he mumbled before turning his face to speak clearly, mocking Sean’s accent. “Wot’s that, lad? Getcher arse up and getcher own bier.”

“I do hereby solemnly promise to fetch all of your beer,” Craig murmured, “if it will but make you fall in love with me.” Pressing a wet kiss to the side of Karl’s neck, he let his tongue slip down until it teased at the collar of the other man’s T-shirt.

Karl practically giggled and pulled away from the teasing. “Tickles...tickles!” he muttered, but his heart pounded from Craig’s words. Truth was, he knew, he was already falling. It scared him, but he knew he couldn’t let go. Not now. He grabbed Craig’s hand and held it close to his heart, just breathing. What should he say? “Big commitment you’re making there, to a man who’s mostly a crip, now,” he tried to joke.

Craig’s fingers spread above Karl’s chest, feeling the other man’s breath and life pulsing beneath his hand. “I make the commitment knowingly - and you’re not a crip. You’re still Karl...the man I adore.”

Feeling his heart pound, Karl knew in that instant. He knew that his longtime abiding love for a good friend was still there, but it had changed. It had gentled, it had grown, it had flared and heated and sparked. He hid his face in Craig’s shoulder again. He loved Craig. Really, honesty loved him. “I...don’t want you to think I love you because you’re the only one I’ve got,” he said, voice aching.

“Hey,” Craig tsked, nudging Karl’s chin until he could see those green eyes. “Any reason you love me is reason enough for me. I don’t care why you love me - just that you do.” Karl hugged him close and nodded, feeling better than he had in a long, long time.

==

Craig stood leaning against the door frame to the bathroom as he watched Karl pick at his hair. “How is it that you spend this much time in front of the mirror and have that artful ‘I don’t care how I look’ look?” He reached across, tugging gently at the strand of hair that just wouldn’t lay flat, no matter what Karl did to it.

He couldn’t blame Karl for being nervous and wanting things to be perfect. Today was the day the doctors would possibly clear him for travel back to New Zealand.

If Craig could get Karl from in front of the mirror long enough to drive him to the doctor’s office. It was proving to be a bigger task than Craig felt up to. “I promise - you look fucking gorgeous!”

Karl turned and looked at Craig pleadingly. “The better I look the better chance they’ll think I’m good enough to go,” he said. He turned back to the mirror and frowned. He was still so skinny. No real muscles left, although his arms weren’t too bad from pushing around the wheelchair all the time.

“Any doctor in their right mind would clear you for travel. The only reason I would see them keeping you is so they could look at you longer.” Craig reached over and tousled Karl’s hair. “In which case, messy is better.”

Karl whined but let Craig drag his chair out of the bathroom. “Where are my canes? I should walk today. They’ll think I’m doing better if I’m walking,” Karl said, his voice still nervous. He didn’t like the canes, one on each arm with plastic cups that covered his wrists, but they worked. He could get around on them, if clumsily. It wasn’t that his legs didn’t work. It was more that it was just really hard for his back to hold him totally upright for more than a few minutes.

“They’re in the car,” Craig promised. “You’d better save your strength so you can wow the judges,” he teased gently. “Now, calm down - this will be okay - you’ll be okay...”

Nearly shaking with nerves and excess energy, Karl bounced a knee as Craig got him through the house, out into the garage and into the car. “I’m excited, Craig.”

Rolling the chair to a stop near the car, Craig applied the brake before kneeling in front of Karl. Framing the younger man’s face with his hands, Craig made him meet his gaze, hoping that the calm would be contagious. “I’m excited, too, we’ll be going home...you’ll get to see Hunter.” He pushed up from the floor, dropping a kiss on Karl’s lips. “It will be okay.” He repeated again and again.

Nodding, Karl let Craig help him into the car - he was getting better at it himself - and he buckled his seatbelt with a minimum amount of twinge from the stretch. “I’m ready.”

Once inside the car himself, Craig reached over and squeezed Karl’s thigh. “When we get home tonight - I’m going to ravage you. I’m going to take full advantage of the doctor’s clearance.” He sent Karl a wicked grin before starting the car and backing out of the garage.

