Thank God I Found You

Thank God I Found You

Posted: April 21, 2006
Title: Thank God I Found You
Author: Amber
Type: FCS
Characters: Elrond/Glorfindel
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Tolkien except for Timal and Casarin who are mine. I am just borrowing them for now.
Beta: Alex

Summary: Two find their way.

*****

~~Imladris, Third age~~

Elrond stood with his family and required staff before the entrance to the house. They awaited the arrival of Glorfindel of Gondolin. Cirdan had sent him a message by courier several weeks ago stating that the Vala had returned Glorfindel to Arda to serve Elrond and his house. Cirdan was escorting him to Imladris as he could update Elrond on other developments taking place. The horn had sounded three hours ago signaling their arrival at the edge of the valley. All had assembled and now watched as the party approached.

The horses came to a stop before the assembled gathering. Dismounting, Cirdan greeted Elrond with a hug.

"Well, now that I know it takes the intervention of the Vala to get you to leave the Havens I will have to pray for it to happen more often," a smiling Elrond teased Cirdan.

"You should know that I only came to ensure that your children are causing you the same headaches you caused me when you were young, child," came Cirdan's reply as he turned and embraced Celebrian.

Cirdan then turned to the big blond standing beside a magnificent white stallion and motioned him forward.

"Elrond, this is Glorfindel of Gondolin; Glorfindel, this is Earendil's first born son Elrond." Cirdan said introducing them. Then he turned away to meet the baby Arwen.

Elrond and Glorfindel grasped arms in a warriors grasp. As their eyes met Elrond felt a shock run thru him as they stopped and stared. He finally managed to eek out a greeting of his own while wondering about the turmoil he was feeling inside.

"Mae Govannen, and welcome to my house. I hope you will like it here enough to call it home before to much time passes."

"I am sure I will," was the only response Glorfindel tendered as he was trying to hide the same wild emotions running through himself that he saw in Elrond's eyes.

Elrond turned and introduced Celebrian and his twin sons. Cirdan introduced him to Arwen as he had refused to relinquish her back to her mother. The twins were strangely reserved and Elrond wondered about their behavior. He had not seen the look that passed between them when he lost himself staring into Glorfindel's eyes. Glorfindel greeted them all with quiet reserve. Them Elrond introduced him to the key members of his staff.

"These are the major staff you will be working with on a daily basis, Lindir is my head minstrel and runs my house. Melpoeman is in charge of the library and storage rooms, Casarin is my present Captain of the Guard whom you will be working closely with. The last two I believe you know already," Elrond told him.

At Glorfindel's puzzled look, Elrond and Cirdan just smiled. Then Glorfindel saw who was stepping to the front. A look of shock and then a huge smile overtook his face as he drew the two into his arms for a big hug.

"Erestor is my senior advisor as he was Turgon's, and Timal went from being your chief chef to being mine," Elrond said.

After several minutes of happy exchanges, Elrond broke the little group up.

"Come, you have all the time you will need to become reacquainted but you must be tired from your journey. You will find that your bags have already been taken to your quarters. I have put you in the family wing with us, Glorfindel I hope that you do not mind. Cirdan, you are in your usual room. Follow me and I will guide you while Lindir takes care of everyone else. You can rest and refresh yourselves for several hours. I will have the twins escort you when the feast begins tonight." Elrond said escorting everyone into the house.

Celebrian escorted Cirdan while Elrond guided Glorfindel. As he left him in his room to rest, Glorfindel and Elrond's eyes again met. The feelings that whirled through both of them were clearly evident to each other but neither knew how to respond. Elrond left and returned to his study to analyze these feelings. They posed many questions and unsettled him greatly.

