The Frog Prince - Middle-earth Style!

The Frog Prince - Middle-earth Style!

Posted: June 16, 2006
Title: The Frog Prince -- Middle-earth style!
Author: Athos
Type: FCS
Characters: Erestor/Frog -- HA! Just kidding. Erestor/???
Rating: PG-13. Just a kiss, nudity and some ass grabbing. Hey, this *is* a fairy tale, after all...
Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. All Tolkien's.
Warnings: questionable humor and abuse of a fairy tale.
Beta: Aglarien. Many thanks!
Author's Notes: This was written in early 2006 for the Erestor Lovers Group's Fairy Tale Challenge. *...* denotes emphasis.

Summary: Erestor befriends a little frog.

*****

Erestor was not happy. It had been a long, terrible, frustrating, very tiring day. While it had been the same for everyone involved in these endless negotiations, it was worse for Erestor because he had no one to come home to, no one to gripe at, no one to make it all better. No wife, no husband, no lover, not even any real friends. It was his own fault, really, because when he was tired and stressed, he got snappish and impatient (and who wouldn't?). Unfortunately, he took so much work upon himself that he was *always* tired and stressed, and thus was *always* snappish and impatient.

So, having no one upon whom to unburden himself, Erestor sought solitude in the peaceful gardens of Imladris. He finally sat down on a smooth stone beside a small pond half covered in lily pads and flowers. With a sigh, he reached up and unclipped the favorite hair pin binding the tight, heavy braids that status demanded he twist his hair into every day, seeking to relieve some of the tension in his neck and shoulders. He set the pin—his mother had made it for him, and it was the one thing he could always count on to bring a smile to his face—down on the rock beside him and ran his long fingers through his luxurious black hair, reveling in the sensual pleasure the simple act gave him when—

*plop*

"Oh, no!" exclaimed Erestor in dismay when he turned to discover that he had not, in fact, set the hair pin on the rock beside him but instead had dropped it into the pond. The pond that now seemed inordinately deep for an ordinary, innocent little garden pond. The water was clear, and he could plainly see his hair clip, but just as plainly saw that the pond was several feet deep, much too far to reach. Even if Erestor could swim, he would not suffer the indignity of stripping down in the garden to swim in the pond.

Erestor stared at his lost treasure. Then he started to cry. Small sniffles at first, the very last sound one would expect from the cold, stoic advisor, but soon the heartbreaking sniffles gave way to great tearing sobs and small rivers of tears that flowed down Erestor's white cheeks and black robes, spilling into the pond. All this display, had any other elf been present to witness it, was not only for the hair clip, but also for the utter sadness and loneliness that Erestor felt, had felt for years, and was now letting out. He sniffled and sobbed and wailed at the unfairness of it all until the sun set behind the high mountains surrounding the hidden valley and the garden was illuminated only by the few phosphorescent plants and fireflies.

"Oh, come now. That's enough crying, don't you think?" a deep voice sounded out.

Erestor jumped to his feet and whirled around. Oh, dear gods, if anyone from the house had seen him like that...

"Elf! I'm over here!"

Erestor frowned. The voice was coming from...the pond? He looked down at the water.

"To the left...the other left. My left. On the lily pad. Yes. Right there. Hello!"

Erestor stared. A frog was talking to him. An attractive, intelligent looking frog, he supposed, as far as frogs went, not warty or slimy like a toad, but really, a talking frog?

"Oh, come on! You live in a world of elves, wizards, demons, small people with furry feet and horrific appetites, magic rings, balrogs (oh, believe me, I'm quite familiar with them), and it's *that* hard for you to come to grips with an enchanted, talking frog?" the frog demanded, stamping a webbed foot wetly on the lily pad.

"Well, when you put it that way, I suppose..." Erestor conceded bemusedly.

"So. What exactly caused the deluge that interrupted my nap?" the frog asked conversationally.

"My hair clip...it fell down in the water. My mother gave it to me...it's my favorite," Erestor confessed, feeling the tears start to fill his eyes again.

"Oh, don't cry! I can dive down and bring it back for you...for a price," the frog offered.

"What price?" Erestor asked. What could a frog possibly want from him?

"You must take me back with you into the Last Homely House," the frog said seriously.

"Oh, fine, anything! But please, get it back for me!' Erestor pleaded.

"Very well." The frog peered down into the water. "Ah, yes. I see. It's very beautiful. Much like the elf who wears it." The frog winked, and before Erestor could recover from the shock of the frog's words, it had dived into the pond with barely a splash. Erestor watched over the side of the pond anxiously, and sighed with relief as the frog hopped up onto the bank, hair pin in its mouth. The frog delicately spat it to the ground and watched while Erestor dried it off with the corner of his robes. As Erestor replaced the clip in his hair, the frog asked gently, "Now, what else were you crying so enthusiastically about? Surely not only over a hair pin, beautiful and valuable though it is?"