Karl grinned. They’d settled happily with kissing, groping and hand jobs for the last several weeks, just happy to be close. But the rasp in Craig’s voice made Karl want more. Much more. “I can’t wait,” he said fervently.

“It will be well worth the wait, luv,” Craig promised again, pulling out onto the quiet street they’d lived on for a while now. The day was brilliant and warm and sunny, and it made Craig happy just to be out and about with Karl.

The drive to the hospital only took a matter of minutes, but they caught the light just in front, so they’d have to wait to cross the three lanes of traffic. “You know, I’m won’t miss coming here every day,” Karl muttered.

“I can tell you exactly how many floor tiles cover the waiting area,” Craig concurred, “and I can say that I’ve had enough of this place to last a lifetime.” When the signal turned green, Craig paused for a moment before starting to pull across the roadway toward the parking area.

Glancing over to smile at Karl, what he saw stole his breath. A truck was barreling right at them. It was hurtling toward them, the grill growing ever larger even as Craig’s foot reached for the gas pedal to get them out of the way. It was too late - the effort too little - he hadn’t even touched the pedal with the toes of his shoes when the truck slammed into them with a sickening impact.

The look of horror on Craig’s face made Karl twist quickly, not even able to see what was happening before the truck hit them full speed, smashing in the passenger side - dragging a pained scream out of Karl as the metal crumpled in on him, pinning him in place, cutting into his shoulder and hip. The truck continued to push the car sideways, and Karl tried to reach for Craig with his free hand as the car tipped up and fell to the driver’s side, slamming Craig to the ground.

And the car continued to tumble until it stopped thirty yards away with a metallic wheeze.

==

Glass and bits of plastic and metal littered the roadway. The blue rental Craig had taken had left stripes of paint on the roadway. Beneath the upturned car, antifreeze, oil and other liquids pooled and dripped.

Perhaps the worst was the red liquid that seeped from beneath the cab of the car.

Being right in front of the hospital, two ambulances and a trauma team were on the scene in a mere minute; the police weren’t far behind. But what worried them most was the men in the car. Only one was answering their calls - nearly hysterical - saying he was smashed under the metal, but insisting the other man was loose and should be pulled out as soon as possible.

It was Karl doing the screaming.

The front end and sides were all smashed, the roof crunched down mostly blocking the broken front window. The passenger side was completely closed in by twisted metal. But the driver’s side was mostly clear.

“Craig...Craig...” Karl called through tears of agony and upset. The metal had him rammed back against his seat, which had broken, pushing him practically flat, the side and roof cutting into him painfully. So pinned he couldn’t reach out except from his elbow, his long fingers bloody and twitching as he tried to touch Craig. He could just barely brush the other man’s elbow, and it upset him even more. He could see Craig’s bloodied face, more coating the side of his face and back of his head. He wasn’t answering. “Craig,” he cried weakly. “Oh God, please. Craig!”

Then a small woman wormed into the window and cut Craig’s seatbelt. She looked over at Karl, and he knew it was bad when her face blanched.

“Craig -” he gasped quietly, feeling his strength seep away with all the blood. “Please. Take care of him,” he croaked.

The woman nodded, starting to pull on the door from the inside, hoping to break it free. “The jaws of life are coming. We’re going to get you out of there,” she said shakily, pausing a moment to curl her hand around his and squeeze.

“Just get him out,” Karl said, tears streaming down his face. His hand fell free before he choked and closed his eyes, unable to watch. He heard the driver’s door break open and the EMTs talking as they pulled Craig out. The last thing he remembered was praying Craig was okay.

==

A team of paramedics worked steadily around a stretcher as the sound of a saw and shrieking metal split the air. Craig was strapped onto a bright orange body board, his neck supported by a brace as the EMTs worked to stabilize his head and neck – all the vitals were is fairly decent shape. The crowd around the scene remained mostly silent, every now and again a murmured, “Oh God,” slipped past someone’s lips.