Glorfindel settled into the household slowly. He spent much of his time with Erestor or in the kitchens with Timal when he was not on duty. He had become Elrond's General of Forces and oversaw all aspects of protecting the valley. He took training the twins in combat as a personal duty. He knew that if anything happened to them it would devastate Elrond and he cared too much about him to allow that to happen. He and the twins' relationship had been rocky at first but he soon gained their respect and over the years earned their affections. To him, they became the children that knew he would never sire himself. Life settled into a steadiness that was comfortable. There was only one area in his life that he could not control and therefore caused him pain, although none knew. He realized that he had fallen in love with Elrond at first sight.

Elrond grew to depend on Glorfindel greatly and they became great friends. They both knew of the other's feeling of love for them but neither would openly acknowledge those feelings. Elrond was trapped in a loveless political marriage for all eternity. He had allowed Celeborn and Galadriel to convince him that a political marriage was the only way to bring together and stabilize the Elven realms. Thranduil had already married a cousin of Celeborn's tying together Greenwood and Lorien. They proposed a match between Elrond and their daughter to tie together Imladris and Lindon with the other realms.

Elrond had been hesitant to agree to a match that would trap his friend's daughter in a political marriage. He knew that most considered him an unfit match for their daughters because of his human blood. Celebrian herself had ensured him that she would not mind being his mate for all eternity. It was only after several years of marriage that Elrond realized Celebrian's true intent. She had thought that she could convince Elrond to take up Gil-Galad's throne and become Queen. It was a rude shock to her that Elrond would never be accepted as King and therefore was justified in refusing the throne. She retaliated for what she saw as a personal slight by Elrond by refusing to stay by his side. She told him, after he refused the crown, that she was disgusted by him and that she had not realized what being mated to a peredhil had meant physically. She proceeded to spend large amounts of time in Lorien rather than in Imladris, and Elrond spent his time raising his children alone. Elrond had closed himself off from all but his children. He was considered kind by all, but inside he was cold and all but dead. Too many losses had done too much damage for him to ever really feel again. Glorfindel slowly thawed Elrond's heart.

Glorfindel noticed right away that the relationship between Elrond and Celebrian was not right. After talking to Erestor, he knew why. Glorfindel knew that the bond between Elrond and Celebrian could not be broken but he also knew that he loved Elrond and would do anything for him. He found himself spending more personal time with Elrond whenever Celebrian was gone. He was always careful not to cause gossip or trouble with Elrond's children. When they were alone together, he would touch Elrond to provide support. Never did he go beyond a gentle pat, rub, or holding Elrond's hand, but they both came to depend on these moments. They both thought that this was limit to how far they could carry their love and learned to be content with it.

It was two thousand years later that everything changed. Celebrian was attacked by Orcs in the Redhorn Pass while traveling back to Lorien after a brief stay in Imladris dictated by her mother. Glorfindel and the twins rescued their mother but in the end it didn't matter. Celebrian sailed to Aman a year later. She claimed that she had lost all joy in Middle Earth, but had told Elrond in private that she was sailing to escape him and their marriage. Her parents had told her she was no longer welcome in live Lorien as she had a home and family in Imladris. They said it was time she honored the commitment she had willingly made. Celebrian made it very clear to Elrond that she would not be waiting for him when or if he ever sailed. She wanted nothing more to do with him.

Glorfindel bided his time and waited. Elrond must be given time to adjust to the fact that his marriage was over. The realization that one is trapped for all eternity with no way out can be very devastating. Elrond need time to come to terms with his situation. He also had to find the courage to face his children with the truth.

One night several years later, when Elrond was in his cups after a feast, Glorfindel took the initiative to change their lives. He escorted a tipsy Elrond by to his rooms. After removing his clothes and putting him to bed, Glorfindel kissed Elrond. What had been planned as a gentle slow start changed rapidly. Elrond reached up and threaded his hands through Glorfindel's golden hair. He pulled Glorfindel closer and deepened the kiss. Glorfindel realized he had to take charge before they did something neither was ready for yet. Pulling away, he gently held Elrond against the bed. Elrond groaned and tried to recapture Glorfindel's lips.

