Dark Judgement 15

Dark Judgement

Part 15 - Knowing the Meaning of Absolute Terror

Posted: July 18, 2008
Title: Dark Judgement
Author: Chaotic-Binky

*****

I sort through Calaelen’s memories one by one, changing them to more pleasant experiences for him, as I do so.

My presence is replaced in his memories with his lover. The torture sessions turn into highly charged and exciting sex games that give him the most wonderful feelings of exhilaration. He has nothing in his memory left of me, or of his captivity. There is no fear, only the feeling of a life well led and truly enjoyed.

“It is fortunate that you are such a pervert,” Nienna says with no trace of humour. “Only you could think of turning experiences like that into sexual ones.”

“Do the Valar not have sex, my Lady?” I ask, as I search for more hidden memories.

The bitch nearly knocked me from the chair; how I wish many dreadful deaths for her. “You will be punished for your insolence,” she replied, with a cold anger. I was lifted up, her hand under my chin, and pulled upright. She touched the elf upon the forehead and he awoke. He had no idea who I was, or that he was in the presence of the one who had made his life such a painful experience.

“Are you all right Calaelen?” Nienna asked him most pleasantly, whilst keeping a grip on my arm with her steel like talons.

“Yes, my Lady,” he answered, looking a bit mystified as to why he was in the room with us.

“Jolly good,” Nienna beamed. “It was nice to have met you, however time does not wait even for a Vala and so we have to say goodbye.”

Calaelen left after a few more pleasantries. Nienna and I were alone in the room and I was unable to move except at her bidding.

“Lay on the bed, Sauron,” she said in a silky, almost seductive voice.

Every fibre of my being willed my body not to obey. I could not resist her control and so I did as she bid me. Lying on the bed, I felt her fingers touching the sides of my head, just above the ears. I fear the Valar as much as I do Melkor, because to me, they are capable of the same evil. Never, since leaving the void beyond the Door of Night, had I felt such terror.

“Guess where you are going?” her voice was soft behind me.

I did not intend giving her the satisfaction of knowing my fear, but she knew anyway. I looked at the ceiling, trying to school my reactions, when my mouth betrayed me. “Please...” One solitary, traitorous word that left me open and exposed, revealing my frailties to one who would make full use of them.

“Did you give your victims any consideration?” Nienna breathed in my ear.

“No,” I said, almost as if an imperceptible feather had escaped from my lips and wafted through the air unto her hearing. My increasing rapidity of breathing was commensurate with my fear; my heart bounding with an incredible swiftness because I knew of what she was capable. There would be no mercy for me. I felt her probing my mind and she beat down all my carefully constructed barriers. Resistance to her influence was futile and I knew, in clear and ringing terms, the folly of not respecting the full power of my enemy.

“I could wipe your memories but it amuses me not to. I want you to fear me, forever. Just like the elves still fear you now.” Her fingers pressed harder into my skin. “Ah! There it is.”

I remember screaming as my mind flew through the Door of Night. Lying on the bed, I could feel her fingers still, but I was also in the void, with tentacled creatures, all around reaching up to touch me. Melkor, stood n the middle of them, playing idly with his fiery whip, beautiful and terrible, laughing insanely.

“Shall we take up where we left off?” he asked and laughed even harder as a heavy chain swiftly caught up my arms, pulling me into a painfully impossible stretch as the tentacles pulled downwards on my feet. The vertical tug of war ended as one final heave of the chain pulled me free from the slimy appendages of the tentacled beings. My body jerked violently upwards so that for a fleeting moment I marvelled that my arms remained in the sockets. Looking down, I saw that I was suspended a few feet above the writhing mass, and yet they could still reach me. I knew that my death would be forthcoming and prayed to no one that it would be quick because there was nothing that could hear me; I was perfectly isolated without even the smallest glint of hope within my being.

Melkor encouraged the creatures to taunt me with their slimy tentacles, as I looked fearfully at them and cried out with each new insult. In my peripheral vision, I could see him giving his whip of fire an experimental crack before aiming it at me. My former master and lover stood in front of me, still laughing and sent the fiery streak crashing against my body. I used to have a great capacity for pain and I always found much pleasure in being disciplined, in my former existence as Melkor’s foremost acolyte, but not now. He removed that from me, when he first assaulted my being during that first meeting, after I passed through the Door of Night. All I feel is the sharp sting of raw pain and salty, dry, bitterness of absolute terror. My body writhed and twisted with every slicing tentacled caress, and every fiery whip crack against my skin. My body, taken over by the guttural instincts of the tortured dying, jerked involuntarily as I howled my dismay at the knowledge my ordeal would be forever.

Many times over, the burning curled in a spiral, around my body and I screamed until I was hoarse. Then a new sensation. The tentacles pulled my legs apart and two of them entered me from underneath. I have no words to describe neither the pain, nor the feeling of repellent, stomach churning horror, as they emerged from my mouth and then shot into my eye sockets.

They were tearing me apart! My cheeks split, and then my jaw snapped in half, as my neck tore into two obscene and bloody sides of flesh. The top of my head exploded outwards as the two tentacles reached for the ceiling. The warm fountain of my own blood gushed upwards and fell back down upon my shoulders, before dripping down to feed the monsters below. I hoped for death and knew that I was not considered worthy, whatever became my most heartfelt desire had little chance of being granted.

“Sauron,” Nienna’s voice called to me. I was back in the room and could not stop my raw, animalistic screams. It was some time before I calmed down. My face was wet with tears and I felt a cold wet cloth being wiped over my cheeks and forehead as I whimpered my distress. She stroked my forehead. “Sauron, it is over.” As soon as she released the bonds holding my body to the bed, I reached up with my hands to feel my head. Nothing was amiss and yet I knew the experience had happened. I would be a fool to question whether it had been real.

The room changed and I found myself in bed, with Maglor by the side of me; Nienna stood beside him, looking on.

“Will he be all right?” Maglor asked anxiously, as he wiped my face with the bed sheet. I quickly held onto him, my arms around his waist and breathed in his gentle kindness. He is my safety and my refuge; how I love him for freely giving me that, which I never knew that I would need.

I do not deserve one so lovely. He has never hurt me and yet I was merciless towards him. My tears fell afresh, because in my heart, I knew that I was not worthy of his kindness. “I am sorry, Maglor,” I said and felt his warmth as he pulled me up into his arms and held my head to his chest.

“Shush, meleth,” he said softly, as he stroked my head. “I will look after you. Every thing will be all right.”

“He will be fine, sweet one,” Nienna said. “He now knows the penalty for disobedience.”

“When you hurt Sauron, you hurt me also,” Maglor said to her and held me a fraction tighter.

Please Maglor. Say nothing to her. I do not want her to punish you too. I held onto him harder, in a feeble attempt to save him from her, even though I was painfully aware of just how weak I was.

“That is because you love him with all your heart,” she replied, and passed her hand over the back of my head so that soft waves of calm passed through my being and caused me to relax within my lover’s arms. “Be encouraged, sweet Maglor because he loves you too. If he learns from this, then all will end happily.”

My breathing evened out as the danger passed. I am with Maglor, who holds the key to my fëa and keeps me from my own excess. If I am to be saved, then surely it will be because of him.

I must give up on evil and keep the one I love as my focus; I see that now. It will be hard, but all I have to do is remember drowning in his warmth and feeling his hand stroking me, as his voice soothes my very being. It feels new and I have difficulty adjusting to this feeling of weakness, this reversal of roles as Maglor tells me that he will take care of my needs and help me recover.

He will save me from myself, and for him to be happy, the dismissal of all that came before will be worth it.

I love him and so I owe him that much, at least.

*****

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