Hit And Miss

Hit And Miss

Posted: April 18, 2008
Title: Hit and Miss
Author: Alex
Type: FCHet
Characters: Celeborn/Galadriel
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Silliness
Challenge Name: The Joy of (Not So Good) Sex
Beta: Larian Elensar

Summary: Celeborn and Galadriel have a rough start to their marriage.

*****

He had named her Galadriel because of her golden hair and he thought her the most beautiful elf his eyes had ever seen. She was as tall as he was and as regal as Melian herself. He considered himself the luckiest of elves to become her wedded husband on this day.

He felt like he’d waited for this day his whole life. He was both excited and a little scared of her. She cowered before none and her ambition far outstripped his own. She meant to do grand things and she would too. He was content to stand behind her, support her and aid in her quests.

But this night, this was their wedding night. They had celebrated their union with what few friends and family that remained but now all that was over and they retired to their own rooms.

“Have you done this before?” She asked in her usual bold fashion. “I admit that I have not and am not quite sure how everything… works.”

Celeborn blushed and then felt the fool for it. “Nor have I but I am sure we shall figure it out.”

She grinned and nodded.

He moved to pull her into his arms, only to step on her dress and cause her to trip and fall into his arms, hitting her head over his chin. Her head seemed to be fine from the encounter but his teeth rattled and he bit the tip of his tongue.

Undaunted, Galadriel loosened her gown and let it fall around her feet in a swish of fabric. Celeborn forgot his tongue; indeed, he forgot his name for a second as he gazed upon her pale beauty.

Somehow he managed to undress too as she lay on the bed and watched him, a most wicked smiled playing upon her lips. She opened her arms for him and he went to her. Her lips were sweet and it took a moment for him to realize she was banging on his shoulder, trying to get his attention.

“You’re pulling my hair. It’s hung underneath me.” Somehow when he’d moved on top of her and put his arms beneath her, he had pulled her hair beneath her too and it was pulling her head back farther and farther. He rolled off of her and freed her golden tresses.

“Much better.” She moved across him to reach the covers, suddenly a little shy. When she did, she leaned her elbow into his stomach, which hurt. A lot.

“OUCH!”

“I’m sorry. I’m chilly and thought to cover up.”

He jerked the blanket over them and pulled her close again. They kissed yet again and nothing bad happened. They both paused and waited. Then they smiled and began kissing again.

Things progressed rather rapidly after that. With only a few misfirings, things were going well. Too well perhaps.

Celeborn moved above Galadriel and was ready to slide inside when she spoke. “Not there.”

What did she mean? Where else was there?

“Down just a little. Your angle is wrong.”

He adjusted and they fit just fine. Very fine. So fine that the bed began to rock. And rock. Really hard.

Finally it rocked right into the floor with a loud crash, carrying Celeborn and Galadriel with it. Servants came flying into the room only to see two very naked elves laughing themselves silly in a heap of blankets and pillows.

Everything was eventually righted and the two went back to bed. Galadriel lay curled up against Celeborn with her head on his shoulder. “You know, it will be dawn in less than an hour and we’ll have to get up.”

“Do you think we have enough time to try again?”

“We have forever to try again. But right now, we have to make an appearance for breakfast.”

Celeborn sighed and threw back the covers. He sat up and started to get out of the bed, but instead he tripped over part of the sheet that had fallen off the bed and fell flat on his face. After Galadriel finished laughing, she helped him up, wiped the blood from his nose and they went to breakfast.

And they lived very happily for many thousands of years after.

*****

THE END

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Alex