"Shush, my love," Glorfindel told him while holding him down. "Elrond, stop this now and look at me."

When Elrond had calmed himself and given him his full attention, Glorfindel explained himself.

"I love you as much as you love me, but we must approach how we deal with these feelings with care. Celebrian is gone over the sea now and by law, you are allowed to seek comfort with another of your own sex. None can question this right legally but many will question your motives. We must be careful in how we approach this. If we were any other than who we are, none would question our being together, but both of us are too different to escape not being noticed. I would also seek the children's approval for neither of us would see them hurt." Glorfindel said.

"You mean the world to me, Glorfindel I love you with all my heart. It tears me apart every time I think about being bound to Celebrian for all eternity. It should have been you. I should not have given in to Celeborn and Galadriel. I understand their reasons but I was a fool to give in to them. If it was just I who must suffer I would endure but you do not deserve this," Elrond cried with tears running down his face.

"It's all right, Elrond. We are together now and that is all that counts. We will face the future when it comes. Rest now, and let me hold you." Glorfindel caressed Elrond's face as he cuddled close on top of the covers. Soon, both were lost in an exhausted but comforted sleep.

Unknown to the occupants of the bed, an eagle had been sitting in the tree outside Elrond's balcony. It had witnessed and heard all that occurred within. After ensuring that the two were asleep, the eagle took a last look before soaring into the night sky and heading home, into the West.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elrond and Glorfindel's relationship deepened over the years. While they never publicly acknowledged their love, most in Imladris knew and approved. Celeborn and Galadriel had made a point of visiting one winter about a hundred years after Celebrian's departure. They ensured Elrond that they understood the nature of his relationship and did not hold it against him or Glorfindel. Their approval did much to remove the lingering doubt and restraints of Elrond's children. For the first time in his long life, Elrond experienced what a true family was like. Unfortunately, it was not to last.

Elrond had always known what fate awaited his daughter, but his sons' choice to remain behind without coming to a decision was a hard thing to accept. He knew that they could still join him in Aman when Arwen passed, but could not see it happening. Freedom and peace coming to Middle Earth ended the time of the elves and Elrond was to sail with the other ring bearers. The love he had found and that meant so much to his life was now threatened. He knew that if he stayed, he would fade. Being the bearer of Vilya had taken too much out of him; he would not survive long once it was destroyed. Sailing to Aman meant the end of his and Glorfindel's relationship as it was. In Aman he would be expected to conduct himself as Celebrian's husband regardless of the fact that their marriage was a failure. For him to stay with Glorfindel was forbidden, and would end up with them before the Valar in the Ring of Doom. Elrond was lost and could not make a decision as to what he should do.

After many days of locking himself in his study to pray and think, Elrond came to a decision. He went to find Glorfindel and inform him of his choice. He found him in the kitchens with Erestor and Timal.

"So, you have finally decided to inform me of what you have decided about our relationship without my input?" Glorfindel asked rather huffily.

Elrond studied Glorfindel before answering.

"I know my decision affects you also. Maybe I am being selfish in making this decision for both of us without consulting you first, but I love you too much to make you pay for my mistakes. Once we arrive in Aman, I will retire to exile. Celebrian does not want me and because of my bonding to her, I cannot have you. You deserve a chance at a life with family, a life without blame and ridicule. In time, you will get over me and be able to start again." Elrond told him, then he turned away and left the room.

Glorfindel could only stare after him as he felt his chest constrict with the pain of a broken heart. He didn't even notice the tears flowing form his eyes as he stared at the empty door.

"Glorfindel, you fool, shake out of it." Timal said as she shook him. "What are you waiting for, go after him."

Erestor was a bit more forceful as he pushed Glorfindel after Elrond. "Glorfindel, go knock some sense into the head of that stubborn peredhil. If you love him at all, don't let him do this to the two of you. Make him see reason."