Having regained control of his emotions, and having had quite enough of this silly little frog, Erestor said haughtily, "That's none of your business!" and strode off towards the house. He'd just remembered that Elrond was meeting him for an informal dinner in his rooms to discuss their impressions of the negotiations, and if he hurried, he wouldn't be late.

A high, anxious voice broke through his thoughts. "Wait! Wait! You have to take me with you!" the frog cried.

Erestor turned and looked down his nose at the frog. "If you're that desperate to go there, what's stopping you from hopping up there yourself?" he asked, then resolutely walked back home, without a backwards glance.

The frog sat there a moment, mouth hanging open in shock. Staring after the black robed elf, he snapped his jaw shut and shouted angrily, "Dammit, that's *not* how it works!" Sighing angrily, he started hopping after Erestor, grumbling under his breath.

* * *

Erestor and Elrond had just sat down to eat a simple dinner between them in Erestor's elegant chambers when they heard a muted thump at the door leading from Erestor's sitting room to the gardens.

"Erestor, what was that?" Elrond asked.

"Oi! Elf! You, come out here and let me in!" a deep and suspiciously familiar voice yelled from the other side of the garden door. Erestor's eyes grew huge, and he dropped his fork onto his plate with a clatter. Surely it wasn't...

"Elf! I know you're in there! You promised!"

Seeing that his chief advisor wasn't moving, an amused and curious Elrond rose from the table and walked slowly towards the garden door, opening the upper half and peering out. He didn't see anyone.

"No, not you! You're not the elf I saw earlier. It's the other one in there, the beautiful, dark haired one. With the slightly pond-weedy hair pin."

Following the sound of the unfamiliar voice, Elrond looked down and saw the frog. Now, Elrond had a good many abilities that other elves didn't have, and through such capacities immediately saw the true nature of the frog, and what had to be done to set things right for the poor soul. He grinned and winked at the frog. "Erestor," he called, "I do believe you have another guest. You should let him in."

"No, Elrond, I'm quite certain that you're the only one I invited tonight," Erestor called shrilly from the table.

"Erestor? That's his name?" the frog asked Elrond quietly. Elrond nodded. The frog raised his voice again and yelled, "You promised to take me into the house if I got your silly little hair pin for you! I've done my part, now let me in!"

Elrond was of no help to poor Erestor. "Erestor, come now. Let the poor frog in. It seems that you've not upheld your end of a promise. Such very uncharacteristic behavior from my chief advisor," the Lord said, smirking at Erestor.

"Are you serious?" Erestor squeaked.

"Yes, he is. Now, if you'd open the door, we'll get on with it!" the frog answered.

Erestor stared at Elrond. Elrond stared back. Finally, with a great sigh of resignation, Erestor dragged his feet towards the door, released the latch savagely and opened the door a few inches. The frog hopped in and said pleasantly, "Thank you."

Erestor gawked at the frog and asked bravely, "Well. Now that you're here, what are you going to do?"

"Why, join you for dinner, of course! It's been a good age and a half since I've had food like this," the frog replied, wriggling his little froggy butt and taking a huge leap from the floor to the table. Elrond smiled amiably at the frog and sat down at his place, leaving Erestor standing and still gaping at the door.

"Erestor?" Elrond asked, motioning for his advisor to join them. Slowly, as if approaching the headsman's block, Erestor joined them and sat at his seat, eyeing the frog seated on the table at his right with distain.

"I'd like some of those potatoes, please. And a cup of that soup. It smells divine!" the frog requested.

With a last searing glare at Elrond, Erestor served the frog a frog-sized portion. The frog remained silent for the rest of the meal, and Erestor and Elrond were able to complete their business. When dinner was done, and the frog had belched appreciatively, Erestor said nastily, "Well, now that you've been brought in and fed from my table, you can go," and proceeded to rise from the table and open the garden door to shoo out the creature.

The frog looked appealingly at Elrond. "Erestor, I think that you should be kinder to him; he's obviously not a normal frog," Elrond said. Erestor blinked. The frog beamed. Elrond continued, "In fact, I think you should keep him with you, let him be your companion. He's such a nice little frog, just do as he asks for the evening." Under his breath to the frog he inquired, "You won't do anything too terrible to him? I'll need his sanity intact tomorrow."

The frog reassured him, "Never fear, my Lord. He'll be fine with me."

Through this Erestor hadn't said anything. Surely his lord must not be serious.

"Don't give me that look, Erestor, I'm quite serious." Elrond rose from the table. "Now, if the two of you will excuse me, I have some business to attend to. Goodnight."

Erestor watched his lord depart, and jumped when the door shut, closing him in with this....frog. He looked at the frog, still seated on the table, and the frog looked back with a friendly smile.

"Well," exclaimed the frog. "What shall we do the rest of the evening? I'm quite fond of chess, though it's been an age since I've played."