The driver of the truck was freed, pronounced dead at the scene. From all indications, he had probably suffered a heart attack while driving, because his body was basically untouched despite the force of the accident. An autopsy would reveal the truth of the matter.

At the moment, all attention was focused on freeing the trapped man. His body was so firmly cocooned in the twisted metal, some piercing his skin harshly, that it took over an hour to free him without tearing him apart. He was a mess when they lay him gently on the body board and raced him into the hospital. He was alive.

==

Karl opened his eyes in a rush with a huge gasp for air, coming awake in a shock. Hands were immediately on his chest, pushing him back down on the bed. “Mr. Urban. Mr. Urban...Karl!” He finally turned his head, eyes wild, to see Nurse Walker. “Je...Sally?”

“You have to be still, Karl...the doctors are working on suturing your hip...calm down a bit,” Sally murmured in a soothing voice, squeezing Karl’s hand as his head moved back and forth rapidly. “You’ve got to calm down,” she whispered, running a hand through his hair.

“Where’s Craig?” he asked frantically. “Sally, where’s Craig? He didn’t answer me...I couldn’t touch him...” he said, voice clogged with drugged pain and terrible upset.

“He’s in the next room,” Sally answered truthfully, omitting the fact that he was unconscious and hooked to several monitors and machines. “The doctor’s won’t allow him in here right now,” she explained, still trying to soothe Karl.

“Is he okay? You’ve got to tell me, Sally. Me being here - no big deal. But he shouldn’t be,” Karl said weakly as the doctor gave him a shot of sedative. “He’s got to be okay,” he said in a childlike voice.

Avoiding answering the question, Sally checked Karl’s pulse, waiting for the sedative to work. Karl fought against it, still obviously upset, but he finally succumbed, still fighting the drug even when asleep.

Sally frowned as Karl rested fitfully. She glanced through the windows between the rooms, seeing another group of medical professionals standing above Craig’s body. Her frown deepened. It shouldn’t end like this. Not with Craig unconscious and hurt when he’d been so strong for Karl. She only hoped that they would be able to be together.

Karl fought off the drugs after only four hours, waking frantic again, so upset that they had to give him something stronger to keep him in the bed. He was badly injured and basically just sewn back together - he’d suffered large wounds all up and down his right thigh and torso, he had several broken ribs, including one that might be pressing against his lung, and his right arm was broken from the car crushing him.

Part of the problem was Karl’s concussion. He’d taken a nasty rap to the head. Normally the doctors wouldn’t put him under, but his agitated state - fixated on Craig - wasn’t helping anyone. Until he was over that, things wouldn’t improve. The surgeon who had to work on Karl - for the fifth time - said tiredly that he wasn’t sure how much more his body could take. It was a lot of trauma for one person in so short a time.

In the next room, Craig looked calm and peaceful where he laid against the stark white of the hospital sheets. His appearance was deceiving. Just beneath his hairline, there was a small cut from where his head had struck the frame of the car at impact. It had been stitched - only 8 sutures required - but the damage wasn’t immediately evident. The trauma had concussed him to the point that his brain had swollen, keeping him unconscious. Nothing more could be done for him. It was only a matter of time and the question of whether his body would heal itself.

Days passed, and Karl only grew more and more upset, forcing the doctors to order him under heavy sedation to keep him from ripping out any more stitches, shifting his broken ribs or bruising himself trying to get our of the restraints and out of bed.

And so the two men both rested - one silently, one fitfully - letting time crawl forward, blind.

==

Well over a week had passed, and Sally found herself once more in Karl’s room, but this time, she was assisting the doctor with removing some of Karl’s more minor sutures. The deep wounds down his thigh and bisecting his chest would take much longer to heal. When the last stitch to go today was plucked from the pale skin, she asked, “May I wake him now?” With the doctor’s nodded permission, she inclined the head of the bed, waving smelling salts beneath his nose. “Wake up, handsome,” she urged, running a knuckle over his stubbled chin.