Glorfindel was stopped by the twins in the corridor leading to the family quarters.

"Glorfindel, why was father crying? He would not even stop and talk with us? What is going on?" Elladan inquired.

"Your stubborn father has just decided to end our relationship before leaving for Aman. He does not want me to suffer the wrath of the Vala because of our love," Glorfindel responded.

The twins looked at each other in that way that said they were silently communicating. When they came to an agreement, Elrohir turned to Glorfindel.

"We did not always approve of the feelings between you and our father. With his reluctance to say an ill word about our mother to us, it took us many years to realize the truth of the situation between them. We accept that our parents will never had the bond that they should and we want only what is best for them. We love you, Glorfindel, as if you were our own parent. We will stand by the two of you no matter what you decide to do. Now go and make father see reason. He has scarified enough in his life, don't let your love be added to that list."

Entering Elrond's rooms, Glorfindel found him sitting in front of the fire staring into space. Studying him in silence for a moment, Glorfindel realized what he had to do and what decision had to be made. Approaching Elrond, he knelt in front of him and took his hands into his own.

"Elrond, look at me. I love you. I cannot, I will not live the rest of my life without you. I do not care if this means that I am sentenced to Mando's Halls forever. All I care about is staying with you." Glorfindel said with all of his heart.

"I cannot let you make this sacrifice, Glorfindel. You have done no wrong. I know you are terrified of going back to the Halls. You forget who holds you at night when you have your nightmares. Now that I have experienced the depth of your love, I realize that I can be with no other. Yet, I cannot be with you for it is forbidden. I am still bound to Celebrian. I love you too much to ask you to accompany me into exile in the Halls. I will not ask this of you. It is better this way, Glorfindel. I love you but I have to let you go," Elrond said as the light died form his eyes.

"Elrond, listen to me," Glorfindel pleaded. "I will fade if you leave me. You are my life. I care not for whatever punishment I must face if it means that we will be together."

"Think about what you are saying Glorfindel. We cannot even be sure we would be together in Mandos' Halls if that is our fate. I am willing to do whatever it takes to protect you for I love you." Elrond pleaded.

"No, Elrond, I to have made my decision. I will go with you to the Ring of Doom when the time comes but I will not be separated from you before then," Glorfindel told Elrond. Then he caught Elrond totally off guard with his next request.

"Elrond, you know how I feel for you and I know how you feel for me. At dusk tonight Elrond, before our family and friends, bond with me."

With tears streaming down his face, Elrond wrapped Glorfindel in a crushing embrace.

"Yes, my love yes, I will do this," Elrond managed to choke out, "Let us tell the children, and our friends."

That night, after an afternoon of hurried preparations, Erestor called on the Valar to bless the bonding of Elrond and Glorfindel. The feast afterwards was merry and served to relieve, temporarily, the tensions of many who were worried about sailing. The newly bonded couple slipped away to complete the binding after the feast was served.

Elrond and Glorfindel held hands tightly as they entered the Ring of Doom together. Walking to the center of the Ring, they turned to Manwe and bowed. The Vala were silent as they watched the two who had come for judgment before them now.

"Elrond, you have served the creator without question since you were a small child. He is pleased with you service. Glorfindel, you also have pleased the creator with you actions. Why did you both choose to defy the law now when you are free to find rest and peace?" Manwe inquired.

It was Elrond who answered for both of them.

"What good is rest and peace if you are lonely and without the one you love? We have done what was asked of us without much complaint. Is it too much to ask if now that we are able we can live a life of love together? We know that we have broken the law and will accept whatever punishment you dictate. We only ask that we be allowed to stay together."

"We knew of your request and have inquired of Celebrian if she plans to go to Mandos' Halls. She has no such plans. She did tell us that while bound together, there is no relationship between you. We have not been totally blind to your suffering and loneliness. You have others who have promoted your cause to us. We have put the problem before Iluvatar and are awaiting an answer. Until the time we are given an answer, the bond already formed between you shall be blocked out and you shall stand alone. Elrond, you will go to the Gardens of Lorien to find peace and begin healing. Glorfindel, you shall remain with me and serve Eonwe until a decision is reached," Manwe told them.