Erestor, shaking with indignation, ground out, "*I* shall be doing important work. *You* will stay out of my way."

"Fair enough. These webbed feet aren't much use for holding a pen," the frog replied.

Erestor sat down at his desk, pulling out some work and his inkwell. A moment later, he heard a small sound at his feet and looked down. The frog cleared his throat.

"Let me sit at your desk while you work?" he requested.

"Why?" Erestor asked, too bewildered to be snide.

"Because I want to watch you. You're very attractive, you know, when you aren't scowling."

With a sigh, Erestor reached down and scooped the frog up, depositing him none too gently on the corner of the desk. Then he turned back to work, vowing to ignore the annoying little creature for the rest of the evening. The frog, it seemed, was content to be ignored for the time being, and said nothing as Erestor worked long into the night. Erestor worked so hard that he quite forgot about the frog, which remained silent as the Advisor rose and stretched. The elf yawned hugely and walked over to his closet, pulled out a night robe and set it on the bed. His back to the desk, he unbuttoned his formal robes and tossed them over a chair, pulled off his undershirt and shimmied out of his leggings. Nude, he reached for the night robe and was about to pull it over his head when...

"Nice ass," commented the frog appreciatively.

Erestor spun around with a squeak of surprise. The frog's eyes widened, and he smirked. "Nice package, too!" he added.

Erestor turned back around and quickly tried to cover himself with the robe, but in his haste became a bit tangled up, and spent a few minutes straightening things out. The frog said nothing, being perfectly content to watch the show.

Finally, the robe was over his head and everything was covered up. Erestor turned towards the frog, red faced with embarrassment. "Are you quite through tormenting me? Isn't it time you return to your little pond to sleep?" he demanded.

"Nope. Actually, I'd much prefer to sleep on your pillow," the frog replied.

"On my...!" Erestor couldn't finish, the thought was so ridiculous.

"Please?"

The frog somehow managed to make puppy-dog eyes at Erestor, who sighed, vowed to get Elrond for this one day, and scooped up the frog again. He set the frog more gently than before on the pillow next to his, blew out the candles in the room, and returned to the bed. "You truly mean to sleep there?" Erestor asked.

"Yes, I do," the frog maintained.

"Fine." Erestor got under the covers. "Anything else?"

"I said *your* pillow."

Sighing again, Erestor moved the frog to his pillow, and looked at him, daring the frog to ask for something else.

"One of those handkerchiefs would make for a very nice blanket, as the ones you're using are too heavy for my little body," the frog requested.

Erestor grabbed a hankie from the bedside table and draped it over the frog. He waited.

"I suppose a bedtime story would be pushing it..." the frog asked.

"Yes!" Erestor snapped. "Now, good night!" He lay stiffly on his back and closed his eyes.

A few moments later, he heard the frog's voice softly in his ear. "How about a goodnight kiss?"

With a screech of rage, Erestor jumped from the bed. "Aargh! Infernal amphibian! No! I will not! Get out!" And he picked up the surprised frog by the foot and flung him across the room, where he hit the wall with a thud.

That small thud was followed by another, much bigger thud. Erestor turned to see what had happened and was shocked to see not the frog, but a fully-grown, tanned, muscular, golden haired, very handsome and very naked elf lying on the floor. Erestor gawked. And the frog had looked so little...

He was startled from his staring when the elf spoke in the same, deep voice, "Well, I suppose that way works, too," he glared at Erestor, "but I'd have much preferred the kiss." He stood up and looked around. Glancing at Erestor, he asked, "Do you mind if I close that window? It's a bit drafty." Erestor nodded dumbly, watching the rounded buttocks of his guest flex as he walked to shut the window. "And close your mouth," the elf continued. "I speak from experience when I say that flies won't actually fly into your mouth if you leave it hanging open."

Finally, Erestor spoke. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Glorfindel of Gondolin."

Erestor's jaw dropped again. Glorfindel smiled, and walked towards the frozen elf, put his finger under his chin, and closed it. "Yes, I know," he went on. "I died. Bloody Balrog. But the Valar decided that I should be reborn to help our Lord Elrond and stuff. Unfortunately, Mandos has an inscrutable sense of humor, and I was reborn as an enchanted frog. I've been waiting centuries in that pond for someone to come along."

Erestor was still shocked. This was too strange.

Seeing that Erestor wasn't saying anything, and deciding that helping Elrond could wait at least until morning, Glorfindel continued in a low voice, "Well, Elrond did say that I was to be your companion, right?"

Erestor nodded.

"And he did say that you were to do as I asked of you?"

Erestor nodded again.

Glorfindel wrapped his arms around the other elf, grabbing Erestor's ass with both hands and leaning in close, "How about that kiss, then?"

* * *

And they both lived happily ever after.

*****

THE END

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