The sharp, pungent smell shocked Karl out of sleep, and he sucked in a shocked breath before coughing a few times, eyes watering. “Wh’ ta’ fu’,” he muttered though a dry mouth.

Sally smiled as she reached for the styrofoam cup of water, placing the bendy straw at Karl’s mouth. “You’re finally awake, Mr. Urban...and in no danger of damaging yourself, fortunately.”

Karl sipped at the water, sighing in relief as the cool liquid washed out his mouth and eased his throat. “Thanks,” he murmured. “What’s going on?” he asked blearily, clearly confused.

Wondering exactly what Karl remembered and how much she should tell him, she finally answered, “You were in an accident just over two weeks ago, Mr. Urban. You’re pretty banged up - you have a broken arm, three broken ribs, two gouges, a concussion… it took a lot of work to put you back together, sweetie. Amazingly enough, your back was totally fine. But we had to keep you sedated, because you would wake up, traumatized, and you kept popping the sutures. The doctor took the smaller ones out today and gave me permission to wake you.”

Blinking several times, Karl took stock of himself. He hurt again, that dull ache he was well used to that meant he was drugged against the pain - only now he hurt all over. “Holding me together?” he asked, looking down at himself to see jagged red ridges of barely healed skin disappearing under the neckline of his gown. He squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered. “Anything missing?” he forced himself to ask as he remembered the impact.

“Nothing missing, Mr. Urban. As soon as you’re able to move fairly well, we’ll release you to return home.” Sally smiled.

“Home,” Karl echoed. Then the haze cleared somewhat, and he looked around. “Where’s Craig?”

Sally’s expression softened as she moved aside, indicating the second bed in the private room. Karl slowly pushed himself to his elbow, half sitting up and looking over to the other bed. He thought his heart might pound out of his chest as he saw Craig there, laying so quietly, as if asleep, hooked up to so many machines. He choked on a breath as the scene and pain in the car flashed before him, and he miserably mewled his Craig’s name. “Oh God...Sally,” he whispered. “What...” He couldn’t force out anymore words.

“It’s just a matter of time,” the nurse tried to soothe Karl. “His brain needed some time to heal after the accident. He should wake any day now...” Her heart ached for the battered man.

The tears ran silently down Karl’s face as he stared at Craig in horror. Anything - anything could happen to himself, destroy his back, lose a limb, tear his head off, he didn’t care - but not Craig. He slowly sank back against the pillow, stifling pained crying against the pillow.

Sally merely offered a tissue, a supportive hand resting against Karl’s shoulder. “He’ll be okay. There’s nothing to make us think otherwise. It’s simply a matter of giving him the time he needs.”

Hurting more than he could handle, Karl took the tissue and buried his face in the pillow, wishing he’d never woken up. Even that was better than this...with Craig so far out of reach.

Another week passed, and Karl’s body healed against his will while he laid listlessly six feet away from Craig. Most times when doctors or nurses came in to check on them, Karl lay on his side watching him, not speaking, not interacting with anyone. Then the day came when the doctors pronounced Karl well enough to go home. And Karl thought he might shatter.

But he didn’t.

The driver he’d hired took him back to the house, which was empty and silent, so much so that he couldn’t sleep. Within a few hours, he couldn’t take it, so he packed a bag and went right back to the hospital, this time to sit at Craig’s bedside, just like Craig had done for him.

Karl was there, every day, all day, sometimes sleeping in the bed nearby, but often just sitting next to Craig’s bedside, arms folded on the mattress at Craig’s hip, his head pillowed on his cast. Karl was there every night when Nurse Walker came on shift in the evenings, and weeks passed unmarked except by the hollows under Karl’s eyes and the weight he could ill afford to lose.

“We love you, too, Mr. Urban, but we’d prefer not to see you here quite so often,” Sally teased gently one evening, bringing Karl a cup of coffee from the machine at the nurses’ desk.

