More Than I Can Stand

More Than I Can Stand

Posted: September 2004
Title: More Than I Can Stand
Author: Bwitched83uk
Type: RPS
Characters: Orlando/Viggo
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This story is complete lies. This never happened. I do not know these men, nor claim to. This is a work of complete fiction for your enjoyment, I make no money from it.
Beta: Kitty. Thank you so much.
Author's Notes: The poem at the bottom is mine, I wrote it, please don't laugh. I got some inspiration to write this fic from Tango De Roxanne from Moulin Rouge.

Summary: Can you really love someone too much to be with them or is it just a cowardly excuse?

*****

From early on in their relationship Viggo and Orlando had recognised their attraction to each other, and very early on they had confessed it to each other. The want, the need, the desire between them hung thickly, almost choking them. Yet Viggo resisted. He knew what would eventually happen. He knew he would succumb to the tight body that begged to be fucked. And when he did, when he finally gave in to the niggling, raw lust, he would be lost. He would lose himself inside that body and he would never find a way back out. Viggo only knew one way to love. Completely. When he loved a person it burned him inside. A desperate need to be with them constantly. An ache that could never be soothed. A feeling of never being able to get close enough, wanting to climb in to the other persons skin to make them one.

He knew that when he gave in and gave the boy what he wanted, he would stop being the passive, gentle poet and transform in to the passionate, jealous, man he had become so few times before. He would need Orlando, need him like he needed to breathe. He would become so dependent on the other man that he would slowly stifle the free spirit inside him. Slowly, so slowly, he would kill Orlando. His love was too strong and intense for the young innocent man to survive it for too long.

Then darkness fell. The boy had shown up on his doorstep. Thinking himself cute and adorable. Who could say no to Orlando Bloom? He thought he was the seducer. He had come to wear Viggo down. The boy had never stood a chance. He didn't know what he was getting himself in to. Viggo had taken him hard and fast, making the boy cry out, moan, and beg for more.

'But that's just it isn't it? You beg for more, but it will never be enough. You will always need more, more. Until I have no more to give.'

To protect Orlando, and himself, Viggo had suggested they keep it casual. But to both of them it felt anything but. When they were apart they would fuck others, they would both pretend that was what they wanted. Orlando was young, in love. He would have agreed to anything that Viggo said. Viggo was a God to him, so if he wanted it this way then it must be right.

Viggo hated himself and a part of him hated the boy. There were times when he couldn't bare it. The intensity, the passion, the fear, the anger.

The smell of Orlando, the taste of him, the sound of his breathy moans haunted him nightly. As he lay alone, wondering where the young man was, whom he was with, what he was doing. His body would shake and his heart would pound as he curled his fists around the bed sheets. Viggo knew what would happen. Any day now the boy would come to him and tell him that he had met someone else, or that he was sick of the way things were between the two of them. He would leave Viggo with nothing but his broken heart and a hunger that could not be quelled.

The night had begun like all the others they spent together. Viggo had walked in with Orlando on his arm, feeling such pride at having the beautiful man beside him, as his and no other's. He would sit with the older group and watch as Orlando moved around the room, talking, laughing. He would turn to smile at Viggo, a promise of what was to come.

Desire. The first destructive emotion of the night, the one it always began with.

Viggo wanted him, he needed him. It was too much and yet never enough.

Passion. His body would begin to react. Throb, ache with the passion he felt for Orlando.

Suspicion. Orlando had found a man, he seemed to be an old friend, or perhaps he was nothing to Orlando, perhaps they had just met. Perhaps Orlando wasn't flirting with him, perhaps it was all in Viggo's head again, as it had been so many times before. Orlando rested his hand on the other man's arm, laughing at an in joke. Their eyes seemed to lock, a look was shared. Perhaps it wasn't in Viggo's head, perhaps he was one of the men that Orlando fucked whenever Viggo turned him away.

Jealousy. The first stab to his heart, the first of the evening anyway. He longed to walk over there, grab Orlando and mark him as his. Hurt him, own him.

Anger. He wanted to kill every man in the room as they looked at his Orlando with their hungry eyes. Wolves the lot of them. Predators longing to devour his sweet youth. And he was his, he would show Orlando who he belonged to. No other should ever touch him, but then why did Viggo constantly insist that they stay casual, encourage Orlando not to fall in love.

Betrayal. Orlando smiled at the man in front of him and leaned in close, tucking a folded piece of paper in to his hand as he shook it. Was it a love note? A phone number? It was more then Viggo could stand. He got up from his seat and walked over to Orlando, HIS Orlando. He was greeted by a huge grin. He hated that grin, or did he love it? He didn't know anymore. He didn't know anything anymore.

"We're going back to yours."

Orlando followed Viggo like a good boy, just as he always did. He did whatever Viggo told him to, because he loved him and what ever Viggo said must be right.

