Dark Judgement 17

Dark Judgement

Part 17 - Accusation of Compassion

Posted: July 18, 2008
Title: Dark Judgement
Author: Chaotic-Binky

*****

Nienna took me to the same room as before and bade me to sit on the chair.

“You need not worry about going back into the void, so long as you have learnt from the experience and wish to move forward,” she said.

I just sat there and said nothing. I did not know what I could say. My last innocuous remark had driven her into a fury and I did not dare open my mouth.

“Answer me,” she snapped.

“My Lady, I fear to answer you, in case I offend you,” I said. “I do not want to go back through the void because I have said the wrong thing.”

“Oh, how prettily we speak,” she taunted and I kept my mind blank, suddenly aware that maybe it was not what I said that had made her furious with me, but my thoughts. She could read my mind and so I had to be very careful. “You are blocking your thoughts,” Nienna accused.

“I do not want a stray, uncontained thought to send me back to the void, my Lady; I do not know what I said to make you send me there. If I had known I would not have said it.” I replied, and bit the corner of my thumbnail as a diversion, hoping that I had not said too much to the psychotic Vala.

“It wasn’t anything you thought or said,” she replied. “We decided to send you anyway, so that you did not forget you reason for being here.”

How I hate the Valar and their random cruelties, yet I can do nothing. I do not share Maglor’s view that they are compassionate and that everything is for the best. In my opinion, they are no better than Melkor or me. I said nothing and hoped the moment would pass.

“You are going to alter the memories of an elf, one you killed when he was a child. He was reborn mute, still shocked and has remained so.” Nienna said. “We could have cured him but it suits us to let you do it.”

The elf was brought in and his mouth opened in a silent scream of terror as he recognised me. Ah well, I still have it. The elves accompanying him, held onto his arms as he fought to escape and they guided him to the bed. Nienna ordered that they strap him onto the bed and all the time he struggled as though his life depended on it, which he probably thought it did. I found it most amusing but took care not to reveal my lightness of mood.

He looked at Nienna with confusion, wondering why someone who had previously seemed to be sympathetic, now wanted to subject him to an awful ordeal. Nienna ignored him and did not say a word.

“Sauron,” she said to me. “Proceed.”

The elf tried to look backwards at me; his eyes pleading with me to spare him. I touched my fingers to the sides of his head and told him to sleep. He fought my influence but in the end, he succumbed. Sorting through his thoughts and memories, I found the scene that I was looking for. He was the elfling who I killed in front of Maglor, causing him to fade. On the long journey from his village, he saw orcs rape and kill his nana.

“My Lady,” I said to Nienna. “I wonder how far to go with this. His nana was killed by orcs and if he ever meets his mother again here on Valinor, she will tell him so. I would need to see her as well or alter his memories in such a way that he ceases to experience pain from them.

“It might be better to concentrate on what happened when he was your prisoner,” she replied. “We have thought of this problem and as yet we have no answer to it. We learn as we proceed and that is all that we can do.”

“I think a light touch is better than going too far and getting it wrong,” I suggested.

“Do what you think is the best for him,” Nienna smiled.

I concentrated on his arrival to my stronghold in Barad-dûr. The dark gates became golden and entwined with flowers. Beyond, the dark tower became a palace of light. All meetings with me, I wiped completely from his mind. I then suggested to his mind that even though there had been an awful journey, that he had escaped it and reached a place of safety. He will remember that the death of his mother caused him to fade, which would explain his death, and that he was well looked after until he died. Nienna was very approving and commended me on my compassion. I wondered if she was being sarcastic but nothing in her voice or face suggested that she was.

It felt weird being the compassionate Dark Lord Sauron. The thought made me smile and Nienna, who can read my mind, laughed and told me that I was not the Dark Lord of anywhere, anymore. I allowed myself a smile and reflected that when I have treated the last elf, only then will I have lost that title because to every elf on Middle-earth I will always be who I once was. How little Nienna knows about actual reality.

There were no other memories that needed altering and so I woke the elf up. He looked confused and I smiled at him. He smiled back and so the treatment must have worked. “Why am I here?” he asked uncertainly, his voice croaking because he had not used it since his birth.

“You had lost your voice and now you have it back again,” I said. “That is why you were here.”

“Your voice will improve as you use it,” Nienna said, whilst playing with a bead on her bracelet. “Now, do you feel alright otherwise?”

“I feel fine,” he replied. “Although, I cannot remember planning to see a healer.”

Sauron the healer, how ironic!

“Splendid,” Nienna said and rose from her chair and opened the door. “If you go with Badhoron here,” she indicated to the elf just outside the door, “He will take you to your carriage.”

The elf waved goodbye to me, so I smiled and waved to him so that Nienna could see me playing the game and doing all I could to move forward.

“I am very pleased with you, Sauron,” Nienna said and whacked me playfully on the knee with her feathered fan. “You put little touches in that I did not think you capable of. The golden gate with the flowers was a lovely touch, as was the care of his needs whilst he was fading. See, you are capable of great beauty and kindness also.”

I looked at her in confusion and she explained that by giving him a memory so beautiful, I had shown compassion for his plight, even if I did not intend to. I did not answer. Privately I wondered why I had done this. Maybe this is a consideration to contemplate another time.

I went back to the room I shared with Maglor and Nienna accompanied me, talking excitedly about the new building they had created where I could treat all the elves with painful memories of my treatment of them. I have moved significantly forward today and it is a relief. I am one step closer to keeping Maglor forever and several steps further away from the void.

Who knows, I may even enjoy this new life.

*****

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