Leaving him to brood and sip at the burnt-tasting liquid, she went to check Craig’s vitals, humming in approval as the monitors showed more activity than they had before. As she leaned over Craig to fluff his pillow, she accidentally brushed against him. Looking down to make sure she hadn’t dislodged any monitors, she was nearly shocked out of her skin to see blue eyes looking back at her, a sense of awareness slowly washing back into them.

Biting her lip, she asked, “Karl? Could you bring me that stethoscope, please?” She wanted the other man to see this for himself.

Karl didn’t move for a long moment, but then he grunted in assent and set aside the coffee. He pushed himself out of the chair, slid his arms into the two canes and walked over to the table by the door. He slung the item around his neck and walked back to the nurse, stopping at Craig’s bedside to offer it to her - and he froze, holding it out over Craig’s chest.

“Craig?” he whispered, voice tight.

“Karl...” Craig replied, voice raspy and thready as he spoke for the first time in weeks. His fingers twitched weakly, and he wished Karl would touch him.

“Oh God, Craig...” Karl gasped, overwrought, he dropped the stethoscope into Sally’s hand and lightly touched Craig’s face with that hand as he braced himself up with the other. “Jesus, you scared me to death,” he whispered, eyes filling as he broke down, overwhelmed.

Craig’s eyes filled with tears at seeing Karl so emotional. “Don’t cry, baby,” he soothed, lifting his hand slowly to card through Karl’s hair. Turning to gaze at Sally, he asked, “What’s wrong? Why is he crying?”

The nurse rubbed her hand on Karl’s back soothingly as he leaned his head against Craig’s chest, shoulders shaking as he cried in utter relief. “Craig, you’ve been in a coma for almost six weeks,” she said quietly. “He’s been worried about you.”

Still petting Karl, a small frown formed between Craig’s brows. “I’m okay? I’ve not been in danger, have I?”

Sally didn’t say anything, just keeping her eyes on Karl as his shoulders shook with silent grief. Then she sighed, doubting Karl was even listening at this point. “We didn’t know, Craig. We couldn’t tell him... but he knew. He never left your side,” she said quietly, withdrawing and leaving them alone, even closing the door to the private room.

“Karl,” Craig whispered, tugging gently at the other Kiwi’s head. “Look at me, please... I need to see you.” A note of desperation bled into his voice, making it crack as he tried to lift his head. “Please, baby...look at me...”

Tilting his head up to reveal hazel eyes awash in absolute heartrending misery, Karl wiped his wrist across his face. “I love you, Craig,” he said flat out, still trying to choke back the tears. “I love you.”

Craig’s eyes closed at the raw emotion and feeling that he not only heard in Karl’s voice, but saw reflected in his eyes. “God, Karl. That’s all I’ve wanted to hear for the longest time... It’s just - I want you so much... In every way... And I know that we’re both too broken and bruised to do anything about it, but when we get better, I’m claiming you as my own...” His voice was watery and completely nonthreatening, despite his words.

Forcing himself to his feet, Karl clung to the side rail as he bent over to kiss Craig gently, the press of his lips flavored with salt. “I’ve felt it...for a long time, I’ve felt it. I just didn’t know how to reconcile the hope that you might love me back and the fear that you would leave once I was healed up.” He kissed Craig again. “I’m not letting you go,” he vowed, covering Craig’s hand with one of his and curling their fingers together. “Just like you promised me, I promise you.”

“I won’t ever leave you,” Craig promised again, this time adding the words he’d wanted to say for forever. “I love you too much to just give up on us. We were meant to be together. It just took the gods knocking us upside the head to get it through to us.”

“And upside the arm, and the leg, and the back...” Karl huffed, wiping his eyes with the corner of the sheet before laying his head on Craig’s shoulder despite the strain on his back. “We’re gonna be okay,” he whispered.

Struggling with the bedrails until Karl could climb into bed beside him, feeling the other man in his arms did more to heal Craig’s broken spirit than anything the doctors could throw at him. “We’re more than okay,” Craig whispered into the soft hair near Karl’s ear. “We’re together. We’re whole.”

*****