Once the door to Orlando 's bedroom was shut, he pushed the boy on to the bed, bruising his mouth with a crushing kiss. With every kiss, Viggo sucked out a little more of the boy's soul

"Mine," Viggo's gruff voice ghost

Orlando's heart was beating furiously, his skin was tingling. He relished the words, lived for them. He was his, always his. He could never be anyone else's. Before Orlando could dwell on the words too much, his shirt was ripped open, and a hot tongue was swirling over a taught nipple. His trousers were removed, along with his boxers, and the hot mouth of the man he loved was enveloping him, sucking him in.

Thrills ran through him, yet his head was telling him to be careful. Just as his orgasm threatened to explode, Viggo flipped him over on to his front. He heard Viggo remove his own clothes in a hurry before he felt two fingers being roughly pushed in to his body. It hurt him a little, but he didn't allow himself to make a sound of discomfort. He didn't want Viggo to stop. He wanted to be taken, used, marked as Viggo's. Only his.

The guilt and the desire that coursed through Viggo was all consuming. He was shaking from it as he plunged in to his lover's tight body, no further preparation, nothing to help ease him in. He pushed all the way in then pulled all the way back, picking up speed, each thrust deeper and harder. Orlando 's hand went to his mouth, biting down through the pain, stifling moans of pleasure. He loved and hated the way Viggo was taking him. Just as Viggo loved and hated Orlando at this moment. He fucked the boy without mercy, not even caring about the sensations going though his cock. He only cared that Orlando understood, understood that he belonged to him and no other.

Orlando began to move back on to Viggo's stiff flesh, fucking himself harder, deeper. The words were there, in his mouth, on his tongue. The same words that threatened to spill every time Viggo took him. The words he forces himself not to say, for knowledge that Viggo would shout at him, tell him simply, not to love him.

Orlando 's mewls hit Viggo's ears and he fucked him harder.

'Yes that's it. No one can take you this way but me. No one can hurt you and have you beg for more. You are mine.'

"Mine," Viggo breathed as he felt Orlando tighten around him, telling him he was close to coming.

'I'm going to make him come harder then he ever has before. I'm going to make him die.'

Orlando cried out as he came in to the bed spread, pumping his hips in to it until he was empty. He felt Viggo spill himself inside him silently, shaking from the force of it.

Viggo fell down next to Orlando on the bed, he threw his arm over his eyes.

'Can't bare to look at the boy's innocent face, not yet, not ever.'

He had never known guilt like this before, never known such self-hatred. He felt an attentive caress on his chest, a soft brush of lips upon his skin. It was more the he could stand. He pushed Orlando away from him and moved off the bed, picking up his clothes as he moved. He knew that if he didn't end this now, he would end up killing Orlando, killing the gentle soul that he was.

He dressed himself and sat back down on the bed, refusing to look at Orlando 's confused face.

" Your leaving?" His voice was like a child, freighted of being left alone in the dark .

"I'm leaving." Viggo still couldn't look at Orlando. One look and his heart would catch on fire.

Orlando reached out a hand to stroke Viggo's back, but the older man just moved further away. "I don't understand."

Viggo forced himself to look at the face of an angel. He was right, his heart did catch on fire. He couldn't breath through it. "I love you."

Orlando had been waiting to hear those words from Viggo for a painfully long time. He knew he should be smiling, telling Viggo he loved him back, but this wasn't like his fantasies. This wasn't how he dreamed it would be. "Your leaving for good aren't you." It wasn't a question, more an understanding.

Viggo touched his fingers to Orlando 's mouth, knowing that night after night for the rest of his life, he would remember the way they felt and wish he were dead.

"I love you too much. Its all too much. It hurts, it burns and I cant do it anymore. If I don't leave right now then I never will and I will end up killing you, kill the sweet man you are and make you bitter and cruel like me."

Orlando pushed Viggo's hand away from his mouth. "You're a fucking coward is what you are." He stood up and went to the door, opening it. "You so afraid to love and let someone love you back. You're a coward."

Viggo hung his head and stood up slowly, walking passed Orlando, only stopping to look back at his lover.

"You'll be back." Viggo turned at the confident words coming from Orlando. "I'm sure you don't think so now. But sooner or later you wont be able to resist. It will gnaw at you night after night, the need to be with me. And on the night you finally succumb and crawl back to me, begging me to forgive you, I will, and we will be right back where we are now. Only I'll be stronger, and next time I wont let you go."

Viggo knew it was true, he knew that someday he would come back, begging, on his knees. He hated it, but it was a fact. He craved Orlando and already he missed him. As he walked out of the front door, to the car a little further down the road, he knew he would be back. The longing, the fear, the aching, it will be more then he can stand.

Too much yet never enough

You said you loved me too much

That one day I would leave you alone with only your hunger to remind you that you are alive

You said that I would kill you, so you killed me first

Leaving me with our bed cruelly trying to console me with your smell

I see now how you curse yourself

To live in the world of light, pretending to belong there

But the darkness inside of you needs me

Needs to feed on my devil

Indulge in my body

For I am your drug

An addictive poison

It is only a matter of time before the thirst tear's in to your dry heart

With jagged teeth and a watering mouth

But answer me this now:

How in a world of frightened children and bloodied hands can you be loved too much?

*****

THE END

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