After a brief hug, the two were separated unsure of when or even if they would ever see each other again. As time passed they both began to languish and slowly fade.

One day Varda approached Manwe to enquire about their fate for she was one who believes that they belonged together.

"My husband, has not an answer been given? You can see that they clearly love each other as soul mates, they begin to fade without the other. Elrond will not last much longer for his suffering in Middle Earth was too great. He needs the assurance that he will not be alone for all eternity to survive." She asked of her husband.

"I had an answer all along, my wife. Iluvatar has blessed their union. What they endure now is punishment for their lack of faith in the Creator. They must first place their trust in Iluvator to heal them and take care of their needs, not in each other. Glorfindel has already taken this step but Elrond resists." Manwe told her.

"Will he find his way in time?" Varda asked.

"That is a mystery even to me at this point. I feel as you do, my love, but can do nothing. It has been forbidden to help him." Manwe answered sadly as he resumed watching the events taking place in the realm he had been given to oversee.

Elrond was slowly walking around the lake when he began to cry. He veered off the path and came to a secluded glen he had never been in before. Dropping to his knees in exhaustion he hugged himself. Raising his face to the sky he cried out.

"Forgive me. Forgive me for whatever I have done to anger you. All I have wanted, all I have ever wanted was to not be alone. Why? Help me to understand!" Elrond begged as he rocked to and fro.

Suddenly he felt a mighty presence swirling around him as if carried in the wind. He felt both awe and fear. A gentle voice whispered into his ear so quietly he had to strain to hear it.

"When have you ever been alone little one? When have I ever left you alone? You have remained faithful for so long. Why do you doubt me now?" the voice said.

Elrond went still as he thought about what he was asked. As realization of the truth dawned on him, he prostrated himself on the ground in fear.

"I am sorry, I had no cause to doubt you. Forgive me my lack of faith, father. Forgive me," he cried.

"Finally you see the truth. Do not let yourself be blinded again, little one. I will not be so forgiving next time." The voice said. Elrond felt a gentle caress upon his head as blackness engulfed him.

Elrond awoke feeling rested and refreshed to find himself in his bed. Este and Lorein were beside him.

"You have finally found peace Elrond. Tell me how," Este asked of him.

"I cried out to Iluvatar and he answered. He came to me in the glen. I realized now that I had lost my faith in him. I had let what was going on around me taint me and lead me astray. I have found my way back with his help," he answered.

"And what about Glorfindel?" Lorien asked.

"I love him and that will never change but I realize that I must do what Iluvatar has dictated for me to do. If he wishes for me to give up Glorfindel, I will, no matter how much it hurts." Elrond replied.

Lorien heard the honesty and acceptance in his voice and smiled.

"I worried for a while that you would be lost to the Halls before you found your way back, little one." Manwe said as he came through the doorway with Namo behind him. Elrond bowed his head in greeting but Manwe saw the sadness in his eyes.

"I am sorry for the harsh punishment but you had to find your way back. We were worried for you but all that is at an end now. Iluvatar has blessed your union with Glorfindel and set Celebrian free to find her way. Go and be happy." Namo told him as he disappeared.

Elrond sat in his bed for a minute as he contemplated all that he had learned. Then smiling, he left his bed and disappeared into the forest with the blessings of the other Vala present. Although he had no idea where the glen was that he had been in before was located, he wandered the forest, trusting his instincts. Then he found it and Glorfindel was waiting in the middle for him. He rushed forward and threw himself into Glorfindel's arms. He kissed him deeply before pulling away. Looking deeply into each others eyes, they whispered to each other, "Thank God I found you."

*****

THE END

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